Notice: We are aware that many of the Chewiki’s images are still broken. We promise: we will try our best to fix it, but we don't guarantee that the fix will be trivial.
Editing Medic
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.
The edit can be undone. Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then save the changes below to finish undoing the edit.
Latest revision | Your text | ||
Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{char}} | {{char}} | ||
− | [[Image:Uselessclass.jpg|thumb|right|A picture of the Medic.]] | + | [[Image: Uselessclass.jpg|thumb|right|A picture of the Medic.]] |
− | [[Image:Medicupdate325.jpg|thumb|right|[[ | + | [[Image:Medicupdate325.jpg|thumb|right|A close-up of the Medic's [[face]].]] |
− | + | ||
− | |||
==Overview== | ==Overview== | ||
− | The medic is the man who you spam the E button with that never shows up to heal you. One of the 9 classes from the first person shooter PC game, [[Team Fortress 2]] | + | The medic is the man who you spam the E button with that never shows up to heal you. One of the 9 classes from the first person shooter PC game, [[Team Fortress 2]]. He originates from the country known as [[German]]y, which automatically makes him a [[Nazi]]. Some weapons used by the doc is the Medigun (healing dying fags), a gun that shoots syringes, and the bone saw that will cut THROUGH YOUR PUNY SPINE. |
− | Though the Medic was originally enlisted in the Peace Corps. | + | Though the Medic was originally enlisted for deployment in the Peace Corps. somewhere in [[Africa]], due to a technicality he found himself deployed with the RED team on ''cp_well'' in the middle of a huge battle, and has been trying to get himself out of it but after befriending [[Heavy Weapons Guy]] he decided to stay with them. |
==Arsenal== | ==Arsenal== | ||
===Basic=== | ===Basic=== | ||
− | *'''Syringe Gun''': Fires syringes full of some [[Die|deadly]] compound, likely cyanide or arsenic. | + | *'''Syringe Gun''': Fires syringes full of some [[Die|deadly]] compound, likely cyanide or arsenic. |
+ | [[Image:Medic_bomb.PNG|thumb|200px|Here we see the Medic seducing the Heavy to have sexual intercourse with him.]] | ||
*'''Medigun''': A wondrous portable device that allows him to heal his allies (and [[Spy|Spies]]), even up to 150% their normal health. Healing allies builds up the medic's "Ubercharge". When fully charged, it can be activated to make the Medic and the ally temporarily invincible, allowing the team opportunity to advance through enemy lines. How this wonderful healing technology works is still in question, but the better question is why these aren't being mass-produced for hospitals? | *'''Medigun''': A wondrous portable device that allows him to heal his allies (and [[Spy|Spies]]), even up to 150% their normal health. Healing allies builds up the medic's "Ubercharge". When fully charged, it can be activated to make the Medic and the ally temporarily invincible, allowing the team opportunity to advance through enemy lines. How this wonderful healing technology works is still in question, but the better question is why these aren't being mass-produced for hospitals? | ||
*'''Bonesaw''': The perfect tool for amputation ''and'' replacing a violin. | *'''Bonesaw''': The perfect tool for amputation ''and'' replacing a violin. | ||
Line 18: | Line 18: | ||
*'''KritzKrieg''': Replacing the ''Medigun'', it heals the same way the Medigun would, though when charged instead of invulnerability it gives the healed ally critical hits throughout the charge. Oh, I get it! Kritz, Crits...yeah. | *'''KritzKrieg''': Replacing the ''Medigun'', it heals the same way the Medigun would, though when charged instead of invulnerability it gives the healed ally critical hits throughout the charge. Oh, I get it! Kritz, Crits...yeah. | ||
*'''Ubersaw''': The perfect tool for amputation ''and'' giving 25% Ubercharge for every cut he makes ''and'' replacing the ''Bonesaw''. | *'''Ubersaw''': The perfect tool for amputation ''and'' giving 25% Ubercharge for every cut he makes ''and'' replacing the ''Bonesaw''. | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
[[Image:NotMedic.jpg|thumb|left|270px|Stephen Colbert dreams of the day he can become medic.]] | [[Image:NotMedic.jpg|thumb|left|270px|Stephen Colbert dreams of the day he can become medic.]] | ||
==Quotes== | ==Quotes== | ||
*"Sie Teleporter goes here!" | *"Sie Teleporter goes here!" | ||
− | *"Prepare for [[you]]r [[ | + | *"Prepare for [[you]]r [[rape|examination!]]" |
− | *"Sie [[Spy]] ist a Double Agent!" | + | *"Sie [[Spy]] ist a Double <s>[[African|Nigger]]</s> Agent!" |
− | *"[[You]] Are... | + | *"[[You]] Are... STUPID!!" |
*"Oops! Das vas not medicine!" | *"Oops! Das vas not medicine!" | ||
*"Danke, dumköpfe." | *"Danke, dumköpfe." | ||
*"Sie healing ist not as rewarding as sie hurting!" | *"Sie healing ist not as rewarding as sie hurting!" | ||
− | |||
*"Vunderbach!" | *"Vunderbach!" | ||
− | |||
− | |||
*"OKTOBERFEST!!!" | *"OKTOBERFEST!!!" | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
==Trivia== | ==Trivia== | ||
− | + | *He's from the town of Stuttgart, which is currently controlled by a [[Dry Bones|reincarnated]] [[Hitler]] and [[Ludwig Von Koopa]]. | |
*Once acted in a German porno involving two puppies. | *Once acted in a German porno involving two puppies. | ||
− | |||
*He has found the cure to the common cold. | *He has found the cure to the common cold. | ||
− | * | + | *Sponsored by the [[Nazi]] government. |
*Is madly in love with the [[Heavy Weapons Guy]]. | *Is madly in love with the [[Heavy Weapons Guy]]. | ||
− | |||
*Once had [[gay]] [[sex]] with the [[Spy]]. The Medic only did it as he thought the Spy was [[Heavy]], until after the incident had occurred. When questioned all the Medic had to say was "The Heavy is a Spy!" | *Once had [[gay]] [[sex]] with the [[Spy]]. The Medic only did it as he thought the Spy was [[Heavy]], until after the incident had occurred. When questioned all the Medic had to say was "The Heavy is a Spy!" | ||
+ | *Was tricked into healing [[Barack Obama]] at one point. | ||
*He likes to thank [[Engineer|hard hatted friends]] for their good work. | *He likes to thank [[Engineer|hard hatted friends]] for their good work. | ||
− | |||
*He was voted homecoming [[King]] in High School and his Queen was [[Zelda]]. | *He was voted homecoming [[King]] in High School and his Queen was [[Zelda]]. | ||
*Has the same voice actor as [[Travis Touchdown]] from the No More Heroes games. | *Has the same voice actor as [[Travis Touchdown]] from the No More Heroes games. | ||
*Enjoys festivals and going to them (His favourite being [[Beer|Oktoberfest]]), with the exception of the ''We-Lose-Once-Again Fest.'' | *Enjoys festivals and going to them (His favourite being [[Beer|Oktoberfest]]), with the exception of the ''We-Lose-Once-Again Fest.'' | ||
*Heavy won't let him do anything. | *Heavy won't let him do anything. | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
[[Category:Team Fortress 2]] | [[Category:Team Fortress 2]] | ||
[[Category:Characters - Geniuses]] | [[Category:Characters - Geniuses]] | ||
Line 87: | Line 49: | ||
[[Category:Characters - German]] | [[Category:Characters - German]] | ||
[[Category:Video Game Characters]] | [[Category:Video Game Characters]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Nazis]] | ||
[[Category:Gay Characters]] | [[Category:Gay Characters]] | ||
[[Category:Insane Characters]] | [[Category:Insane Characters]] | ||
− |