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Ganon
This article is filed under Characters.Ganon's a king! - Link
Ganon is an evil sorcerer from the Zelda games. His name was misspelled as Gannon in the CD-i games, as well as the original NES game. Ganon tried to take over KoriDIE and Gamelon with his evil minions but failed due to Link (and later, Zelda) trapping him in The Pit. Ganon has frequently made deals with Link to "make [his] face the greatest in KoriDIE". This was however mistook by many people, including Link, as this phrase is actually Ganon's way of asking for head. Ganon had an airforce in his lair but was destroyed by Mario when he used kamehameha in Ultimania.
Ganondorf from the N64, GameCube, and Wii Zelda games is his human form. Unlike Link and Zelda, who are fated to endlessly regenerate in order to keep his evil from conquering Hyrule, Ganon is assumed to be a version of the same person that was introduced in Ocarina of Time, remaining Too Angry To Die across thousands of years. Given the relatively dark, ethereal energetic form he takes in the CD-i games, it can be estimated that this captures him in a transitional state that later manifests itself fully in the form of Calamity Ganon in Breath of the Wild. This interregnum Ganon has been subsequently featured on Youchew Trading Card #20.
Skills/Personality[edit]
In the Zelda CD-i games, Ganon is an extremely weak last boss (the weakest last boss in the history of weak), as he dies in one hit when you throw a book at him. Ganon's favorite word is DIE, and he loves to kill things with his thunder attacks (namely, Bolt3), which have a range of about three inches. Other than that, he shoots flaming skulls for some unknown reason, likely having to do with how his father was a drinker and discouraged throwing flaming skulls in the house. He also loves to just say the word DIE, and make a goofy face. It is to be noted that his face is currently the greatest in KoriDIE. It was found out recently that he is a doctor; A news article called him "Dr. Brian Gannon".
Ganon loves to insist that you DIE, and he will be very persistent about it, saying "You must DIE!" over and over again. According to Fat Mario, the proper response is "NO". However, if Ganon says "You must DIE!.....or else you will DIE!", there is no avoiding your fate... unless you call upon the Gods of No and use their power to kill Ganon once and for all. Unfortunently, the chances of success on this is 0.0000000000000001%.
Ganon, like Eric Cartman, thinks it's hilarious that people soil themselves when they DIE. This is one of the reasons he likes death so much.
Ganon has 2 brothers. They are Black Shadow and Big Cheese.
In The King's Epic Adventure timeline, Ganon is cast as Dieman, and is the first adversary whom King Harkinian attempts to make eat his shit. His initial strategy is to have Zelda fight him in his instead, although the most she accomplishes is distracting him for a good several minutes. When he sees through the ruse, he engages the King in immediate combat, and like in the CD-i games, is invulnerable to everything except one item (in this case a machine gun) which when tossed at him destroys him in one hit. King Harkinian inherits the DIEBOLT from him as a power-up, but laments that he forgot to make him eat his shit.
Likes[edit]
- Link
- 1000 Ways To Die
- Death
- Megadeth
- Gwonam
- Seizing the island of Koridai..........OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN...
- Tepig and its evolutions, especially Emboar.
- Gangam Style
Legal Issues[edit]
The Ganon Jr. Case[edit]
Apparently, Ganon and Zelda had sex during the course of Poops being made and resulted in Ganon Jr. Legal custody is being fought over at the hand of Judge Judy. Later, Ganon and Zelda would have another baby, Zeldanon.
Noise Violations[edit]
Ganon is a die hard fan of Dethklok, a death metal band. He likes to play it loudly in his lair. Gwonam who lives in a house nearby often has seizures because of Ganon's loud music. Lawsuits are currently being filed because of this. Ganon is also a big fan of Megadeth a thrash metal band, his favorite song being 99 Ways to Die. He likes to sing along to it which has caused more noise violations.
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Controversy With Sam Pak[edit]
Ganon has had times where he has issues with the Appliance Direct guy. Apparently, he wants to have the power of Wakkie Nu Nu all to himself, but Sam Pak wants him to get one of his special washing machines so that way, he could save money for his retirement. A legal inspection is currently happening for this recurring argument.
See Also[edit]
Quotes[edit]
Ganon DIE!
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Ganon You dare bring light to my lair?! YOU MUST DIE! *(Strikes Zelda with lightning bolts coming from his hands.)
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Ganon NO! Not into The Pit! It BUURNS!
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Ganon Aaarrgh! The chains! Nooooo! You haven't seen the last of me!
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Ganon Your face!
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Ganon You are my prisoner!
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Ganon SILENCE!! Hectan, keep the runt in chains.
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Ganon YOUR FACE WILL DIE AND BURN IN THE PIT!
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Ganon NO!
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Ganon NOOOOO!!!!!
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Ganon In the DARKEST nightmare hour, when not moon nor sun has risen...I take Zelda in my power. I shall KEEP her in my prison!!!
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Ganon You must die..... or else you will die!!!!!!
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Ganon But you're gonna destroy us all! Including yourself!
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Ganon OOH, WHOA!! MY HAND!
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Ganon My cum will burn!
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Ganon Back.
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Ganon I shall rape Zelda!
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Ganon The racist will DIE!
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Ganon Shit is the GRRRREATEST!
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Ganon I will make your face DIE!
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Ganon I shall join you!
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Ganon My SPERRRRMMMM will BURRRRRRNNN your tits!
