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Hyrule

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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What Is It?

Hyrule is the kingdom in the Legend of Zelda series. Rather expansive, it is ruled by the dastardly King Harkinian and is home to various locales including Kakariko Village, Lon Lon Ranch, Hyrule Castle, and Zora's Domain. There are a number of species and tribes within Hyrule; humans, Gorons, Zoras, the Sheikah, and elves Kokiri. Its direct counterpart is the doomed land of Termina.

The Zelda CD-i games only show Hyrule minimally in the opening and ending scenes, instead taking place in neighbouring kingdoms.

History

Hyrule was originally a secret military base in a place formerly known as New Mexico that hid aliens, zombies, the Green Giant, and other things inside. Also known by GLaDOS, Gordon Freeman and related people as Black Mesa. Then one day a retarded King came by and named the base Jerry. This King was then assassinated by King Harkinian and he got a bunch of his medieval knights to invade the base and downgrade the technology. He turned this once thriving military base into a Castle Town of near underpopulation. During this he proceeded to colonize the nearby land. New Mexico was forced to relocate to the deserts of southwest North America, between Arizona and Texas. To this day New Mexico denies these allegations, but everyone knows it's true.

Over the course of centuries Hyrule has been the victim of many natural and man/Ganon-made disasters. These include but are not limited to hostile takeovers, becoming shrouded in darkness, shrouded in twilight, and flooding. Despite these, Hyrule has always pushed through the toughest of times, generally thanks to the efforts of a young hero in a green skirt who keeps getting reincarnated.

Hyrule is also very prone to erosion, and the maps of the land throughout its known existence are very inconsistent.

Hylians

People Who Have Tried to Destroy Hyrule

  • Ganon
  • Agahnim
  • Ganondorf ...Wait, all three of them are the same person.
  • Zant
  • Vaati
  • Dr. Robotnik - Tried to destroy its forests on the Robotnik Express. Distracted after he passed a KFC.
  • Vegeta - But Goku stopped him.
  • Dr. Evil - Threatened to destroy it if he wasn't paid 100 rupees. Though he was paid, Dr. Evil soon discovered that 100 rupees is the equivalent of 10 dollars.
  • Megatron - Detected high traces of energon in the Fairy Fountains. But nobody was fooled by the presence of a gun in Hyrule and they had him burned.