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| | {{CharBox | | {{CharBox |
| | |name=King Harkinian | | |name=King Harkinian |
| − | |image=4fourIV.jpg
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| − | |shows=The Legend of Zelda
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| − | |sex=Male
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| − | |age=54
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| − | |occupation=King of Hyrule
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| − | |cast=
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| − | |nationality=Danish
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| − | }}
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| − | '''King Harkinian''', better known as simply '''The King''', is the noble ruler of the land of [[Hyrule]] and one of the most famous characters in the [[YouTube Poop]] universe. He loves talking to and about [[Mah boi|his boi,]] [[Link]]. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, [[Duke Onkled]]. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of [[Ganon]], but when the king was rescued by [[Zelda]], he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.
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| − |
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| − | ==Early Life==
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| − | [[Image:The-Kings-Parents-1945.jpg|thumb|The King's parents.]]
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| − | Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg.
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| − |
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| − | ==Areas of Expertise==
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| − | *The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, [[dinner]], or certain [[Cum|bodily fluids]].
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| − | *The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill.
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| − | *The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst [[Wario]] Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit.
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| − | *He rocks at Guitar Hero. [[Zelda]] dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.
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| − | *He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but [[Gay Luigi]] keeps interrupting him. [[M. Bison]] thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and [[Glutko]] thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.
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| − | *Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube.
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| − | *It is rumored that he trained [[Xuchilbara]] in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.
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| − | *[[Vorhias]] managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.
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| − | *It is heavily suspected The King is a hard [[BOOZE|drinker]]. He usually drinks when talking about his "[[Link|boy]]", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time.
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| − | *The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in [[Hyrule]]. The other person is [[Link]].
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| − | *The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving.
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| − | *Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]], eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly [[Rick Roll|Rick Rolled]] The King every time he tried to eat.
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| − | *Before he became the King of [[Hyrule]], he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called ''"[[Adolf Hitler|Mein Junge]]."'' He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.
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| − | *He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his [[ship]]. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.
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| − | *The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a [[Triforce]] symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian.
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| − | *During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door.
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| − | * His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting [[Impa]] who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while [[Link|someone]] uses the [[Book of Koridai]]. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals.
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| − | *It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]] get captured during the night by [[Ganon]], and he's always leaving on useless trips to [[Gamelon]] where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still!
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| − | *Over the years, Harkinian has collected many strange and dangerous weapons and vehicles. He owns the "Dinner Blaster", a devastating Weapon of Mass [[DIE|Destruction]], which was made [[illegal]] in the United YTP Islands conference. What the Dinner Blaster does is disputed, some say it shoots [[cheeseburger]]s which make you extremely fat, providing they don't knock your head off. Others say that it can do that and convert into a chaingun. The reason why the effect of the Dinner Blaster is disputed is because Harkinian keeps altering it and making upgraded versions. [[Robotnik]], [[Fat Mario]], [[Gay Luigi]] and [[Link]] have all suffered the effects of the Dinner Blaster. The King also owns many Flying Saucers and armed Zeppelins.
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| − | *The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by [[The Food Loving King|that other king]], until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years.
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| − | {{vid|mUZcqomD_YY}}
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| − | {{vid|Io9hqmP9UTo}}
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| − | [[Image:King Christmas card.JPG|thumb|300px|Season's greetings from the king.]]
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| − | [[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|The King, [[Link]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]
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| − | {{vid|m73qRnCsdFM}}
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| − | [[Image:5292 1165786834126 1511575173 457031 2729346 n.jpg|thumb|right|The King in real life]]
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| − | {{vid|9jQ1k92JnUw}}
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| − | [[Image:STRIVEFOR01245-1.png|frame|The King's eye problem, similar to that of [[Mayor Kravindish]].]]
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| − | [[Image:The-King-driving-his-Desoto.jpg|thumb|right|The King in his 1946 DeSoto.]]
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| − | ===Drug Abuse===
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| − | Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and [[Sonic]] were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of [[Sonic Sez]] as a special guest to say the word weed. We're not sure whether he's cured or not, but he's definately stopped...for now.
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| − |
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| − | ==Likes==
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| − | *[[Dinner]]
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| − | *Food
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| − | *[[Link]]
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| − | *Arguing with [[Zelda]]
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| − | *Torturing [[Duke Onkled]]
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| − | *Dancing with [[Ganon]]
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| − | *Saying "[[My Boy]]"
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| − | *His pet platypus
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| − | *Telling people to [[scrub]] stuff.
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| − | *[[Laughing]]
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| − | *Taking constant trips to Gamelon.
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| − | *Evanescence
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| − | *[[KFC]]
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| − | *His Ship
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| − | *The number [[4]]
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| − | *Playing his Wii.
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| − | *[[No|His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!]]
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| − | *Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work
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| − | *Duke Onkled's Diner
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| − | *[[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]
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| − | *Guitar Hero
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| − | *His cars
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| − | *[[Scatman]]
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| − | *Mad Men (The TV series)
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| − | *[[Whinefeld]] (He thinks it's funny. Strange, considering that [[Robin]] thought that it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen.)
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| − | *Cars (The Movie)
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| − | *Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)
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| − | *Fishing
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| − | *Giving unreasonable demands
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| − |
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| − | ==Dislikes==
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| − | *Not having dinner
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| − | *[[Ganon]]
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| − | *[[Zelda]], however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking [[sex]] from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.
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| − | *[[Snacks]]
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| − | *[[Potato chips]]
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| − | *[[Froggo]]
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| − | *[[Joseph Stalin]], that commie piece of shit!
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| − | *[[Adolf Hitler]],as he wants the King's dinner for the Aryan race.
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| − | *Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)
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| − | *The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon
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| − | *[[Big Cheese]] (See Zeus)
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| − | *Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)
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| − | *His other pet Fluffy.
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| − | *[[Communist|Tra]][[German|bants]] (he says that they are pieces of [[shit]].)
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| − | *[[Willy Wonka]] (he is causing children to not eat their [[dinner]]).
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| − | *Squadala Burger
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| − | *Gwonam's Pizzeria
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| − | *Hamlet
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| − | *Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]])
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| − | *Rock Band ([[Link]] plays it all the time)
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| − | *Rosebud Frozen Peas
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| − | *Blotto Bros. Wine
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| − | *[[I. Fleecem]] (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1957).
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| − | *[[Gwonam]] once showed him 2 girls 1 cup. During it, he puked, and [[Gwonam]] laughed at the king's misery. He sentenced [[Gwonam]] to scrub the floor where he threw up. [[Gwonam]] said it was worth it.
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| − | *Slamming his penis in a door.
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| − |
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| − | ==Quotes==
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|MAH BOI!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Four!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|I wonder what's for dinner?}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|You're finally becoming a man, [[My Boy|boy]].}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|After you [[scrub]] all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMM...how can [[Wii|we]] help?}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Zelda, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Did somebody say "dinner"?}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|ENOUGH!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|My [[ship]] sails in the morning.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|You saved me!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], I'm under attack by the evil forces of [[Ganon]].}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit, what's for my [[fuck]]ing dinner?}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[I]] saved myself!!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], [[I]]'m always talking about [[dinner]].}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Link]], [[I]] ate fish for [[dinner]].}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.}}
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| − | [[Image:Laugh4.gif|frame|right|The King and [[Zelda|his daughter]] after seeing his own article.]]
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk about time to me, boy!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to get dinner!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit about mah boi's face!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|King Harkinian|Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!}}
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| − | {{DEFAULTSORT:King Harkinian}}
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| − | [[Category:CD-i]]
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| − | [[Category:Bisexual Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Video Game Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Fat Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Royal Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Internet Memes]]
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| − | [[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]
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| − | [[Category:Militaristic People]]
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| − | [[Category:Hyrule]]
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| − | [[Category:Powerful Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Kings]]
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| − | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]
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| − | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]
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| − | [[Category:Criminals]]
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