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Fred Phelps

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 10:06, 20 March 2014 by NinjaCoachZ (talk | contribs) (The witch is dead.)
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

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He looks pretty ridiculous in that windbreaker.

Name: Fred Waldron Phelps Sr.
Sex: Male
Age: 84
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Self-titled "Hero of justice"
Played By: Himself

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God hates America, vile land of the sodomite damned. It is the most ungrateful and the most arrogant, anti-God nation that ever existed. Amen.

Things Done For Humanity

Let it be known that Fred Phelps has done a great deal for man-kind. He has stopped Ganon repeatedly in the past and has slain many a Vice President. He is also in Terminator: Salvation.

Trivia

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Fred Phelps' arch-nemesis: David Willis.

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  • Every person who dies splits Hell wide open.
  • Jon Stewart's comedian sidekick is WHEEL GATOR.
  • He wants free popcorn.
  • He thinks every problem in America is due to buttsex.
  • Uses homosexuality as a scapegoat to pretty much everything
  • Is sexist because he told his wife to "Get back in the kitchen".
  • His son is NOT Michael Phelps, the nine-time gold medal winner in the Beijing 2008 Olympics.
  • He is banned from entering the United Kingdom.
  • One time, he actually supported the works of Saddam Hussein.
    • Then again, when Saddam was executed, he stated that Saddam was now in Hell.
  • He is certainly going to Hell.
  • He thinks every true Christian should earn a law degree.
  • He also thinks Lady Gaga has a "whore’s forehead". For once, that's something said by him that's actually correct!
  • He's an Eagle Scout as a kid.
  • His mother died when he was six. Mercy kill.
  • He was a drug addict back in the '70s. And he still is now...
  • The Ku Klux Klan thinks he's insane. When you're a racist nutjob and the freaking KKK hate you, you know that you're doing something wrong.
  • He sued Ronald Reagan for appointing a U.S. ambassador to the Vatican, saying this violated separation of church and state.
  • He ran for Governor of Kansas three different times, coming in dead last every single time. Serves him right!
  • He's a movie star! Why aren't the Hollywood sluts coming to him?!
  • Ironically enough, he is now in Hell himself. (PRAISE BE TO YEVON)

Quotes

Fred becoming the Hulk.
  • YOU'RE GONNA EAT YOUR BABIES.
  • THERE WAS OLD BUSH, CRITICIZING CHINA BECAUSE THEY DON'T LET THEIR PEOPLE HAVE FREEDOM OF RELIGION AND SPEECH, AND BRAGGING THAT AMERICA DOES. YEAH.

Used By