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Yoda
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 10:01, 10 June 2010 by Therangenub (talk | contribs)
This article is filed under Characters.
Yoda is a short green alien from the star wars series. Talking like this he is famous for.
Background
Yoda is said to be over 900 years old, which means he gets HUGE senior discounts. He has llived so long that he calls people from the 1200's "youngun's".
Trivia
- The reason he talks weirdly is because he has a tumor.
- He has a green Lightsaber
- He lives in the Dagobah system.
- He's one of the two Jedi left after the end of the sixth star wars.
- He got to be in Soulcalibur IV. He's a cheap little bastard.
- Even after 900 years of living, he still hasn't gotten a girlfriend. He's so old and green and wrinkly that he can't even get a hooker. He's considering using force persuade to get someone to have sex with him, although that is rape and therefore immoral and illegal.
- He didn't get his tumor until he was 880. Before then he could talk normally and had lots of friends. Girls still thought he was creepy though.
Likes
- Jedi
- The force
- Obi-Wan
- Anakin (Until he turns into Darth Vader)
Liked By
- Star Wars nerds
- Jedi
Dislikes
- The dark side of the force
- Darth Vader
- People who don't surrender
Disliked by
- Sith
- People who don't like Star Wars.
Quotes
- "Surrender you must or die you will"
- "Go to the dark side you must not."
- "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
- Dammit Ellie! Why the hell won't you go to dinner with me??? I'm only 670!!!"
- "Hey! Shut up Windu! You'd be a virgin too if you were short and green!"
