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| − | |name=Ganon
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| − | |image=Ganons lair37.jpg
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| − | |caption=Ganon's IQ lowers dramatically in this picture. It practically [[DIE]]D.
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| − | |shows=The Legend of Zelda
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| − | |sex=Male
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| − | |dob={{Birth|-8000}}
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| − | |occupation=Evil Sorcerer/Emperor/Demon Thief
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| − | |cast=[[Donkey Kong|Takashi Nagasako]], Hironori Miyata, Len Carlson, Mark Berry
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| − | |nationality=Gerudo
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| − | }}
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| − | [[image:Your_face.gif|thumb|Ganon saying, "Your Face!"]]
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| − | [[Image:Firestone_lake13.jpg|thumb|right|Ganon, preparing to eat the cameraman.]]
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| − | <I>Ganon's a king! - [[Link]]</I>
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| − | Ganon is an evil sorcerer from the [[Zelda]] games. His name was misspelled as Gannon in the [[CD-i]] games, as well as the original [[Nintendo|NES game]]. Ganon tried to take over KoriDIE and [[Gamelon]] with his evil minions but failed due to [[Link]] (and later, Zelda) trapping him in [[The Pit]]. Ganon has frequently made deals with Link to "make [his] face the greatest in Kori[[DIE]]". This was however mistook by many people, including Link, as this phrase is actually Ganon's way of asking for head. Ganon had an airforce in his lair but was destroyed by Mario when he used [[Goku|kamehameha]] in Ultimania.
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| − | [[Ganondorf]] from the N64, GameCube, and [[Wii]] Zelda games is his human form. Unlike [[Link]] and [[Zelda]], who are fated to endlessly regenerate in order to keep his evil from conquering [[Hyrule]], Ganon is assumed to be a version of the same person that was introduced in Ocarina of Time, remaining Too Angry To [[Die]] across thousands of years. Given the relatively dark, ethereal energetic form he takes in the CD-i games, it can be estimated that this captures him in a transitional state that later manifests itself fully in the form of Calamity Ganon in ''Breath of the Wild''. This interregnum Ganon has been subsequently featured on [[Youchew Trading Cards|Youchew Trading Card]] #20.
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| | + | [[Image:Ganons lair37.jpg|thumb|Ganon's IQ lowers dramatically in this picture. It practically [[DIE]]D.]] [[image:Your_face.gif|thumb|Ganon saying, "Your Face!"]] |
| | + | Ganon is an evil sorcerer from the [[Zelda]] games. His name was misspelled as Gannon in the [[CD-i]] games because the developers couldn't read or write. Ganon tried to take over KoriDIE and [[Gamelon]] with his evil minions but failed due to [[Link]] (and later, Zelda) trapping him in the "[[pit]]". Ganon has frequently made deals with Link to "make [his] face the greatest in KoriDIE". This was however mistook by many people, including Link, as this phrase is actually Ganon's way of asking for head. Ganon had an airforce in his lair but was destroyed by Mario when he used kamehameha in Ultimania. |
| | ==Skills/Personality== | | ==Skills/Personality== |
| − | In the Zelda CD-i games, Ganon is an extremely weak last boss (the weakest last boss in the history of weak), as he dies in one hit when you throw a book at him. Ganon's favorite word is [[DIE]], and he loves to kill things with his thunder attacks (namely, [[Bolt3]]), which have a range of about three inches. Other than that, he shoots flaming skulls for some unknown reason, likely having to do with how his father was a drinker and discouraged throwing flaming skulls in the house. He also loves to just say the word DIE, and make a goofy face. It is to be noted that his face is currently the greatest in KoriDIE. It was found out recently that he is a doctor; A news article called him "Dr. Brian Gannon".
| + | Ganon is an extremely weak last boss (the weakest last boss in the history of weak), as he dies in one hit when you throw a book at him. Ganon's favorite word is [[DIE]], and he loves to kill things with his thunder attacks (namely, [[Bolt3]]), and he also loves to just say the word DIE, and make a [[Retard|retarded]] face. It is to be noted that his face is currently the greatest in KoriDIE. It was found out recently that he is a doctor; A news article called him "Dr. Brian Gannon". |
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| − | Ganon loves to insist that you DIE, and he will be very persistent about it, saying "You must DIE!" over and over again. According to Fat Mario, the proper response is "NO". However, if Ganon says "You must DIE!.....or else you will DIE!", there is no avoiding your fate... unless you call upon the Gods of [[No]] and use their power to kill Ganon once and for all. Unfortunently, the chances of success on this is 0.0000000000000001%.
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| − | Ganon, like Eric Cartman, thinks it's hilarious that people soil themselves when they DIE. This is one of the reasons he likes death so much.
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| − | Ganon has 2 brothers. They are [[Black Shadow]] and [[Big Cheese]].
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| − | In The King's Epic Adventure timeline, Ganon is cast as '''Dieman''', and is the first adversary whom King Harkinian attempts to make eat his shit. His initial strategy is to have Zelda fight him in his instead, although the most she accomplishes is distracting him for a good several minutes. When he sees through the ruse, he engages the King in immediate combat, and like in the CD-i games, is invulnerable to everything except one item (in this case a machine gun) which when tossed at him destroys him in one hit. King Harkinian inherits the DIEBOLT from him as a power-up, but laments that he forgot to make him eat his shit.
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| − | [[Image:Sexy.jpg|frame|right|One of Ganon's better known uncles.]]
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| − | | |
| − | == Likes ==
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| − | *Link
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| − | *1000 Ways To Die
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| − | *[[Death]]
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| − | *[[Megadeth]]
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| − | *[[Gwonam]]
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| − | *Seizing the island of [[Koridai]]..........OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN...
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| − | *[[Tepig]] and its evolutions, especially Emboar.
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| − | *Gangam Style
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| | ==Legal Issues== | | ==Legal Issues== |
| | ====The Ganon Jr. Case==== | | ====The Ganon Jr. Case==== |
| − | Apparently, Ganon and [[Pregnant Zelda|Zelda]] had sex during the course of Poops being made and resulted in [[Ganon Jr.]] Legal custody is being fought over at the hand of Judge Judy. Later, Ganon and Zelda would have another baby, Zeldanon. | + | Apparently, Ganon and [[Pregnant Zelda|Zelda]] had sex during the course of Poops being made and resulted in [[Ganon Jr.]] Legal custody is being fought over at the hand of Judge Judy. |
| | + | ====Noise Violations==== |
| | + | Ganon is a die hard fan of [[Dethklok]], a death metal band. He likes to play it loudly in his lair. [[Gwonam]] who lives in a house nearby often has seizures because of Ganon's loud music. Lawsuits are currently being filed because of this. |
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| | + | ===Molestation=== |
| | + | Ganon loves to touch [[YOUR FACE]]. Which apparently, got him arrested. |
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| − | ====Noise Violations====
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| − | Ganon is a die hard fan of [[Dethklok]], a death metal band. He likes to play it loudly in his lair. [[Gwonam]] who lives in a house nearby often has seizures because of Ganon's loud music. Lawsuits are currently being filed because of this. Ganon is also a big fan of Megadeth a thrash metal band, his favorite song being 99 Ways to Die. He likes to sing along to it which has caused more noise violations.
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| − | {{vid|7PgZR40WhPA}}
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| − | ====Controversy With [[Sam Pak]]====
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| − | Ganon has had times where he has issues with the Appliance Direct guy. Apparently, he wants to have the power of [[Wakkie Nu Nu]] all to himself, but Sam Pak wants him to get one of his special washing machines so that way, he could save money for his retirement. A legal inspection is currently happening for this recurring argument.
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| − | [[Image:Ganons lair35.jpg|thumb|right|Ganon when horny.]]
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| − | {{VidCaption|6Jxw_xae0Cc|Ganon in Giygas form.}}
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| − | [[Image:Picture14-4.png|frame|What does Ganon have to say to the deaf?]]
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| − | ==See Also==
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| − | *[[Ganondorf]] (The human [[form|version]] of Ganon that's seen much more often in video games than him.)
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| | [[Category:CD-i]] | | [[Category:CD-i]] |
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| − | ==Quotes==
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|DIE!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|Join me, [[Link]], and I will make your face the gglrrreatest in [[Koridai]], or else you will DIIIE!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|You dare bring light to my lair?! YOU MUST DIE! *(Strikes [[Zelda]] with lightning bolts [[Cum|coming]] from his hands.)}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|NO! Not into [[The Pit]]! It BUURNS!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|Aaarrgh! The chains! Nooooo! [[You]] haven't seen the last of me!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|Your face!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|You are my prisoner!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|SILENCE!! [[Hektad|Hectan]], keep the runt in chains.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|YOUR FACE WILL DIE AND BURN IN THE PIT!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|NO!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|NOOOOO!!!!!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|In the DARKEST nightmare hour, when not [[moon]] nor sun has risen...I take [[Zelda]] in my power. I shall KEEP her in my prison!!!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|You must die..... or else you will die!!!!!!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|But [[Majora's Mask|you're]] gonna destroy us all! Including yourself!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|OOH, WHOA!! MY HAND!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|My [[cum]] will burn!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|Back.}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|I shall rape Zelda!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|The racist will DIE!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|Shit is the GRRRREATEST!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|I will make your face DIE!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|I shall join you!}}
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| − | {{poopquote|Ganon|My [[cum|SPERRRRMMMM]] will BURRRRRRNNN your [[boobs|tits]]!}}
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| − | [[Category:Evil Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Video Game Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Africans]]
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| − | [[Category:Fat Characters]]
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| − | [[Category:Militaristic People]]
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| − | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]
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| − | [[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]
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| − | [[Category:Nintendo Characters]]
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