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Yoda
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.
A short green alien from the Star Wars series, Yoda is. Talking like this he is famous for.
Background
Said to be over 900 years old, Yoda is. Get HUGE senior discounts, he does. Lived so long that he calls people from the 1200's "youngun's", he definately has.
Trivia
- Because he has a tumor is the reason he talks weirdly.
- A green Lightsaber he has.
- In the Dagobah system he lives.
- One of the two Jedi left after the end of the sixth star wars he is.
- Be in Soulcalibur IV, I got to. A cheap little bastard, I am.
- Even after 900 years of living, he still hasn't gotten a girlfriend. He's so old and green and wrinkly that he can't even get a hooker. He's considering using force persuade to get someone to have sex with him, although that is rape and therefore immoral and illegal.
- Not get his tumor until he was 880 he did. Talk normally and had lots of friends he did before then. Thought he was creepy though, girls still did.
- A song dedicated to me by "Weird Al" Yankovic, I have. Called "Yoda", it is. Parodies the song "Lola", it does.
Likes
- Jedi
- The Force
- Obi-Wan
- Anakin Skywalker (Until he turns into Darth Vader.)
Liked By
- Star Wars nerds
- Jedi
Dislikes
- The dark side of the force.
- Darth Vader
- People who don't surrender.
Disliked By
- Sith
- People who don't like Star Wars.
Quotes
- "Surrender you must or die you will"
- "Go to the dark side you must not."
- "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
- "No, try not. Do, or do not, there is no try."
- "Ready, are you? What know you of ready?"
- "For 800 have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained! A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing.
- "Hmph. Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things."