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| | {{char}} | | {{char}} |
| − | {{CharBox
| + | [[Image:Sonic 04.jpg|thumb|Real Sonic.]] |
| − | |name=Sonic the Hedgehog
| + | [[Image:THATS_NO_GOOD.png|thumb|THAT'S NO GOOD!]] |
| − | |image=Sonic modern and classic designs.jpg
| + | Sonic is the mascot for SEGA : an exceptionally BAD gaming corporation. He hasn't eaten a single decent sword since 10 A.D. Despite this all too true fact, [[SuperYoshi]] has stated on various occasions that [[Robotnik|Sonic]] is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than those pussies [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] and [[Silver]]. I hate them so much. |
| − | |caption=Sonic in both his Modern and Classic appearances. | |
| − | |shows=Sonic the Hedgehog | |
| − | |sex=Male
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| − | |age=15
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| − | |occupation=Fastest Thing Alive
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| − | |cast=[[Steve Urkel|Jaleel White]]/Ryan Drummond/[[Shadow the Hedgehog|Jason Anthony Griffith]]/Roger Craig Smith/Junichi Kanemaru/[[Dragon Ball|Takeshi]] [[Guilty Gear|Kusao]]
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| − | }}
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| − | '''Sonic''' is the mascot for [[SEGA]]. Unlike most hedgehogs, who are known for hogging hedges, he is known for running very fast. That's it. Despite him having an incredibly unpleasable and indecisive fanbase, [[SuperYoshi]] has stated on various occasions that Sonic is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] and [[Silver the Hedgehog|Silver]], instead preferring chili dogs.
| + | ==Biography== |
| | + | |
| | + | Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Sonico, Mr. Needlemouse, Cinos, Hedgehog and other names) was born and raised in West Philadelphia until a couple of badniks, who were up to no good, started making trouble in Green Hill. He got in one little fight and Amy got scared and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Scrap Brain." He whistled for a cab and when it came near, he gave it the middle finger. If anything, he could have said that this cab was Tails, so he went "THAT'S NO GOOD." He pulled up to Metropolis Zone at approximately 7 or 8 to claim his throne as the prince of the video game industry. Also throughout his entire career, Sonic has been in the porn industy..Yep...Look it up anywhere I ain't lyin... |
| | + | |
| | + | ==Crimes== |
| | | | |
| − | ==Biography==
| + | Is believed to have assassinated [[John Lennon]]. What a fag. He has also been caught drawing pornographic graffiti on the walls of Nintendo's HQ. |
| − | [[Image:THATS_NO_GOOD.png|thumb|right|THAT'S NO GOOD!]] | |
| − | :''It was about this high, it was blue, and it looked like a freak.'' ~Anonymous policeman.<br>
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| − | Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Sonico, Mr. Needlemouse, Cinos, (Dat) Hedgehog and other names) was born and raised in West [[Philadelphia]] until a couple of badniks, who were up to no good, started making trouble in Green Hill. He got in one little fight and Amy got scared and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Scrap Brain." He whistled for a cab and when it came near, he gave it the middle finger. If anything, he could have said that this cab was Tails, so he went "THAT'S NO GOOD."
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| − | [[Image:NOWYOURAMAN.JPG|thumb|left|Sonic becomes [[Linkara|A MAN]] in his Super form.]] He pulled up to Metropolis Zone at approximately 7 or 8 to claim his throne as the prince of the video game industry. He will be friendly to you if you like him, but will hate you if you want to touch him in a place or in a way that makes him feel uncomfortable.
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| | | | |
| | ==Quotes== | | ==Quotes== |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|EXACTLY!}}
| + | *EXACTLY! |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|LET'S SHIT!}}
| + | *LET'S SHIT! |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Kids, there's nothing wrong with being [[Sex|touched by someone you like]], but if someone tries to [[Rape|touch you in a place you don't want them to]], that's no good!}}
| + | *Your smile MUST DIE! |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|You're too slow!}}
| + | *You won't find Adobe here in Nairobi! |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|URRNGH! I'm MasturBAAAAAAATIIIIIIING!!!}}
| + | *That's no good. |
| − | [[Image:Robbed.gif|thumb|right|Sonic just realizing something.]]
| + | *GET READY TO CHEW MY BALLS |
| − | [[Image:Everyonehatesonic.gif|right|frame|This happens to Sonic a lot nowadays.]]
| + | *You're too slow! |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Tails is just like a little kid with his new toy.}}
| + | *COM'ON STEP IT UP FUCKERS! |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|SHUT UP TAILS!!!}}
| + | *Sex. Now outta my way! |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Too easy! Piece of cay-ache!}}
| + | *URRNGH! I'm MasturBAAAAAAATIIIIIIING!!! |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|SHIT! Let's go!}}
| + | *Estoy Esperando |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|He's just a piece o' cheesy hardware!}}
| + | |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Let's rock!}}
| + | |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Whatcha see is whatcha get! I'm just a guy who loves adventure! I'm ''Sonic the Hedgehog!!''}}
| + | [[Image:SonicMarioParty.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic before [[Sonic Shuffle]] ]] |
| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|They might even open the gates of [[hell]]!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Damn, they got away!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Maybe I could've, but I didn't, didn't I?}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|SPEED BREAK!!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|TIME BREAK!!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|I'm Sonic the Kidnapper!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newcomb%27s_paradox You might know everything I'm going to do, but that's not going to help you since I know everything you're going to do! STRANGE, ISN'T IT!?]}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Hey! THAT'S MY LINE!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Don't worry, I'll be out before you know it's funny.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Whoops! Time to make a U-turn!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|I told you, I'm not a rat! I'm a HEDGEHOG!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Hey, Kids! [[Dr. Rabbit|Strangers]] may offer you all sorts of things to get [[you]] to [[cum|come]] with them, [[Nostalgia Critic|like movies, magical tickets, and a lot of other horseshit,]] but chances are that [[Dr. Rabbit|they're]] just trying to touch your bathing suit area, and that's [[no]] [[good]]!!! So if a [[Dr. Rabbit|stranger]], especially Robert Prodsky tries to touch [[you]]r [[penis|chili dog]], just get outta there!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|They can't live me up!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|See Korean, I told you we'd make it in the 'he did not meet the agent.'}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|My brain, you know it going to [[die]].}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|[[Youtube Poop|No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!]]}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Let's make like [[Dr. Eggman|Eggman's]] hairline and recede!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|That tornado's carrying a car!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Watch out, you're gonna crash. Aah!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|I'll just stick with "aliens", if that's okay with everybody.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|You have a problem learning how to read!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|If you leave your game, you need to remember this: if you [[die]] outside of your own game, you won't regenerate, ''ever''! Game Over!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Click on me for help!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Sonic|Uhh, [[Cats|''meow?'']]}}
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| | | | |
| | ==Likes== | | ==Likes== |
| − | *Chili Dogs | + | *Freedom |
| − | *[[Princess Sally]] | + | *Chili Dawgs |
| − | *[[Amy Rose]]
| + | *[[Tails]] |
| − | *[[Breezie]]
| |
| − | *[[Braveheart|Freedom]]
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| − | *[[Tails]][[Image:SonicMarioParty.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic before Sonic Shuffle. ]] | |
| | *Himself | | *Himself |
| | *Relaxing | | *Relaxing |
| − | *[[Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]] (when he doesn't flex his muscles) | + | *[[Knuckles]] |
| − | *Being a DJ. | + | *Being a DJ |
| − | *[[Masturbation|Masturbating]] | + | *Lots of people (EXCEPT [[Amy Rose]] and [[Robotnik]]) |
| | + | *Masturbating |
| | *Tormenting Dr. Robotnik | | *Tormenting Dr. Robotnik |
| − | *[[Namco]] (especially their ''Soulcalibur'' and ''Klonoa'' games) | + | *[[Penis|Penises]] |
| − | *Tumble-dryers | + | *Splooging on Dr. Robotnik's face. |
| − | *Hogging hedges | + | *Sucking his own [[PENIS|Dick]] |
| − | *Shopping for insurance at Progressive.
| + | *Seeing [[Amy Rose]] [[Die]] |
| − | {{vid|3dK2XLCzXdY}} | + | |
| | + | {{vid|rO-Qh_jUMr8}} |
| | | | |
| | ==Hates== | | ==Hates== |
| − | *Water (unless it's in a glass) | + | *Water |
| − | **Swimming | + | *Swimming |
| | + | *[[Amy Rose]] |
| | *[[Robotnik]] | | *[[Robotnik]] |
| − | *[[Silver the Hedgehog]] | + | *Lots of things he hates |
| − | *[[SNK]] (Even though they collaborated at least once.) | + | *[[Silver]] |
| − | *Chip
| + | *Meecrob |
| − | *[[Sonic Underground]] (He insists that [[DiC]] made it without his permission.) | + | *[[SNK]] |
| − | *Shaymin | + | *Chatty sidekicks (What a [[Hippo|hypo]]crite.) |
| − | *People who think he's [[gay]]. | + | *Gay Porn |
| − | *Most of his fanbase (The psycho ones).
| + | *[[Robotnik|Robotnik's]] [[Penis]] |
| − | *Eggman's copyright laws.
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| | | | |
| − | ==People Who Like Him== | + | ==People who like him== |
| − | [[Image:HEY_SONIC_by_advancedq.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic with one of his fanboys.]] | + | *[[Chad Warden]] |
| − | [[Image:Normal Prevails 079.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic the Hedgehog during his 18th birthday.]] | + | *[[Oogtar]] |
| − | *[[DaftPunkYoshi]] | + | *[[Captain Planet]] |
| − | *[[Mcb1209/TheNintendofan1209|mcb1209]] | + | *[[Gay Luigi]] |
| − | *[[MegaGlassguy]] | + | *[[Bowser Jr]] |
| − | *[[TeeheeSamson]] | + | * [[DaftPunkYoshi]] |
| − | *[[Amy Rose]] | + | * [[Amy Rose]] |
| − | *[[Princess Sally]]
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| − | *[[Sara]]
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| − | *[[Mario]] (sometimes)
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| − | *[[Ninja Coach Z]]
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| − | *[[Fiddlesticks411]]
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| − | *[[MonsterSumoable]]
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| − | *[[Maxillos79]]
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| − | *[[kingplatypus3rd]] (I'm very ashamed to be a part of the fanbase because of how awful it is.)
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| − | *Shahra
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| − | *Sackboy (Loves [[Furry|dressing up like Sonic and his friends.]])
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| − | *[[dreamcastboy99filmz]] (had Sonic as his 1st avatar)
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| − | *Everyone who bought the game and enjoyed it.
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| − | *Cool people
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| − | *Heck, pretty much everybody in general.
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| − | *People who say they hate him.
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| | | | |
| − | ==People Who Hate Him== | + | ==People who hate him== |
| | Sonic believes he is cool and popular, but there are actually quite a bit of people who have expressed disdain for him. Among those who have said they "hate that hedgehog": | | Sonic believes he is cool and popular, but there are actually quite a bit of people who have expressed disdain for him. Among those who have said they "hate that hedgehog": |
| − | *[[Dr. Robotnik]]
| + | |
| − | *[[Dr. Eggman]] | + | [[Image:Classicsonic.jpg|right|160px|Sonic]] |
| − | *Erazor Djinn
| + | |
| − | *Deedee from ''[[Dexter's Laboratory]]'' | + | * [[Robotnik]] |
| − | *[[Shredder]] | + | * Deedee from ''[[Dexter's Laboratory]]'' |
| − | *Grouchy Smurf | + | * [[Launchpad McQuack]] |
| − | *Ozu | + | * [[Shredder]] |
| − | *Mr. Grumpy (duh!) | + | * [[Pinky and the Brain|The Brain]] |
| − | *Mr. Clean | + | * [[Nigel Uno]] |
| − | *[[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] (In a rival hate way) | + | * [[Blightcopy]] |
| − | *[[Mario]] (the rest of the time) | + | * Grouchy Smurf |
| − | *Classic Sonic fans (Again, unpleasable.) | + | * Ozu |
| − | *Adventure nazis (yup, it exists..) | + | * Mr. Grumpy (duh!) |
| − | *[[Solid Snake]] (though he can't explain why)
| + | * Mr. Clean |
| | + | * [[Dr. Doofenshmirtz]] |
| | + | * [[Scott]] |
| | + | * [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] (In a rival hate way) |
| | + | *[[Me]] |
| | + | *[[You]] |
| | + | *[[Mario]] |
| | + | *Classic Sonic fans |
| | + | * Black people |
| | | | |
| | ==Trivia== | | ==Trivia== |
| − | [[Image:16 fanart sonicgottagofast.gif|thumb|left|An artist's common rendition of Sonic.]]
| + | |
| − | {{vid|2jSKyWSvNgg}} | + | {{vid|sYqeMcEs4z0}} |
| − | *He loves tumble dryers. | + | {{vid|HH7gqBReJ3o}} |
| − | *Has a giant ego. [http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d17/CaptainKRool/4-Showoff.jpg No really.] | + | *He loves tumble dryers (see video at right). |
| − | *He is a pyromaniac. | + | *Has a [[The Electric Cheese|giant ego]]. |
| − | *Believes that there's fire where there's smoke. | + | *He is a pyromaniac.(BURN BABY BURN,BURN TO THE GROUND!!!) |
| | + | *Believes that there's fire were there's smoke. |
| | *He's trapped in there. | | *He's trapped in there. |
| − | *He had a reputation of helping kids learn things about life in a short segment called Sonic Sez, although after an absurd confession to Tails, he lost it and decided to instead teach people about how sex and drugs are cool. Sonic Sez is now the most viewed show in the world, topping all of the existing charts, and being downloaded by billions every minute. | + | *He had a reputation of helping kids learn things about life in a short segment called Sonic Sez, although after an absurd confession to Tails (see above) he lost it and decided to instead teach people about how sex and drugs are cool. Sonic Sez is now the most viewed show in the world, topping all of the existing charts, and being downloaded by millions every minute. |
| − | *He is a pervert. | + | *He is a pervert. (yet again, see the other video) |
| − | *Has the power to go Super. | + | *Has the power to go Super with the help of [[Super AIDS]], he is only one of three which can avoid getting killed by it(But using it too much can kill him). |
| − | *He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a [[Steve Urkel|local black kid]] to him. He later got his own voice back though... and then Sega forced him to change it again. Oy. | + | *He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a [[No|local black kid]] to him. |
| − | *Thinks that [[Twilight Sparkle]]'s eyes on fire is natural.
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| | *Has a brother called Awesome Possum. | | *Has a brother called Awesome Possum. |
| | *He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression. | | *He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression. |
| − | [[Image:Sequels1a.jpg|frame|right|The list of sequels Sonic The Hedgehog has done.]] | + | *He was actually quite cool until 1998 when he got redesigned by Yuji Uekawa (look it up) and now looks like a [[retard]]. |
| − | *Lost a lot of weight between the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive and the Sega Dreamcast eras.
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| | *He has a partnership with Tex Avery. | | *He has a partnership with Tex Avery. |
| − | *Did he put a tube in his mouth? LMAO? | + | *Did he put a tube in his mouth? Lmao? |
| − | *He once called a male drug abusing rabbit a [[Lesbian|dyke]]. | + | *Spends All day in his house then he went for a 'drink' which turned to 5 and then 10 now he's drunk and he won't be able to play Sonic Unleashed properly |
| − | *During his time in court, Sonic admitted he only lip synches the [[Sonic Underground]] songs and that it's [[Edd]] who does all the singing for him.
| + | *He once called a male drug abusing rabbit a dyke. |
| | *If he masturbates too much he turns into his Werehog form, as seen in Sonic Unleashed. This form is filled with primal fury and an excess of guilt. | | *If he masturbates too much he turns into his Werehog form, as seen in Sonic Unleashed. This form is filled with primal fury and an excess of guilt. |
| − | *Is now currently working in porno movies to help him get over his problems. (If only he knew that it'd make them even worse.) | + | *Is now currently worling in porno movies to help him get over his problems. (If only he knew.) |
| − | *Was [[one]] of [[three]] video game characters to appear as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade's balloon (the other was <s>Mario</s> [[Pikachu]]). Unfortunately, his balloon hit a pole and popped. However, a new [[Magic Balloon|Balloon]] was made in 2011 for the promotion of Sonic Generations.
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| | *Might be related to [[Don Patch]]. | | *Might be related to [[Don Patch]]. |
| − | *May or may [[no]]t be [[Aladdin]].
| + | [[Category:Gay Characters]] |
| − | *Also once used a [[sword]] for battle against the Black Knight.
| + | [[Category:Pedophiles]] |
| − | *Recently had experience with [[Drug]]-carrying aliens. His fanbase seemed to enjoy it.
| + | [[Category:Retarded Characters]] |
| − | *Thankfully, he decided to [[Yes|go back to 2-D before it's too late for him.]]
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| − | **no one knows if there Will be a Sonic 4 episode 3,much like Half-Life 2:Episode 3
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| − | *Shadow once stole his line. What's funny is that Sonic has never said the line in question throughout his entire life.
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| − | *He believes you can't catch him, at least not until the fall of [[1993|'93]].
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| − | *He cannot play [[baseball]].
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| − | *His past self and current self will meet in the future... think about ''that'', why don't ya.
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| − | *Recently went to Progressive for car insurance. For those wondering, yes, Sonic does own a car. In fact, he owns [[three]] race cars.
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| − | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Sonic the Hedgehog]]
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| − | [[Category:Video Game Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Anime Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Animals]]
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| − | [[Category:Athletes]]
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| − | [[Category:Fighters]]
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| − | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Super Smash Bros.]] | |
| − | [[Category:Race Car Drivers]] | |
| − | [[Category:Sega Characters]] | |
