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Editing Star Wars
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− | '' | + | Star Wars is an immensely popular sci-fi/action series created by George Lucas in 1977, and ruined '''forever''' in 1997. It now stands no chance of being good ever again, unless [[you]] erase your mind, then watch the original trilogy on VHS. Regardless, you will wonder why you have a strange need to throw up, so the only service is for all copies of the prequel trilogy to be burned in an inferno. The charred remains will be fed to a pool of frog-like shark creatures, who will then be ejected into space with bombs strapped to their backs so they will never see the light of day. RUST IN PEACE, you bitch! |
− | + | Despite this, the original version was finally re-released on DVD in 2006. | |
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[[Image:Deathstar.jpg|thumb|right|Needs no comment.]] | [[Image:Deathstar.jpg|thumb|right|Needs no comment.]] | ||
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− | =Characters= | + | ==Characters== |
− | * | + | *Luke Skywalker |
− | *[[Darth Vader]] | + | *[[Darth Vader]]/Anakin Skywalker |
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*C-3PO | *C-3PO | ||
*R2-D2 | *R2-D2 | ||
− | *Chancellor Palpatine | + | *The Emperor/Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious |
*Princess Leia | *Princess Leia | ||
*Lando Calrissian | *Lando Calrissian | ||
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*Darth Maul | *Darth Maul | ||
*Qui-Gon Jinn | *Qui-Gon Jinn | ||
− | *<s>[[Dhalsim|Yoga]]</s> | + | *<s>[[Dhalsim|Yoga]]</s> Yoda |
*Admiral Ackbar [[Traps|(IT'S A TRAP!)]] | *Admiral Ackbar [[Traps|(IT'S A TRAP!)]] | ||
*<s>[[Pizza]] the Hutt</s> Jabba the Hutt | *<s>[[Pizza]] the Hutt</s> Jabba the Hutt | ||
− | *Jar-Jar Binks | + | *Jar-Jar <s>[[Shit]]s</s> Binks |
− | =The Movies & Their Plot= | + | ==The Movies & Their Plot== |
− | + | Warning: Spoilers ahead. If you haven't seen them, get off of your [[fat]] [[ass]] and go see them all now, now. | |
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− | ===Episode | + | ===Episode 1: The Phantom Menace=== |
− | Qui-Gon and his apprentice, Obi-Wan, meet a | + | Qui-Gon and his apprentice, Obi-Wan, meet a [[retard]] and a young boy that does Pod Racing, who will eventually become [[Darth Vader]]. Qui-Gon [[die]]s, and Obi-Wan trains Anakin. |
*This movie features probably the one of the most annoying characters to ever be conceived, ''Jar-Jar Binks''. | *This movie features probably the one of the most annoying characters to ever be conceived, ''Jar-Jar Binks''. | ||
− | ===Episode | + | ===Episode 2: Attack of the Clones=== |
− | Too shitty, and | + | Too shitty, and isn't even relevant, so moving on... |
− | ===Episode | + | ===Episode 3: Revenge of the <s>[[Shit]]</s> Sith=== |
− | + | Anakin finally becomes [[Darth Vader]], and tries to kill his former master, Obi-Wan. He fails to do so, and almost [[die]]s, but is rescued by the Emperor. Meanwhile, the Empire is formed. | |
− | ===Episode | + | ===Episode 4: A New Hope=== |
A [[Soldier|farm]] [[Mah Boi|boy]], Luke Skywalker, finds these droids, saves [[the Princess|Princess Leia]], and blows-up the Death Star. Also, Obi-Wan is [[Die|killed]] by [[Darth Vader]]. | A [[Soldier|farm]] [[Mah Boi|boy]], Luke Skywalker, finds these droids, saves [[the Princess|Princess Leia]], and blows-up the Death Star. Also, Obi-Wan is [[Die|killed]] by [[Darth Vader]]. | ||
− | ===Episode | + | ===Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back=== |
− | The Empire finds the Rebel Base on Hoth and captures it, though Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia escape. | + | The Empire finds the Rebel Base on Hoth and captures it, though Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia escape. They all end-up in this city in the clouds, where they are betrayed. Meanwhile, Luke and Vader fight, and Vader wins. Vader then tells Luke that he is his father, and Luke tries to commit [[suicide]]. Also, Han Solo is frozen in Carbonite. |
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− | == | + | ===Episode 6: Return of the Jedi=== |
− | + | They rescue Han Solo, then meet Teddy-bear things. Meanwhile, Lando blows-up the [[2|second]] Death Star. They then celebrate greatly. | |
− | === | + | ===Star Wars: The Clone Wars=== |
− | + | '''You cannot prove that this film exists.''' | |
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− | =Trivia= | + | ==Trivia== |
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*George Lucas ruined them all in 1997, except for the ones that didn't yet exist, which were the prequel movies. | *George Lucas ruined them all in 1997, except for the ones that didn't yet exist, which were the prequel movies. | ||
− | * | + | *Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones sucked. However, they weren't as [[bad]] as the Clone Wars movie that was released after Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith, which some would say is the only good prequel film around. |
*They have one of the largest fanbases. Like most fanbases, it is composed primarily of nerds. | *They have one of the largest fanbases. Like most fanbases, it is composed primarily of nerds. | ||
*It holds the record for most movie [[Money|merchandise]] in [[Histeria|history]]. | *It holds the record for most movie [[Money|merchandise]] in [[Histeria|history]]. | ||
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**As well as multiple [[Coney Island Disco Palace|disco]] remixes of its music, all from Meco. | **As well as multiple [[Coney Island Disco Palace|disco]] remixes of its music, all from Meco. | ||
*Apparently, according to some weird people, [[you]] have to hate some things in order to be[[cum|come]] a true fan of Star Wars. | *Apparently, according to some weird people, [[you]] have to hate some things in order to be[[cum|come]] a true fan of Star Wars. | ||
− | *There are also some awesome Star Wars video games that were released for consoles like the [[Nintendo | + | *There are also some awesome Star Wars video games that were released for consoles like the [[Japan|Fami]][[Nintendo|com]]'s Star Wars game, the NES' The Empire Strikes Back game, [[Nintendo|SNES']] Super Star Wars games, many on the Nintendo 64 and the Playstation, and the current consoles that we have, as well as the 2 arcade Star Wars games from [[the 1980s]], which used colour 3D vector graphics. |
− | *Most of these were made by George Lucas' video gaming company called LucasArts, | + | *Most of these were made by George Lucas' video gaming company called LucasArts, also known as LucasFilm Games, who also made games like [[Aran Ryan|Maniac]] [[Luigi|Mansion]], [[The Irate Gamer|Zombies Ate My Neighbors]], and the [[Tales of Monkey Island]]. |
*They also released a Star Wars [[Cave Christmas|Christmas]] Special. Yep, [[Nostalgia Critic|it was bad.]] So bad in fact, that George Lucas considered it his ''personal shame'' in his entire film career. The Christmas Special was his personal shame over shit like [[Duck Donald|Howard the Duck]] and Jar-Jar Binks. | *They also released a Star Wars [[Cave Christmas|Christmas]] Special. Yep, [[Nostalgia Critic|it was bad.]] So bad in fact, that George Lucas considered it his ''personal shame'' in his entire film career. The Christmas Special was his personal shame over shit like [[Duck Donald|Howard the Duck]] and Jar-Jar Binks. | ||
− | + | *It is the source of [[2]] internet memes: the "IT'S A [[Trap|TRAP]]!" meme, as well as he "[[Do Not Want|DO NOT WANT]]!" meme. | |
− | *It is the source of [[2]] internet memes: the "IT'S A [[Trap|TRAP]]!" meme, as well as | ||
*Both [[Family Guy]] and [[Robot Chicken]] have done parodies of it. Multiple, episode-length parodies. | *Both [[Family Guy]] and [[Robot Chicken]] have done parodies of it. Multiple, episode-length parodies. | ||
*Not to be confused with [[Galvatron|Star Trek]], or Spaceballs. | *Not to be confused with [[Galvatron|Star Trek]], or Spaceballs. | ||
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[[Category: Sources - Produced in 1977]] | [[Category: Sources - Produced in 1977]] | ||
[[Category: Sources - Produced in 1980]] | [[Category: Sources - Produced in 1980]] | ||
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[[Category: Sources - Produced in 2002]] | [[Category: Sources - Produced in 2002]] | ||
[[Category: Sources - Produced in 2005]] | [[Category: Sources - Produced in 2005]] | ||
− | [[Category: Sources - Produced in | + | [[Category: Sources - Produced in 2008]] |
[[Category: Sources - Movies]] | [[Category: Sources - Movies]] | ||
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[[Category: Transformers]] | [[Category: Transformers]] |