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Florida

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A map of modern day Florida.

Florida is a State of the United States.

Geography

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The flag of the very short lived "Republic of West Florida".

Florida is comprised of two distinct parts.

  • The South: Known as the peninsula; is populated mainly with aging Yankees and central American immigrants.
  • The North: Known as the pan handle; is populated mainly with rednecks and escaped prisoners.

Major Cities

History

Florida was once populated solely by indigenous tribes until the 16th century when Spaniards began to colonize the region. Most of the Indians died off because they not could stand being near white guys.

  • 1763: Spain succeeded Florida to the United Kingdom in a treaty.
  • 1781: Spain regains Florida, however, through military conquest.
  • 1810: Florida becomes an independent nation for three months.
  • 1822: It is decided that Florida is a territory of the United States because they are closer.
  • 1822-1844: The United States kills a lot of Indians.
  • 1845: Florida is made a state.
  • 1971: Disney World opened for the first time, beginning efforts by certain people from the Northern parts of the U.S. to totally pussify Florida.
  • 1973: the Miami Dolphins complete their undefeated 1972 season with a Super Bowl win over the Washington Redskins, becoming the (so far) only undefeated team in the history of the modern NFL.
  • 1980: Roughly 125,000 Cubans immigrate to Miami in what is known as the Mariel Boatlift. Of these 125,000 immigrants, about 25,000 have criminal records.

Economy

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bbbw and actress Esther Rolle was Florida from 1974-1979.

Much of Florida's economy is based on tourism, citrus, and space travel. It's economy also consists of trading Magic Drugs to Colombia and Cigars to Cuba. Manufacturing companies assemble cutting edge aerospace products like Time Machines, precious rocket ships that drift off into deep space, Industrial robots, and Atomic Relativity Boots that enable you to circle the planet at the speed of light and enter the Time Warp.

Trivia

  • Florida is also the character name of the female lead in the 1970's sitcom "Good Times".
  • In 1982 Key West seceded from the union and declared war on the United States, whacking a sailor with Cuban bread. The country surrendered shortly after to the sailor and applied for a billion dollars in foreign aid.
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Bugs Bunny expresses his displeasure on Florida's inability to count election ballots.

Poopers From Florida

Other Residents