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Yoda

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 22:35, 12 June 2010 by Therangenub (talk | contribs)
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
Sound like "yoga", my name does.
{{#ev:youtube|nltx76Nc5j8|320}}Yoda's own theme.

A short green alien from the Star Wars series, Yoda is. Talking like this he is famous for.

Background

Said to be over 900 years old, Yoda is. Get HUGE senior discounts, he does. Lived so long that he calls people from the 1200's "youngun's", he definately has.

Trivia

  • The reason he talks weirdly is because he has a tumor.
  • He has a green Lightsaber.
  • He lives in the Dagobah system.
  • He's one of the two Jedi left after the end of the sixth star wars.
  • Be in Soulcalibur IV, I got to. A cheap little bastard, I am.
  • Even after 900 years of living, he still hasn't gotten a girlfriend. He's so old and green and wrinkly that he can't even get a hooker. He's considering using force persuade to get someone to have sex with him, although that is rape and therefore immoral and illegal.
  • He didn't get his tumor until he was 880. Before then he could talk normally and had lots of friends. Girls still thought he was creepy though.

Likes

  • Jedi
  • The Force
  • Obi-Wan
  • Anakin Skywalker (Until he turns into Darth Vader.)

Liked By

  • Star Wars nerds
  • Jedi

Dislikes

  • The dark side of the force.
  • Darth Vader
  • People who don't surrender.

Disliked By

  • Sith
  • People who don't like Star Wars.

Quotes

  • "Surrender you must or die you will"
  • "Go to the dark side you must not."
  • "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
  • "No, try not. Do, or do not, there is no try."
  • "Ready, are you? What know you of ready?"
  • "For 800 have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained! A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing.
  • "Hmph. Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things."