https://chewiki.youchew.net/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=SnodgrassChewiki Archive - YouChew - User contributions [en]2026-04-03T18:31:39ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.35.5https://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=Gordon_Freeman&diff=101735Gordon Freeman2011-07-06T15:49:48Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
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<div>{{char}}<br />
[[Image:Freemanv1nw4.jpg|thumb|right|Gordon in his HEV suit.]]<br />
[[Image:Gravitygun-halflife2.jpg|thumb|Gordon Freeman's most kickass weapon ever conceived; the Gravity Gun! It gets even more kickass when it turns blue!]]<br />
[[Image:JohnFreemanIsMyHomeboy.JPG|thumb|right|Someone has his brother John as a "homeboy."]]<br />
Gordon Freeman is the VERY smart protagonist in The videogame series Half Life. He previously worked at a science facility known as [[Africans|Black]] Mesa before they managed to rip a dimensional hole through the planet. Today he works as a puppet of the [[G-Man]], and in exchange for his [[Sex|services]] is forced with the daunting task of saving the human race from extinction.<br />
== The HEV suit == <br />
The HEV suit is Mama Luigi's ultimate weapon, it is a suit that spreads aids and deflects lulz. Only few have been able to destroy the HEV suit, including [[Fat Mario]] and the Heavy Weapons Guy, both of which were killed shortly afterwards.<br />
<br />
== His crowbar ==<br />
Gordon first finds his crowbar in [[Hyrule]] during the Black Mesa incident. Apparently Gordon used it to kill a fatass alien called the [[Heavy Weapons Guy]].<br />
<br />
==Inability to talk==<br />
Gordan Freeman has never talk his entire life, due to an incident involving [[AIDS]], and [[Anime Luigi]]. The story is far too graphic for this wiki, so it won't be told...<br />
<br />
== Liked By ==<br />
*Half-Life Fans<br />
*His brother, John Freeman<br />
<br />
== Disliked By ==<br />
*The Combine<br />
*Fags<br />
*[[Master Chief]]<br />
*[[Halo]]-tards & Gears of War-tards who think that those two series are the only good series' in the first place.<br />
*Gordon Frohman<br />
<br />
== Quotes ==<br />
*UI have discovered new radoactive isatope but it is so vollatile that it does not have a half-life but quarter-life so we must observe with hasty<br />
*OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM!<br />
*UIt is been stoled!<br />
*[[NO]], NOT ALL OF [[Hank Hill|Dallas!]]<br />
*Ew must escapes out of here fastly<br />
*This is Gordon Freeman how do we contain teh meltdown? I know!<br />
*Hooray I scucceeded at winning the mission<br />
*its time to end this ones and for all!<br />
*you should come here earlier next time<br />
*NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!<br />
*What's the status of the fast lane?<br />
<br />
== Trivia ==<br />
*He is excellent with guns somehow, despite having little experience prior to alien invasion.<br />
*He blew up a casserole. I'm not sure if that's cool or stupid, but he did do it.<br />
{{VidCaption|fOvglodUIcA|Ew must escapes out of here fastly!}}<br />
*His friend [[Barney Calhoun|Barney]] does owe him a beer. <br />
*He killed [[Barney Calhoun|Barney]] for not giving him a beer.<br />
*Was co-inventor of the Gravity Gun, which many have proclaimed to be the greatest invention ever conceived.<br />
*According to a series of [[fanfiction]]s he has a brother named John Freeman and a nephew named Henry Freeman, and after his supposed death in the fanfic becomes revived first into a zombie goast by Headcrab, and then after a timeskip by the Combine and gains the alias [[Africans|"Dark Man"]], who John promises will make him suffar.<br />
*Also according to a [[fanfiction]] had a <s>co-worker</s> cow-orker named [[Engineer|Jimm]], who later gets blowed to smitheroons by a fierce wave of radiation.<br />
*He has the best fanfiction ever called Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences and best spin-off called Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction.<br />
**Gordon Freeman is '''not''' my homeboy!<br />
*He was the "someons" who wrote "u shudnt come here" at Ravenholm, which was right next to Ravenholdm, the home of the pants being dead.<br />
*Gordon Freeman is now these hands...<br />
*One time, he pushed quarters into World War II. What is this I don't even.<br />
[[Category:Characters - Male]]<br />
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Geniuses]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=Encyclop%E6dia_Dramatica&diff=101734Encyclop�dia Dramatica2011-07-06T15:47:33Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
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<div>[[Image:Ed_logo.png|frame|Their official logo.]]<br />
<I>In [[Anonymous|lulz,]] we trust. — Encyclopædia Dramatica's official site motto.</I><br />
<br />
<I>Where facts [[die]], and stereotypes lie. - Some guy from Urban Dictionary about Encyclopædia Dramatica.</I><br />
<br />
<I>People get their [[shit]]s and giggles out of this? - [[Anonymous|Some unknown guy.]]</I><br />
<br />
<i>You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. - [[Star Wars|Obi-Wan Kenobi]]</i><br />
<br />
'''''Encyclopædia Dramatica''''' (or '''''Encyclopedia Dramatica''''' as it's sometimes referred to) is a satirical Wiki with ''lots'' of shock content, and is probably the biggest shock site on the web. Seriously, it's what you get when you mix the shock website ''Last Measure'' with Goatse and the /b/ board of [[4chan]] in a blender, then take the blender and [[Chuck Norris|chuck]] it into a dumpster, then throw the dumpster into a radioactive waste plant. Really.<br />
<br />
==What It Contains==<br />
[[Image:Ae-24-bluebackground.png|thumb|right|Say their logo as AYYYYYEEE!!! Hell, just call them that period. [[wrong|They'll love it!]]]]<br />
Encyclopædia Dramatica contains pornographic ads, the dreadful pop-ups that manage to get past the best of pop-up blockers, defamatory content, various other shock images, and vast amounts of trolls who actually find the site funny. Prolonged exposure to the site will easily melt your brain and fry your eyelids off. Also, this site may give you a virus,<sup>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZE9aPl0AJ0]</sup> so view at your own risk!<br />
<br />
===ED Vs. Chewiki===<br />
Some people also claim that the Chewiki is basically like Encyclopædia Dramatica. Yet the Chewiki actually contains information presented in our [[good]] humorous way, while ED only contains ''nonsense'' presented in their so-called "humorous way." Plus, ED is a troll site and contains actual pornography and shock content as mentioned above. Encyclopædia Dramatica also focuses on [[:Category:Internet Memes|memes]] and belittling them, while the Chewiki focuses ''mainly'' on [[Youtube Poop]]. There ''are'' some very slight similarities; but other then that, the two sites are nothing alike, and don't plan to be...at all.<br />
<br />
==Any Positives Here?==<br />
<s>None at all</s>. Well, they do tell you the history of some of the internet's special memes quite well (most of the time, at least). Then again, you could go to [[Know Your Meme]] and get most of the same results there. Also, they give a [[good]] type of history towards Chris-Chan and other people like him (though that's not without using stuff like "pedo-forks" and "[[ass|butt]]hurt"). Another sort of positive thing is that they don't support having [[no|sex with babies]] (although you sort of wonder who in the world would do that). Other than that, there's barely anything redeemable about it at all.<br />
<br />
==Things That ED Members Like==<br />
Contrary to popular belief, ED does NOT hate everything. Among the few things that they like: <br />
[[Image:edFa.JPG|thumb|Encyclopædia Dramatica's reaction to their Chewiki article.]]<br />
*[[Pingas]]<br />
*[[Animaniacs]]<br />
*[[Gaston]]<br />
*[[Fortran]]<br />
*[[Billy Mays]]<br />
*The [[Pittsburgh]] [[American Football|Steelers]]<br />
*The first episode of Saul & The Mole Men<br />
*[[Stephen Colbert]]<br />
*[[SuperJail!]]<br />
*[[The Boondocks]], especially the two-time villian and one-time narrator Colonel Stinkmeaner.<br />
*Louis C.K.<br />
*John Locke from Lost<br />
*[[Abraham Lincoln]]<br />
*William Tecumsah Sherman<br />
*The Roman Empire<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8Nf1MK7lts&feature=related R.Lee Ermey] (WHAT IS YOU MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMB[[Nuts|NUTS]]!?)<br />
*[[Dragonforce]]<br />
*Blastoise<br />
*[[Captain Falcon]]<br />
*Squidbillies<br />
*Pirates<br />
*Monkey Island<br />
*[[Futurama]]<br />
*The [[Canada|Montreal]] [[Baseball|Expos]]<br />
*Wrex from Mass Effect<br />
*[[Star Fox]] 64<br />
**[[Star Fox]] Assault<br />
*[[Bacon]]<br />
*[[Eggs]]<br />
*[[Gary Oak]]<br />
*[[:Category:Cats|Cats]]<br />
*[[Tsutarja]] (Smugleaf)<br />
<br />
==Criticism==<br />
Encyclopedia Dramatica has been criticised many times for various reasons, among which are:<br />
*[[Pornography]] <s>[[Spy|starring your mother]].</s><br />
*[[AIDS|Viruses]]<br />
*The lack of a disclaimer.<br />
*[[Racism]]<br />
*[[Nazi|Religious intolerance]].<br />
*Hatred of [[furries]] (even using it as an insult).<br />
*Trolling, and the promotion of it.<br />
*Jokes in horrible taste (especially jokes about [[New York|September]] [[Pennsylvania|11th]]).<br />
*Overall, simple [[Retard|stupidity.]]<br />
<br />
In addition, it has been criticised by the [[Australia]]n government for its original article on aborigines, which was deemed as racist, and was actually blocked on Australian servers.<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
{{VidCaption|oL23uWMqCXY|PCBIZNUSS doing a website review about Encyclopædia Dramatica}}<br />
*Many people of different groups have tried to shut it down.<br />
**One time, someone actually succeeded in shutting it down through [[Anonymous|hacking]]. Unfortunately, the site was brought back.<br />
**In May of 2011, ED was finally shut down once and [[4|for]] all.<br />
*One time, [[the Amazing Athiest]] tried to sue Encyclopædia Dramatica for using some of his artwork that he recalled to him that he wasn't given permission to use his artwork on that site. However, he failed when he decided to remove his original video towards them [[4]] hours later due to issues not relating ED at all.<br />
*Did you know that they insult ''some'' of the YouTube Poopers in that website? It's true, and it's not of insults that come from other YouTube Poopers (like in the [[kinghomer45]] incident) either.<br />
**YouChew members who discover their own selves being mentioned get a thread and a few pages of material, even when they know it's going to happen anyways. Some users even wonder why we should care. In fact why ''should'' you care about this bit of trivia here?<br />
*Do NOT, under any circumstances, go on the "Offended" page or the "Kittens" page. Just don't, OK? DON'T!<br />
*Do not mistake the so-called "humour" of ED for black humour, as there is nothing funny about pages of immature [[sex]] and [[Nazi|hate]] jokes.<br />
*They are actually heartless enough to make fun of [[New York|September]] [[Pennsylvania|11th]]. Now that is pushing it too far, especially "[[No|for the lulz]]".<br />
*[[The Nostalgia Critic]] thinks that the only troll that's worse than the ones found on Encyclopædia Dramatica is the one that's found in Central Park, [[New York]].<br />
[[Category:Dead]]<br />
<br />
==[[Link]]s==<br />
*[http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/ WARNING: Extremely NSFW and contains pictures and articles that should've never seen the light of day. Have your AdBlock and up-to-date virus-scanners ready.]<br />
**[http://whatport80.com/ The Official Portal of ED, ''WhatPort80'']<br />
[[Category:Websites]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Dicks]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=Furry&diff=94312Furry2010-10-19T21:13:57Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>==Definition==<br />
[[Image:IFox4.jpg|thumb|right|[[Fox McCloud]], an example of a '''furry'''.]]<br />
A furry is an anthropomorphic (humanoid) animal character. "Furry" can also refer to fans of such characters, who are members of the furry fandom. Despite being called furries, a furry does not necessarily have to have fur. A furry can be any kind of animal, as long as it has humanoid attributes. For instance, an anthropomorphic reptile is referred to as a ''scaly.''<br />
<br />
====Furries As Anthro Characters====<br />
Furries originally started out as fictional characters in cartoons, comics, and Egyptian mythology. A furry is an animal character that walks on two legs, talks, and is basically just a human with funky ears, a tail, and overgrown body hair. Ironically, some of these "furries" don't even have fur. Go figure.<br />
<br />
Examples:<br />
*[[Dr. Rabbit]]<br />
*Every character in [[Star Fox]], [[Samurai Pizza Cats]], and the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series, as well as the movie [[Robin Hood (movie)|Robin Hood]] (aside from [[Robotnik]] and [[Dr. Eggman]]'s families, plus other incidentals.)<br />
*Klonoa<br />
*[[Bowser]] and his children.<br />
*[[King Dedede]] ([[Maybe]]...)<br />
*[[Escargoon]]<br />
*[[Darkwing Duck]]<br />
*[[Donald Duck]]<br />
*[[Mickey Mouse]]<br />
**Actually, it's an in-proportionate ammount of [[Disney]] characters.<br />
*The Cheetahmen (from [[Anti-Uctions|Action 52]])<br />
[[Image:OfAllTime.jpg|thumb|right|[[Kanye West]] thinks that [[Krystal]]'s [[no]]t the best furries' [[sex]] [[no|plaything]] of all time.]]<br />
<br />
===Furries As A Fandom===<br />
Members of the Furry Fandom can have varying ammounts of interest in Furry characters. Some merely like to watch cartoons starring anthro characters, others create furry art, and still others go to the extremes of going to conventions and wearing fursuits.<br />
<br />
===Furries As A Fetish===<br />
Some people like to look at furry porn and somehow have sex in their fursuits with other furries. The act of furry sex is known as yiffing, and pornographic material featuring furries is known as yiff. Someone who gets off on yiff is known as a Furry Fetishist, a Furvert, or a Furfag.<br />
<br />
==YTP Characters That Are Furfags==<br />
*[[Dr. Robotnik]], as evidenced by his unhealthy obsession with a certain blue hedgehog, and the fact that he surrounds himself with [[Scratch|anthro]] [[sex]] [[Grounder|droids.]]<br />
*[[Dexter]]<br />
*[[Mario]]<br />
*[[Luigi]]<br />
*[[Snively]]<br />
*[[Edd]] (Rumored)<br />
*The Thundercats<br />
*[[Strong Bad]] (He wanted to marry a female Swedish puppy.)<br />
[[Image:I AM KNUCKLES.jpg|thumb|A furry approaches.]]<br />
[[Image:Samurai Fox.jpg|thumb|right|A <i>real</i> furry approaches.]]<br />
<br />
==Youtube Poopers Who Are Furries==<br />
[[Yes]], they do exist. Deal with it.<br />
*[[MASTERFURRYX]] (Obviously.)<br />
*[[Squirrelous]]<br />
*[[CommanderGwonam]] ([[Maybe]]...)<br />
*[[MrDrunkenFox]]<br />
*[[MeiAIDS]]<br />
*[[Ophios]] (Featherie)<br />
*[[SergeantBacon]]<br />
*WOLFIE THE FOX<br />
*[[Robotcomics]]<br />
*[[TheGrim800]]<br />
*meinegar<br />
*[[igiulamam]]<br />
*[[Yenehckcid]] (Fursuiter)<br />
*Malkmusian<br />
*[[Zevifa]]<br />
*punk080808 (aka Chimæra)<br />
*[[GenghisKhan44]]<br />
*[[ChibsogItchy]]<br />
*[[IchigoMontgomery]]<br />
*[[vvaluigi]]<br />
*[[InnocentDarkside]]<br />
*[[TheChutley]]<br />
*[[MycroProcessor]]<br />
*[[RobochaoXX]]<br />
*[[YTPnews1|YTPnews1/MustangSally72]] ([[Maybe]]...[[Yes|after all, he has plenty of skunks in his life.]])<br />
*[[app129alt]] (self-hating furry)<br />
<br />
===Chewiki Users Who Are Furries===<br />
Yes, just like YouTube Poopers, they can exist. Deal with it.<br />
*[[MustangSally72]]<br />
*[[User:Yoshit|Yoshit]]<br />
*[[User:Odairu86|Odairu86]]<br />
*[[User Talk:Crazy Luigi|Crazy Luigi]] (Even though he insists otherwise<!--As in even though he likes some furry things (like the art and a certain webcomic (thanks MustangSally)), he doesn't usually like talking about them.-->.)<br />
<br />
==Disliked By==<br />
[[Image:100m.jpg|thumb|right|[[4chan]]ners didn't like seeing this around for post 100,000,000.]]<br />
*[[Encyclopædia Dramatica]]<br />
*[[Elmer Fudd|Hunt]][[Gaston|ers]]<br />
*[[NinjaCoachZ]] (Just the more obsessive fans, furry webcomics, and [[hentai]]; he doesn't mind anthropomorphic characters.)<br />
*[[HMTcomp]] (They're always hiding something suspicious.)<br />
*[[GameCubeHero]] (Or, he could just be trolling like he always does these days. Who knows.)<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
*Furries, like [[Star Wars|many]] [[::Category:Politicians|other]] [[:Category:Comic Book Characters|things]], have their own conventions, the largest being Anthrocon in [[Pittsburgh]].<br />
*[[Claude Frollo]] believes that [[God]] made furries so much stronger than a ([[no]]rmal) man.<br />
**He also thinks that it was God's plan to make furries, such as [[Krystal]], be[[cum|come]] [[sex]]y towards people.<br />
*Furries ended up stealing the 100,000,000th post on [[4chan]] that was originally set for mother [[Britain]].<br />
[[Category:YouTube Poop One-liners]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=King_Harkinian&diff=94233King Harkinian2010-10-18T21:04:44Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
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<div>{{char}}<br />
{{featured}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=King Harkinian<br />
|image=4fourIV.jpg<br />
|shows=The Legend of Zelda<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=54<br />
|occupation=King of Hyrule<br />
|cast=<br />
|nationality=Danish<br />
}}<br />
'''King Harkinian''', better known as simply '''The King''', is the noble ruler of the land of [[Hyrule]] and one of the most famous characters in the [[YouTube Poop]] universe. He loves talking to and about [[Mah boi|his boi,]] [[Link]]. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, [[Duke Onkled]]. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of [[Ganon]], but when the king was rescued by [[Zelda]], he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.<br />
<br />
==Early Life==<br />
[[Image:The-Kings-Parents-1945.jpg|thumb|The King's parents.]]<br />
Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg.<br />
<br />
==Areas of Expertise==<br />
*The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, [[dinner]], or certain [[Cum|bodily fluids]].<br />
*The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill.<br />
*The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst [[Wario]] Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit.<br />
*He rocks at Guitar Hero. [[Zelda]] dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.<br />
*He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but [[Gay Luigi]] keeps interrupting him. [[M. Bison]] thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and [[Glutko]] thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.<br />
*Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube.<br />
*It is rumored that he trained [[Xuchilbara]] in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.<br />
*[[Vorhias]] managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.<br />
*It is heavily suspected The King is a hard [[BOOZE|drinker]]. He usually drinks when talking about his "[[Link|boy]]", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time. <br />
*The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in [[Hyrule]]. The other person is [[Link]].<br />
*The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving.<br />
*Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]], eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly [[Rick Roll|Rick Rolled]] The King every time he tried to eat.<br />
*Before he became the King of [[Hyrule]], he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called ''"[[Adolf Hitler|Mein Junge]]."'' He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.<br />
*He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his [[ship]]. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.<br />
*The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a [[Triforce]] symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian. <br />
*During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door.<br />
* His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting [[Impa]] who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while [[Link|someone]] uses the [[Book of Koridai]]. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals. <br />
*It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]] get captured during the night by [[Ganon]], and he's always leaving on useless trips to [[Gamelon]] where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still!<br />
*Over the years, Harkinian has collected many strange and dangerous weapons and vehicles. He owns the "Dinner Blaster", a devastating Weapon of Mass [[DIE|Destruction]], which was made [[illegal]] in the United YTP Islands conference. What the Dinner Blaster does is disputed, some say it shoots [[cheeseburger]]s which make you extremely fat, providing they don't knock your head off. Others say that it can do that and convert into a chaingun. The reason why the effect of the Dinner Blaster is disputed is because Harkinian keeps altering it and making upgraded versions. [[Robotnik]], [[Fat Mario]], [[Gay Luigi]] and [[Link]] have all suffered the effects of the Dinner Blaster. The King also owns many Flying Saucers and armed Zeppelins.<br />
*The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by [[The Food Loving King|that other king]], until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years. <br />
{{vid|mUZcqomD_YY}}<br />
{{vid|Io9hqmP9UTo}}<br />
[[Image:King Christmas card.JPG|thumb|300px|Season's greetings from the king.]]<br />
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|The King, [[Link]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]<br />
{{vid|m73qRnCsdFM}}<br />
[[Image:5292 1165786834126 1511575173 457031 2729346 n.jpg|thumb|right|The King in real life]]<br />
{{vid|9jQ1k92JnUw}}<br />
[[Image:STRIVEFOR01245-1.png|frame|The King's eye problem, similar to that of [[Mayor Kravindish]].]]<br />
[[Image:The-King-driving-his-Desoto.jpg|thumb|right|The King in his 1946 DeSoto.]]<br />
===Drug Abuse===<br />
Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and [[Sonic]] were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of [[Sonic Sez]] as a special guest to say the word weed. We're not sure whether he's cured or not, but he's definately stopped...for now.<br />
<br />
==Likes==<br />
*[[Dinner]]<br />
*Food<br />
*[[Link]]<br />
*Arguing with [[Zelda]]<br />
*Torturing [[Duke Onkled]]<br />
*Dancing with [[Ganon]]<br />
*Saying "[[My Boy]]"<br />
*His pet platypus<br />
*Telling people to [[scrub]] stuff.<br />
*[[Laughing]]<br />
*Taking constant trips to Gamelon.<br />
*Evanescence<br />
*[[KFC]]<br />
*His Ship<br />
*The number [[4]]<br />
*Playing his Wii.<br />
*[[No|His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!]]<br />
*Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work<br />
*Duke Onkled's Diner<br />
*[[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]<br />
*Guitar Hero<br />
*His cars<br />
*[[Scatman]]<br />
*Mad Men (The TV series)<br />
*[[Whinefeld]] (He thinks it's funny. Strange, considering that [[Robin]] thought that it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen.)<br />
*Cars (The Movie)<br />
*Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)<br />
*Fishing<br />
*Giving unreasonable demands<br />
<br />
==Dislikes==<br />
*Not having dinner<br />
*[[Ganon]]<br />
*[[Zelda]], however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking [[sex]] from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.<br />
*[[Snacks]]<br />
*[[Potato chips]]<br />
*[[Froggo]]<br />
*[[Joseph Stalin]], that commie piece of shit!<br />
*[[Adolf Hitler]],as he wants the King's dinner for the Aryan race.<br />
*Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)<br />
*The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon<br />
*[[Big Cheese]] (See Zeus)<br />
*Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)<br />
*His other pet Fluffy.<br />
*[[Communist|Tra]][[German|bants]] (he says that they are pieces of [[shit]].)<br />
*[[Willy Wonka]] (he is causing children to not eat their [[dinner]]).<br />
*Squadala Burger<br />
*Gwonam's Pizzeria<br />
*Hamlet<br />
*Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]])<br />
*Rock Band ([[Link]] plays it all the time)<br />
*Rosebud Frozen Peas<br />
*Blotto Bros. Wine<br />
*[[I. Fleecem]] (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1957).<br />
*[[Gwonam]] once showed him 2 girls 1 cup. During it, he puked, and [[Gwonam]] laughed at the king's misery. He sentenced [[Gwonam]] to scrub the floor where he threw up. [[Gwonam]] said it was worth it.<br />
*Slamming his penis in a door.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|MAH BOI!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Four!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I wonder what's for dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You're finally becoming a man, [[My Boy|boy]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|After you [[scrub]] all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMM...how can [[Wii|we]] help?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Zelda, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Did somebody say "dinner"?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|ENOUGH!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|My [[ship]] sails in the morning.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You saved me!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], I'm under attack by the evil forces of [[Ganon]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit, what's for my [[fuck]]ing dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[I]] saved myself!!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], [[I]]'m always talking about [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Link]], [[I]] ate fish for [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.}}<br />
[[Image:Laugh4.gif|frame|right|The King and [[Zelda|his daughter]] after seeing his own article.]]<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk about time to me, boy!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to get dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:King Harkinian}}<br />
[[Category:CD-i]]<br />
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Fat Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Royal Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Internet Memes]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Militaristic People]]<br />
[[Category:Hyrule]]<br />
[[Category:Powerful Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Kings]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=King_Harkinian&diff=94232King Harkinian2010-10-18T21:01:23Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{char}}<br />
{{featured}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=King Harkinian<br />
|image=4fourIV.jpg<br />
|shows=The Legend of Zelda<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=54<br />
|occupation=King of Hyrule<br />
|cast=<br />
|nationality=Danish<br />
}}<br />
'''King Harkinian''', better known as simply '''The King''', is the noble ruler of the land of [[Hyrule]] and one of the most famous characters in the [[YouTube Poop]] universe. He loves talking to and about [[Mah boi|his boi,]] [[Link]]. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, [[Duke Onkled]]. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of [[Ganon]], but when the king was rescued by [[Zelda]], he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.<br />
<br />
==Early Life==<br />
[[Image:The-Kings-Parents-1945.jpg|thumb|The King's parents.]]<br />
Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg.<br />
<br />
==Areas of Expertise==<br />
*The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, [[dinner]], or certain [[Cum|bodily fluids]].<br />
*The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill.<br />
*The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst [[Wario]] Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit.<br />
*He rocks at Guitar Hero. [[Zelda]] dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.<br />
*He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but [[Gay Luigi]] keeps interrupting him. [[M. Bison]] thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and [[Glutko]] thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.<br />
*Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube.<br />
*It is rumored that he trained [[Xuchilbara]] in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.<br />
*[[Vorhias]] managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.<br />
*It is heavily suspected The King is a hard [[BOOZE|drinker]]. He usually drinks when talking about his "[[Link|boy]]", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time. <br />
*The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in [[Hyrule]]. The other person is [[Link]].<br />
*The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving.<br />
*Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]], eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly [[Rick Roll|Rick Rolled]] The King every time he tried to eat.<br />
*Before he became the King of [[Hyrule]], he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called ''"[[Adolf Hitler|Mein Junge]]."'' He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.<br />
*He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his [[ship]]. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.<br />
*The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a [[Triforce]] symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian. <br />
*During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door.<br />
* His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting [[Impa]] who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while [[Link|someone]] uses the [[Book of Koridai]]. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals. <br />
*It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]] get captured during the night by [[Ganon]], and he's always leaving on useless trips to [[Gamelon]] where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still!<br />
*Over the years, Harkinian has collected many strange and dangerous weapons and vehicles. He owns the "Dinner Blaster", a devastating Weapon of Mass [[DIE|Destruction]], which was made [[illegal]] in the United YTP Islands conference. What the Dinner Blaster does is disputed, some say it shoots [[cheeseburger]]s which make you extremely fat, providing they don't knock your head off. Others say that it can do that and convert into a chaingun. The reason why the effect of the Dinner Blaster is disputed is because Harkinian keeps altering it and making upgraded versions. [[Robotnik]], [[Fat Mario]], [[Gay Luigi]] and [[Link]] have all suffered the effects of the Dinner Blaster. The King also owns many Flying Saucers and armed Zeppelins.<br />
*The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by [[The Food Loving King|that other king]], until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years. <br />
{{vid|mUZcqomD_YY}}<br />
{{vid|Io9hqmP9UTo}}<br />
[[Image:King Christmas card.JPG|thumb|300px|Season's greetings from the king.]]<br />
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|The King, [[Link]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]<br />
{{vid|m73qRnCsdFM}}<br />
[[Image:5292 1165786834126 1511575173 457031 2729346 n.jpg|thumb|right|The King in real life]]<br />
{{vid|9jQ1k92JnUw}}<br />
[[Image:STRIVEFOR01245-1.png|frame|The King's eye problem, similar to that of [[Mayor Kravindish]].]]<br />
[[Image:The-King-driving-his-Desoto.jpg|thumb|right|The King in his 1946 DeSoto.]]<br />
===Drug Abuse===<br />
Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and [[Sonic]] were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of [[Sonic Sez]] as a special guest to say the word weed. We're not sure whether he's cured or not, but he's definately stopped...for now.<br />
<br />
==Likes==<br />
*[[Dinner]]<br />
*Food<br />
*[[Link]]<br />
*Arguing with [[Zelda]]<br />
*Torturing [[Duke Onkled]]<br />
*Dancing with [[Ganon]]<br />
*Saying "[[My Boy]]"<br />
*His pet platypus<br />
*Telling people to [[scrub]] stuff.<br />
*[[Laughing]]<br />
*Taking constant trips to Gamelon.<br />
*Evanescence<br />
*[[KFC]]<br />
*His Ship<br />
*The number [[4]]<br />
*Playing his Wii.<br />
*[[No|His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!]]<br />
*Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work<br />
*Duke Onkled's Diner<br />
*[[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]<br />
*Guitar Hero<br />
*His cars<br />
*[[Scatman]]<br />
*Mad Men (The TV series)<br />
*[[Whinefeld]] (He thinks it's funny. Strange, considering that [[Robin]] thought that it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen.)<br />
*Cars (The Movie)<br />
*Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)<br />
*Fishing<br />
*Giving unreasonable demands<br />
<br />
==Dislikes==<br />
*Not having dinner<br />
*[[Ganon]]<br />
*[[Zelda]], however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking [[sex]] from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.<br />
*[[Snacks]]<br />
*[[Potato chips]]<br />
*[[Froggo]]<br />
*[[Joseph Stalin]], that commie piece of shit!<br />
*Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)<br />
*The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon<br />
*[[Big Cheese]] (See Zeus)<br />
*Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)<br />
*His other pet Fluffy.<br />
*[[Communist|Tra]][[German|bants]] (he says that they are pieces of [[shit]].)<br />
*[[Willy Wonka]] (he is causing children to not eat their [[dinner]]).<br />
*Squadala Burger<br />
*Gwonam's Pizzeria<br />
*Hamlet<br />
*Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]])<br />
*Rock Band ([[Link]] plays it all the time)<br />
*Rosebud Frozen Peas<br />
*Blotto Bros. Wine<br />
*[[I. Fleecem]] (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1957).<br />
*[[Gwonam]] once showed him 2 girls 1 cup. During it, he puked, and [[Gwonam]] laughed at the king's misery. He sentenced [[Gwonam]] to scrub the floor where he threw up. [[Gwonam]] said it was worth it.<br />
*Slamming his penis in a door.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|MAH BOI!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Four!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I wonder what's for dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You're finally becoming a man, [[My Boy|boy]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|After you [[scrub]] all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMM...how can [[Wii|we]] help?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Zelda, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Did somebody say "dinner"?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|ENOUGH!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|My [[ship]] sails in the morning.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You saved me!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], I'm under attack by the evil forces of [[Ganon]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit, what's for my [[fuck]]ing dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[I]] saved myself!!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], [[I]]'m always talking about [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Link]], [[I]] ate fish for [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.}}<br />
[[Image:Laugh4.gif|frame|right|The King and [[Zelda|his daughter]] after seeing his own article.]]<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk about time to me, boy!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to get dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:King Harkinian}}<br />
[[Category:CD-i]]<br />
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Fat Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Royal Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Internet Memes]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Militaristic People]]<br />
[[Category:Hyrule]]<br />
[[Category:Powerful Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Kings]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=Encyclop%E6dia_Dramatica&diff=94230Encyclop�dia Dramatica2010-10-18T20:42:11Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Ed_logo.png|frame|Their official logo.]]<br />
<I>In [[Anonymous|lulz,]] we trust. — Encyclopædia Dramatica's official site motto.</I><br />
<br />
<I>Where facts [[die]], and stereotypes lie. - Some guy from Urban Dictionary about Encyclopædia Dramatica.</I><br />
<br />
<I>People get their [[shit]]s and giggles out of this? - [[Anonymous|Some unknown guy.]]</I><br />
<br />
<i>You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. - [[Star Wars|Obi-Wan Kenobi]]</i><br />
<br />
'''''Encyclopædia Dramatica''''' (or '''''Encyclopedia Dramatica''''' as it's sometimes referred to) is a satirical Wiki with ''lots'' of shock content, and is probably the biggest shock site on the web. Seriously, it's what you get when you mix the shock website ''Last Measure'' with Goatse and the /b/ board of [[4chan]] in a blender, then take the blender and [[Chuck Norris|chuck]] it into a dumpster, than throw the dumpster into a radioactive waste plant. Really.<br />
<br />
==What It Contains==<br />
[[Image:Ae-24-bluebackground.png|thumb|right|Say their logo as AYYYYYEEE!!! Hell, just call them that period. [[wrong|They'll love it!]]]]<br />
Encyclopædia Dramatica contains pornographic ads, the dreadful pop-ups that manage to get past the best of pop-up blockers, defamatory content, various other shock images, and vast amounts of trolls who actually find the site funny. Prolonged exposure to the site will easily melt your brain and fry your eyelids off. Also, this site may give you a virus,<sup>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZE9aPl0AJ0]</sup> so view at your own risk!<br />
<br />
===ED Vs. Chewiki===<br />
Some people also claim that the Chewiki is basically like Encyclopædia Dramatica. Yet the Chewiki actually contains information presented in our [[good]] humorous way, while ED only contains ''nonsense'' presented in their so-called "humorous way." Plus, ED is a troll site and contains actual pornography and shock content as mentioned above. Encyclopædia Dramatica also focuses on [[:Category:Internet Memes|memes]] and belittling them, while the Chewiki focuses ''mainly'' on [[Youtube Poop]]. There ''are'' some very slight similarities; but other then that, the two sites are nothing alike, and don't plan to be...at all.<br />
<br />
==Any Positives Here?==<br />
<s>None at all</s>. Well, they do tell you the history of some of the internet's special memes quite well (most of the time, at least). Then again, you could go to [[Know Your Meme]] and get most of the same results there. Also, they give a [[good]] type of history towards Chris-Chan and other people like him (though that's not without using stuff like "pedo-forks" and "[[ass|butt]]hurt"). Another sort of positive thing is that they don't support having [[no|sex with babies]] (although you sort of wonder who in the world would do that). Other than that, there's barely anything redeemable about it at all.<br />
<br />
==Things That ED Members Like==<br />
Contrary to popular belief, ED does NOT hate everything. Among the few things that they like: <br />
<br />
*[[Pingas]]<br />
*[[Animaniacs]]<br />
*[[Gaston]]<br />
*[[Fortran]]<br />
*[[Billy Mays]]<br />
*The [[Pittsburgh]] [[American Football|Steelers]]<br />
*The first episode of Saul & The Mole Men<br />
*[[Stephen Colbert]]<br />
*[[SuperJail!]]<br />
*[[The Boondocks]], especially the two-time villian and one-time narrator Colonel Stinkmeaner.<br />
*Louis C.K.<br />
*[[Dragonforce]]<br />
*[[Captain Falcon]]<br />
*Squidbillies<br />
*Pirates<br />
*Monkey Island<br />
*[[Futurama]]<br />
*The [[Canada|Montreal]] [[Baseball|Expos]]<br />
*Wrex from Mass Effect<br />
*[[Star Fox]] 64<br />
**[[Star Fox]] Assault<br />
*[[Bacon]]<br />
*[[Eggs]]<br />
*[[:Category:Cats|Cats]]<br />
*[[Tsutarja]] (Smugleaf)<br />
<br />
==Criticism==<br />
Encyclopedia Dramatica has been criticised many times for various reasons, among which are:<br />
*[[Pornography]] <s>[[Spy|starring your mother]].</s><br />
*[[AIDS|Viruses]]<br />
*The lack of a disclaimer.<br />
*[[Racism]]<br />
*[[Nazi|Religious intolerance]].<br />
*Hatred of [[furries]].<br />
*Cyber-bullying, and the promotion of it.<br />
*[[Retard|Stupidity]]<br />
<br />
In addition, it has been criticised by the [[Australia]]n government for its original article on aborigines, which was deemed as racist, and was actually blocked on Australian servers.<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
{{VidCaption|KjJ7ZKBu7kA|The video where [[the Amazing Athiest]] tried to sue ED.}}<br />
*Many people of different groups have tried to shut it down.<br />
**One time, someone actually succeeded in shutting it down through [[Anonymous|hacking]]. Unfortunately, the site was brought back.<br />
*One time, [[the Amazing Athiest]] tried to sue Encyclopædia Dramatica for using some of his artwork that he recalled to him that he wasn't given permission to use his artwork on that site. However, he failed when he decided to remove his original video towards them [[4]] hours later due to issues not relating ED at all.<br />
*Did you know that they insult ''some'' of the YouTube Poopers in that website? It's true, and it's not of insults that come from other YouTube Poopers (like in the [[kinghomer45]] incident) either.<br />
**YouChew members who discover their own selves being mentioned get a thread and a few pages of material, even when they know it's going to happen anyways. Some users even wonder why we should care. In fact why ''should'' you care about this bit of trivia here?<br />
*Encyclopædia Dramatica is actually not a racist website. The articles are deliberately written to be racist and derogatory, and many ED contributors are actually the very things they make fun of. Real racists and Nazi's who join up often end up getting mocked by the EDitors. <br />
*Do NOT, under any circumstances, go on the "Offended" page or the "Kittens" page. Just don't, OK? DON'T!<br />
*[[The Nostalgia Critic]] thinks that the only troll that's worse than the ones found on Encyclopædia Dramatica is the one that's found in Central Park, [[New York]].<br />
<br />
==[[Link]]s==<br />
*[http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/ WARNING: Extremely NSFW and contains pictures and articles that should've never seen the light of day. Have your AdBlock and up-to-date virus-scanners ready.]<br />
**[http://whatport80.com/ The Official Portal of ED, ''WhatPort80'']<br />
[[Category:Websites]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Dicks]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=Furry&diff=94229Furry2010-10-18T20:31:35Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>==Definition==<br />
[[Image:IFox4.jpg|thumb|right|[[Fox McCloud]], an example of a '''furry'''.]]<br />
A furry is an anthropomorphic (humanoid) animal character. "Furry" can also refer to fans of such characters, who are members of the furry fandom. Despite being called furries, a furry does not necessarily have to have fur. A furry can be any kind of animal, as long as it has humanoid attributes. For instance, an anthropomorphic reptile is referred to as a ''scaly.''<br />
<br />
====Furries As Anthro Characters====<br />
Furries originally started out as fictional characters in cartoons, comics, and Egyptian mythology. A furry is an animal character that walks on two legs, talks, and is basically just a human with funky ears, a tail, and overgrown body hair. Ironically, some of these "furries" don't even have fur. Go figure.<br />
<br />
Examples:<br />
*[[Dr. Rabbit]]<br />
*Every character in [[Star Fox]], [[Samurai Pizza Cats]], and the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series, as well as the movie [[Robin Hood (movie)|Robin Hood]] (aside from [[Robotnik]] and [[Dr. Eggman]]'s families, plus other incidentals.)<br />
*Klonoa<br />
*[[Bowser]] and his children.<br />
*[[King Dedede]] ([[Maybe]]...)<br />
*[[Escargoon]]<br />
*[[Darkwing Duck]]<br />
*[[Donald Duck]]<br />
*[[Mickey Mouse]]<br />
**Actually, it's an in-proportionate ammount of [[Disney]] characters.<br />
*The Cheetahmen (from [[Anti-Uctions|Action 52]])<br />
[[Image:OfAllTime.jpg|thumb|right|[[Kanye West]] thinks that [[Krystal]]'s [[no]]t the best furries' [[sex]] [[no|plaything]] of all time.]]<br />
<br />
===Furries As A Fandom===<br />
Members of the Furry Fandom can have varying ammounts of interest in Furry characters. Some merely like to watch cartoons starring anthro characters, others create furry art, and still others go to the extremes of going to conventions and wearing fursuits.<br />
<br />
===Furries As A Fetish===<br />
Some people like to look at furry porn and somehow have sex in their fursuits with other furries. The act of furry sex is known as yiffing, and pornographic material featuring furries is known as yiff. Someone who gets off on yiff is known as a Furry Fetishist, a Furvert, or a Furfag.<br />
<br />
==YTP Characters That Are Furfags==<br />
*[[Dr. Robotnik]], as evidenced by his unhealthy obsession with a certain blue hedgehog, and the fact that he surrounds himself with [[Scratch|anthro]] [[sex]] [[Grounder|droids.]]<br />
*[[Dexter]]<br />
*[[Mario]]<br />
*[[Luigi]]<br />
*[[Snively]]<br />
*[[Edd]] (Rumored)<br />
*The Thundercats<br />
*[[Strong Bad]] (He wanted to marry a female Swedish puppy.)<br />
[[Image:I AM KNUCKLES.jpg|thumb|A furry approaches.]]<br />
[[Image:Samurai Fox.jpg|thumb|right|A <i>real</i> furry approaches.]]<br />
<br />
==Youtube Poopers Who Are Furries==<br />
[[Yes]], they do exist. Deal with it.<br />
*[[MASTERFURRYX]] (Obviously.)<br />
*[[Squirrelous]]<br />
*[[CommanderGwonam]] ([[Maybe]]...)<br />
*[[MrDrunkenFox]]<br />
*[[MeiAIDS]]<br />
*[[Ophios]] (Featherie)<br />
*[[SergeantBacon]]<br />
*WOLFIE THE FOX<br />
*[[Robotcomics]]<br />
*[[TheGrim800]]<br />
*meinegar<br />
*[[igiulamam]]<br />
*[[Yenehckcid]] (Fursuiter)<br />
*Malkmusian<br />
*[[Zevifa]]<br />
*punk080808 (aka Chimæra)<br />
*[[GenghisKhan44]]<br />
*[[ChibsogItchy]]<br />
*[[IchigoMontgomery]]<br />
*[[vvaluigi]]<br />
*[[InnocentDarkside]]<br />
*[[TheChutley]]<br />
*[[MycroProcessor]]<br />
*[[RobochaoXX]]<br />
*[[YTPnews1|YTPnews1/MustangSally72]] ([[Maybe]]...[[Yes|after all, he has plenty of skunks in his life.]])<br />
*[[app129alt]] (self-hating furry)<br />
<br />
===Chewiki Users Who Are Furries===<br />
Yes, just like YouTube Poopers, they can exist. Deal with it.<br />
*[[MustangSally72]]<br />
*[[User:Yoshit|Yoshit]]<br />
*[[User:Odairu86|Odairu86]]<br />
*[[User Talk:Crazy Luigi|Crazy Luigi]] (Even though he insists otherwise<!--As in even though he likes some furry things (like the art and a certain webcomic (thanks MustangSally)), he doesn't usually like talking about them.-->.)<br />
<br />
==Disliked By==<br />
[[Image:100m.jpg|thumb|right|[[4chan]]ners didn't like seeing this around for post 100,000,000.]]<br />
*[[Nazi]]s but Hitler might have been one, given how he preferred animals to people, nicknamed himself, "wolf", and even called his Eastern front base, "The Wolf's Lair".<br />
*[[The Ku Klux Klan]]<br />
*[[Encyclopædia Dramatica]]<br />
*[[Elmer Fudd|Hunt]][[Gaston|ers]]<br />
*[[NinjaCoachZ]] (Just the more obsessive fans, furry webcomics, and [[hentai]]; he doesn't mind anthropomorphic characters.)<br />
*[[HMTcomp]] (They're always hiding something suspicious.)<br />
*[[GameCubeHero]] (Or, he could just be trolling like he always does these days. Who knows.)<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
*Furries, like [[Star Wars|many]] [[::Category:Politicians|other]] [[:Category:Comic Book Characters|things]], have their own conventions, the largest being Anthrocon in [[Pittsburgh]].<br />
*[[Claude Frollo]] believes that [[God]] made furries so much stronger than a ([[no]]rmal) man.<br />
**He also thinks that it was God's plan to make furries, such as [[Krystal]], be[[cum|come]] [[sex]]y towards people.<br />
*Furries ended up stealing the 100,000,000th post on [[4chan]] that was originally set for mother [[Britain]].<br />
[[Category:YouTube Poop One-liners]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=Gaston&diff=94228Gaston2010-10-18T20:21:19Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{char}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=Gaston<br />
|image=Gaston-mirror.jpg<br />
|caption=Only Gaston can look at Gaston with charm, talent, beauty, and grace.<br />
|shows=[[Beauty and the Beast]]<br />
|noaddshows=yes<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=27<br />
|occupation=Hunter, Douchebag<br />
|nationality=French<br />
}}<br />
[[Image:Peepgastonia7.gif|frame|left|Gosh, it disturbs me to see you...]]<br />
[[Image:Gastontwilight.jpg|thumb|right|It's funny because it's true.]]<br />
{{vid|zdcUR0oh4MQ}}<br />
{{vidCaption|QBqt0a8sgWM|His song.}}<br />
==Biography==<br />
Known for his role as the villain in the film ''Beauty and the Beast'', Gaston is a depressed hunter who once tried to take out his anger on the world by conquering it. However, he was quickly beaten by the Army of [[King Harkinian]] and thrown into [[The Pit]]. He has since made a triumphant return to the tavern he frequents.<br />
He hates [[Furry|furries]] like The Beast, and plots to kill all of them while standing on the rails of balconies overlooking endless chasms.<br />
<br />
===Legal Issues===<br />
Gaston was once arrested for [[sex|"offerings"]] in a small rural neighborhood. He claimed many times to be innocent, but due to his differences, he was going to be found guilty. The judge appointed him a [[Phoenix Wright|very smart lawyer]] who had later been accused of being a "Gaston-lover" and took the case full-on. The father of the victim had said that Gaston was a terrible man, who was fueled by 4 dozen extenze's [[King Harkinian|in the morning]], and found his daughter as his victim. Although the evidence was found that Gaston could [[no]]t have done such an ill-conceived crime, the jury decided they could never keep Gaston's word over the white man and sentenced him to time in jail. <br />
<br />
3 weeks later, Gaston got in further trouble when he tried to escape. Though he was shot down, he was really only playing dead and planning his next scheme. (It helped that he was on a sugar rush.)<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
*Every last inch of him's covered with '''GASTON'''.<br />
*He likes [[eggs]]. A lot.<br />
**In fact, ''when he was a lad, he ate [[4]] dozen eggs'' for breakfast.<br />
***But now that he's all grown up, he'll get large!<br />
****He even broke the record for eggs eaten in the morning by eating about [[1295.31|1,295.31]] eggs.<br />
*His hobbies include drinking [[BOOZE|beer]], hunting, and physically abusing LeFou.<br />
*Has a [http://youchewpoop.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=79660&start=0 forum game dedicated to him].<br />
*No one ______s like Gaston. Fill in the blank with whatever verb you fancy.<br />
*As a specimen, yes, he's IN-TIM-I-DAT-ING!!!<br />
*He's especially good at EX-PEC-TOR-A-TING!!!<br />
**How an illiterate buffoon like Gaston learned a word like "expectorating" (which means to eject from the throat or lungs by spitting, hawking, or coughing) is currently unknown. Some think that he actually meant to say "[[masturbating]]", but it was [[illegal]] to say it in pubs, so he just thought that he made that word up<br />
*He uses [[Hitler|antler]]s in all of his DE-COR-AT-ING!!!<br />
*His marriage we soon will be CEL-E-BRAT-ING<br />
*He is the champion of MAS-TUR-BAT-ING!!!<br />
**Nobody [[cum]]s like Gaston.<br />
*He's especially good at E-JAC-U-LA-TING!!!<br />
*He's especially good at FAC-TOR-ING!!!<br />
*He's roughly the size of a baaaaarge-uh.<br />
*He confirmed that when he was a lad, his father beat him every night to help him (Gaston) go to sleep. But now that he's grown, he (Gaston) beats his father to sleep. Harsh, isn't it?<br />
*Gaston is the best, and the rest are all dicks!<br />
*He laughs at the thought about women thinking. That makes him sexist.<br />
*He was listed at #5 at the [[Nostalgia Critic]]'s Top 11 Disney Villains video. He especially liked the fact that he made it so high.<br />
**He did, however, hate the fact that his song about himself didn't make it onto the Top 11 Villains' Songs video.<br />
*No one governs like him either. From 1989 to 1997, he was the Governor of the State of West Virginia.<br />
*Is one of the few things liked by [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], along with a few other memes.<br />
*Only Gaston knows that [[no]] [[one]]'s [[yes]].<br />
[[Category:Characters - French]]<br />
[[Category:Disney]]<br />
[[Category:Disney Villains]]<br />
[[Category:Book Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Strong Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Internet Memes]]<br />
[[Category:Dicks]]<br />
[[Category:Dead]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=King_Harkinian&diff=94227King Harkinian2010-10-18T20:01:51Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{char}}<br />
{{featured}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=King Harkinian<br />
|image=4fourIV.jpg<br />
|shows=The Legend of Zelda<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=54<br />
|occupation=King of Hyrule<br />
|cast=<br />
|nationality=Danish<br />
}}<br />
'''King Harkinian''', better known as simply '''The King''', is the noble ruler of the land of [[Hyrule]] and one of the most famous characters in the [[YouTube Poop]] universe. He loves talking to and about [[Mah boi|his boi,]] [[Link]]. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, [[Duke Onkled]]. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of [[Ganon]], but when the king was rescued by [[Zelda]], he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.<br />
<br />
==Early Life==<br />
[[Image:The-Kings-Parents-1945.jpg|thumb|The King's parents.]]<br />
Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg.<br />
<br />
==Areas of Expertise==<br />
*The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, [[dinner]], or certain [[Cum|bodily fluids]].<br />
*The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill.<br />
*The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst [[Wario]] Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit.<br />
*He rocks at Guitar Hero. [[Zelda]] dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.<br />
*He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but [[Gay Luigi]] keeps interrupting him. [[M. Bison]] thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and [[Glutko]] thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.<br />
*Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube.<br />
*It is rumored that he trained [[Xuchilbara]] in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.<br />
*[[Vorhias]] managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.<br />
*It is heavily suspected The King is a hard [[BOOZE|drinker]]. He usually drinks when talking about his "[[Link|boy]]", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time. <br />
*The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in [[Hyrule]]. The other person is [[Link]].<br />
*The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving.<br />
*Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]], eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly [[Rick Roll|Rick Rolled]] The King every time he tried to eat.<br />
*Before he became the King of [[Hyrule]], he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called ''"[[Adolf Hitler|Mein Junge]]."'' He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.<br />
*He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his [[ship]]. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.<br />
*The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a [[Triforce]] symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian. <br />
*During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door.<br />
* His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting [[Impa]] who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while [[Link|someone]] uses the [[Book of Koridai]]. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals. <br />
*It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]] get captured during the night by [[Ganon]], and he's always leaving on useless trips to [[Gamelon]] where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still!<br />
*Over the years, Harkinian has collected many strange and dangerous weapons and vehicles. He owns the "Dinner Blaster", a devastating Weapon of Mass [[DIE|Destruction]], which was made [[illegal]] in the United YTP Islands conference. What the Dinner Blaster does is disputed, some say it shoots [[cheeseburger]]s which make you extremely fat, providing they don't knock your head off. Others say that it can do that and convert into a chaingun. The reason why the effect of the Dinner Blaster is disputed is because Harkinian keeps altering it and making upgraded versions. [[Robotnik]], [[Fat Mario]], [[Gay Luigi]] and [[Link]] have all suffered the effects of the Dinner Blaster. The King also owns many Flying Saucers and armed Zeppelins.<br />
*The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by [[The Food Loving King|that other king]], until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years. <br />
{{vid|mUZcqomD_YY}}<br />
{{vid|Io9hqmP9UTo}}<br />
[[Image:King Christmas card.JPG|thumb|300px|Season's greetings from the king.]]<br />
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|The King, [[Link]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]<br />
{{vid|m73qRnCsdFM}}<br />
[[Image:5292 1165786834126 1511575173 457031 2729346 n.jpg|thumb|right|The King in real life]]<br />
{{vid|9jQ1k92JnUw}}<br />
[[Image:STRIVEFOR01245-1.png|frame|The King's eye problem, similar to that of [[Mayor Kravindish]].]]<br />
[[Image:The-King-driving-his-Desoto.jpg|thumb|right|The King in his 1946 DeSoto.]]<br />
===Drug Abuse===<br />
Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and [[Sonic]] were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of [[Sonic Sez]] as a special guest to say the word weed. We're not sure whether he's cured or not, but he's definately stopped...for now.<br />
<br />
==Likes==<br />
*[[Dinner]]<br />
*Food<br />
*[[Link]]<br />
*Arguing with [[Zelda]]<br />
*Torturing [[Duke Onkled]]<br />
*Dancing with [[Ganon]]<br />
*Saying "[[My Boy]]"<br />
*His pet platypus<br />
*Telling people to [[scrub]] stuff.<br />
*[[Laughing]]<br />
*Taking constant trips to Gamelon.<br />
*Evanescence<br />
*[[KFC]]<br />
*His Ship<br />
*The number [[4]]<br />
*Playing his Wii.<br />
*[[No|His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!]]<br />
*Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work<br />
*Duke Onkled's Diner<br />
*[[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]<br />
*Guitar Hero<br />
*His cars<br />
*[[Scatman]]<br />
*Mad Men (The TV series)<br />
*[[Whinefeld]] (He thinks it's funny. Strange, considering that [[Robin]] thought that it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen.)<br />
*Cars (The Movie)<br />
*Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)<br />
*Fishing<br />
*Giving unreasonable demands<br />
<br />
==Dislikes==<br />
*Not having dinner<br />
*[[Ganon]]<br />
*[[Zelda]], however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking [[sex]] from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.<br />
*[[Snacks]]<br />
*[[Potato chips]]<br />
*[[Froggo]]<br />
*Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)<br />
*The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon<br />
*[[Big Cheese]] (See Zeus)<br />
*Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)<br />
*His other pet Fluffy.<br />
*[[Communist|Tra]][[German|bants]] (he says that they are pieces of [[shit]].)<br />
*[[Willy Wonka]] (he is causing children to not eat their [[dinner]]).<br />
*Squadala Burger<br />
*Gwonam's Pizzeria<br />
*Hamlet<br />
*Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]])<br />
*Rock Band ([[Link]] plays it all the time)<br />
*Rosebud Frozen Peas<br />
*Blotto Bros. Wine<br />
*[[I. Fleecem]] (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1957).<br />
*[[Gwonam]] once showed him 2 girls 1 cup. During it, he puked, and [[Gwonam]] laughed at the king's misery. He sentenced [[Gwonam]] to scrub the floor where he threw up. [[Gwonam]] said it was worth it.<br />
*Slamming his penis in a door.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|MAH BOI!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Four!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I wonder what's for dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You're finally becoming a man, [[My Boy|boy]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|After you [[scrub]] all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMM...how can [[Wii|we]] help?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Zelda, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Did somebody say "dinner"?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|ENOUGH!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|My [[ship]] sails in the morning.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You saved me!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], I'm under attack by the evil forces of [[Ganon]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit, what's for my [[fuck]]ing dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[I]] saved myself!!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], [[I]]'m always talking about [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Link]], [[I]] ate fish for [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.}}<br />
[[Image:Laugh4.gif|frame|right|The King and [[Zelda|his daughter]] after seeing his own article.]]<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk about time to me, boy!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to get dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:King Harkinian}}<br />
[[Category:CD-i]]<br />
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Fat Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Royal Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Internet Memes]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Militaristic People]]<br />
[[Category:Hyrule]]<br />
[[Category:Powerful Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Kings]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=King_Harkinian&diff=94226King Harkinian2010-10-18T19:57:10Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{char}}<br />
{{featured}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=King Harkinian<br />
|image=4fourIV.jpg<br />
|shows=The Legend of Zelda<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=54<br />
|occupation=King of Hyrule<br />
|cast=<br />
|nationality=Danish<br />
}}<br />
'''King Harkinian''', better known as simply '''The King''', is the noble ruler of the land of [[Hyrule]] and one of the most famous characters in the [[YouTube Poop]] universe. He loves talking to and about [[Mah boi|his boi,]] [[Link]]. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, [[Duke Onkled]]. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of [[Ganon]], but when the king was rescued by [[Zelda]], he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.<br />
<br />
==Early Life==<br />
[[Image:The-Kings-Parents-1945.jpg|thumb|The King's parents.]]<br />
Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg.<br />
<br />
==Areas of Expertise==<br />
*The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, [[dinner]], or certain [[Cum|bodily fluids]].<br />
*The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill.<br />
*The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst [[Wario]] Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit.<br />
*He rocks at Guitar Hero. [[Zelda]] dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.<br />
*He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but [[Gay Luigi]] keeps interrupting him. [[M. Bison]] thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and [[Glutko]] thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.<br />
*Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube.<br />
*It is rumored that he trained [[Xuchilbara]] in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.<br />
*[[Vorhias]] managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.<br />
*It is heavily suspected The King is a hard [[BOOZE|drinker]]. He usually drinks when talking about his "[[Link|boy]]", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time. <br />
*The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in [[Hyrule]]. The other person is [[Link]].<br />
*The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving.<br />
*Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]], eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly [[Rick Roll|Rick Rolled]] The King every time he tried to eat.<br />
*Before he became the King of [[Hyrule]], he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called ''"[[Adolf Hitler|Mein Junge]]."'' He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.<br />
*He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his [[ship]]. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.<br />
*The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a [[Triforce]] symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian. <br />
*During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door.<br />
* His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting [[Impa]] who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while [[Link|someone]] uses the [[Book of Koridai]]. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals. <br />
*It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]] get captured during the night by [[Ganon]], and he's always leaving on useless trips to [[Gamelon]] where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still!<br />
*Over the years, Harkinian has collected many strange and dangerous weapons and vehicles. He owns the "Dinner Blaster", a devastating Weapon of Mass [[DIE|Destruction]], which was made [[illegal]] in the United YTP Islands conference. What the Dinner Blaster does is disputed, some say it shoots [[cheeseburger]]s which make you extremely fat, providing they don't lnock your head off. Others say that it can do that and convert into a chaingun. The reason why the effect of the Dinner Blaster is disputed is because Harkinian keeps altering it and making upgraded versions. [[Dr Robotnik]], [[Fat Mario]], [[Gay Luigi]] and [[Link]] have all suffered the effects of the Dinner Blaster. The King also owns many Flying Saucers and armed Zeppelins.<br />
*The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by [[The Food Loving King|that other king]], until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years. <br />
{{vid|mUZcqomD_YY}}<br />
{{vid|Io9hqmP9UTo}}<br />
[[Image:King Christmas card.JPG|thumb|300px|Season's greetings from the king.]]<br />
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|The King, [[Link]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]<br />
{{vid|m73qRnCsdFM}}<br />
[[Image:5292 1165786834126 1511575173 457031 2729346 n.jpg|thumb|right|The King in real life]]<br />
{{vid|9jQ1k92JnUw}}<br />
[[Image:STRIVEFOR01245-1.png|frame|The King's eye problem, similar to that of [[Mayor Kravindish]].]]<br />
[[Image:The-King-driving-his-Desoto.jpg|thumb|right|The King in his 1946 DeSoto.]]<br />
===Drug Abuse===<br />
Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and [[Sonic]] were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of [[Sonic Sez]] as a special guest to say the word weed. We're not sure whether he's cured or not, but he's definately stopped...for now.<br />
<br />
==Likes==<br />
*[[Dinner]]<br />
*Food<br />
*[[Link]]<br />
*Arguing with [[Zelda]]<br />
*Torturing [[Duke Onkled]]<br />
*Dancing with [[Ganon]]<br />
*Saying "[[My Boy]]"<br />
*His pet platypus<br />
*Telling people to [[scrub]] stuff.<br />
*[[Laughing]]<br />
*Taking constant trips to Gamelon.<br />
*Evanescence<br />
*[[KFC]]<br />
*His Ship<br />
*The number [[4]]<br />
*Playing his Wii.<br />
*[[No|His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!]]<br />
*Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work<br />
*Duke Onkled's Diner<br />
*[[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]<br />
*Guitar Hero<br />
*His cars<br />
*[[Scatman]]<br />
*Mad Men (The TV series)<br />
*[[Whinefeld]] (He thinks it's funny. Strange, considering that [[Robin]] thought that it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen.)<br />
*Cars (The Movie)<br />
*Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)<br />
*Fishing<br />
*Giving unreasonable demands<br />
<br />
==Dislikes==<br />
*Not having dinner<br />
*[[Ganon]]<br />
*[[Zelda]], however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking [[sex]] from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.<br />
*[[Snacks]]<br />
*[[Potato chips]]<br />
*[[Froggo]]<br />
*Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)<br />
*The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon<br />
*[[Big Cheese]] (See Zeus)<br />
*Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)<br />
*His other pet Fluffy.<br />
*[[Communist|Tra]][[German|bants]] (he says that they are pieces of [[shit]].)<br />
*[[Willy Wonka]] (he is causing children to not eat their [[dinner]]).<br />
*Squadala Burger<br />
*Gwonam's Pizzeria<br />
*Hamlet<br />
*Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]])<br />
*Rock Band ([[Link]] plays it all the time)<br />
*Rosebud Frozen Peas<br />
*Blotto Bros. Wine<br />
*[[I. Fleecem]] (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1957).<br />
*[[Gwonam]] once showed him 2 girls 1 cup. During it, he puked, and [[Gwonam]] laughed at the king's misery. He sentenced [[Gwonam]] to scrub the floor where he threw up. [[Gwonam]] said it was worth it.<br />
*Slamming his penis in a door.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|MAH BOI!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Four!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I wonder what's for dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You're finally becoming a man, [[My Boy|boy]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|After you [[scrub]] all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMM...how can [[Wii|we]] help?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Zelda, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Did somebody say "dinner"?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|ENOUGH!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|My [[ship]] sails in the morning.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You saved me!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], I'm under attack by the evil forces of [[Ganon]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit, what's for my [[fuck]]ing dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[I]] saved myself!!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], [[I]]'m always talking about [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Link]], [[I]] ate fish for [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.}}<br />
[[Image:Laugh4.gif|frame|right|The King and [[Zelda|his daughter]] after seeing his own article.]]<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk about time to me, boy!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to get dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:King Harkinian}}<br />
[[Category:CD-i]]<br />
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Fat Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Royal Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Internet Memes]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Militaristic People]]<br />
[[Category:Hyrule]]<br />
[[Category:Powerful Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Kings]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=King_Harkinian&diff=94225King Harkinian2010-10-18T19:54:08Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{char}}<br />
{{featured}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=King Harkinian<br />
|image=4fourIV.jpg<br />
|shows=The Legend of Zelda<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=54<br />
|occupation=King of Hyrule<br />
|cast=<br />
|nationality=Danish<br />
}}<br />
'''King Harkinian''', better known as simply '''The King''', is the noble ruler of the land of [[Hyrule]] and one of the most famous characters in the [[YouTube Poop]] universe. He loves talking to and about [[Mah boi|his boi,]] [[Link]]. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, [[Duke Onkled]]. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of [[Ganon]], but when the king was rescued by [[Zelda]], he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.<br />
<br />
==Early Life==<br />
[[Image:The-Kings-Parents-1945.jpg|thumb|The King's parents.]]<br />
Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg.<br />
<br />
==Areas of Expertise==<br />
*The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, [[dinner]], or certain [[Cum|bodily fluids]].<br />
*The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill.<br />
*The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst [[Wario]] Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit.<br />
*He rocks at Guitar Hero. [[Zelda]] dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.<br />
*He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but [[Gay Luigi]] keeps interrupting him. [[M. Bison]] thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and [[Glutko]] thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.<br />
*Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube.<br />
*It is rumored that he trained [[Xuchilbara]] in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.<br />
*[[Vorhias]] managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.<br />
*It is heavily suspected The King is a hard [[BOOZE|drinker]]. He usually drinks when talking about his "[[Link|boy]]", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time. <br />
*The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in [[Hyrule]]. The other person is [[Link]].<br />
*The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving.<br />
*Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]], eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly [[Rick Roll|Rick Rolled]] The King every time he tried to eat.<br />
*Before he became the King of [[Hyrule]], he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called ''"[[Adolf Hitler|Mein Junge]]."'' He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.<br />
*He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his [[ship]]. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.<br />
*The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a [[Triforce]] symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian. <br />
*During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door.<br />
* His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting [[Impa]] who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while [[Link|someone]] uses the [[Book of Koridai]]. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals. <br />
*It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]] get captured during the night by [[Ganon]], and he's always leaving on useless trips to [[Gamelon]] where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still!<br />
*Over the years, Harkinian has collected many strange and dangerous weapons and vehicles. He owns the "Dinner Blaster", a devastating Weapon of Mass [[Destruction|DIE]], which was made [illegal]] in the United YTP Islands conference. What the Dinner Blaster does is disputed, some say it shoots [[cheeseburger]]s which make you extremely fat, providing they don't lnock your head off. Others say that it can do that and convert into a chaingun. The reason why the effect of the Dinner Blaster is disputed is because Harkinian keeps altering it and making upgraded versions. [[Dr Robotnik]], [[Fat Mario]], [[Gay Luigi]] and [[Link]] have all suffered the effects of the Dinner Blaster. The King also owns many Flying Saucers and armed Zeppelins.<br />
*The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by [[The Food Loving King|that other king]], until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years. <br />
{{vid|mUZcqomD_YY}}<br />
{{vid|Io9hqmP9UTo}}<br />
[[Image:King Christmas card.JPG|thumb|300px|Season's greetings from the king.]]<br />
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|The King, [[Link]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]<br />
{{vid|m73qRnCsdFM}}<br />
[[Image:5292 1165786834126 1511575173 457031 2729346 n.jpg|thumb|right|The King in real life]]<br />
{{vid|9jQ1k92JnUw}}<br />
[[Image:STRIVEFOR01245-1.png|frame|The King's eye problem, similar to that of [[Mayor Kravindish]].]]<br />
[[Image:The-King-driving-his-Desoto.jpg|thumb|right|The King in his 1946 DeSoto.]]<br />
===Drug Abuse===<br />
Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and [[Sonic]] were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of [[Sonic Sez]] as a special guest to say the word weed. We're not sure whether he's cured or not, but he's definately stopped...for now.<br />
<br />
==Likes==<br />
*[[Dinner]]<br />
*Food<br />
*[[Link]]<br />
*Arguing with [[Zelda]]<br />
*Torturing [[Duke Onkled]]<br />
*Dancing with [[Ganon]]<br />
*Saying "[[My Boy]]"<br />
*His pet platypus<br />
*Telling people to [[scrub]] stuff.<br />
*[[Laughing]]<br />
*Taking constant trips to Gamelon.<br />
*Evanescence<br />
*[[KFC]]<br />
*His Ship<br />
*The number [[4]]<br />
*Playing his Wii.<br />
*[[No|His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!]]<br />
*Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work<br />
*Duke Onkled's Diner<br />
*[[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]<br />
*Guitar Hero<br />
*His cars<br />
*[[Scatman]]<br />
*Mad Men (The TV series)<br />
*[[Whinefeld]] (He thinks it's funny. Strange, considering that [[Robin]] thought that it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen.)<br />
*Cars (The Movie)<br />
*Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)<br />
*Fishing<br />
*Giving unreasonable demands<br />
<br />
==Dislikes==<br />
*Not having dinner<br />
*[[Ganon]]<br />
*[[Zelda]], however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking [[sex]] from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.<br />
*[[Snacks]]<br />
*[[Potato chips]]<br />
*[[Froggo]]<br />
*Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)<br />
*The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon<br />
*[[Big Cheese]] (See Zeus)<br />
*Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)<br />
*His other pet Fluffy.<br />
*[[Communist|Tra]][[German|bants]] (he says that they are pieces of [[shit]].)<br />
*[[Willy Wonka]] (he is causing children to not eat their [[dinner]]).<br />
*Squadala Burger<br />
*Gwonam's Pizzeria<br />
*Hamlet<br />
*Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]])<br />
*Rock Band ([[Link]] plays it all the time)<br />
*Rosebud Frozen Peas<br />
*Blotto Bros. Wine<br />
*[[I. Fleecem]] (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1957).<br />
*[[Gwonam]] once showed him 2 girls 1 cup. During it, he puked, and [[Gwonam]] laughed at the king's misery. He sentenced [[Gwonam]] to scrub the floor where he threw up. [[Gwonam]] said it was worth it.<br />
*Slamming his penis in a door.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|MAH BOI!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Four!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I wonder what's for dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You're finally becoming a man, [[My Boy|boy]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|After you [[scrub]] all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMM...how can [[Wii|we]] help?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Zelda, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Did somebody say "dinner"?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|ENOUGH!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|My [[ship]] sails in the morning.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You saved me!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], I'm under attack by the evil forces of [[Ganon]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit, what's for my [[fuck]]ing dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[I]] saved myself!!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], [[I]]'m always talking about [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Link]], [[I]] ate fish for [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.}}<br />
[[Image:Laugh4.gif|frame|right|The King and [[Zelda|his daughter]] after seeing his own article.]]<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk about time to me, boy!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to get dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:King Harkinian}}<br />
[[Category:CD-i]]<br />
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Fat Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Royal Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Internet Memes]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Militaristic People]]<br />
[[Category:Hyrule]]<br />
[[Category:Powerful Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Kings]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=King_Harkinian&diff=94224King Harkinian2010-10-18T19:52:08Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{char}}<br />
{{featured}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=King Harkinian<br />
|image=4fourIV.jpg<br />
|shows=The Legend of Zelda<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=54<br />
|occupation=King of Hyrule<br />
|cast=<br />
|nationality=Danish<br />
}}<br />
'''King Harkinian''', better known as simply '''The King''', is the noble ruler of the land of [[Hyrule]] and one of the most famous characters in the [[YouTube Poop]] universe. He loves talking to and about [[Mah boi|his boi,]] [[Link]]. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, [[Duke Onkled]]. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of [[Ganon]], but when the king was rescued by [[Zelda]], he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.<br />
<br />
==Early Life==<br />
[[Image:The-Kings-Parents-1945.jpg|thumb|The King's parents.]]<br />
Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg.<br />
<br />
==Areas of Expertise==<br />
*The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, [[dinner]], or certain [[Cum|bodily fluids]].<br />
*The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill.<br />
*The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst [[Wario]] Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit.<br />
*He rocks at Guitar Hero. [[Zelda]] dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.<br />
*He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but [[Gay Luigi]] keeps interrupting him. [[M. Bison]] thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and [[Glutko]] thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.<br />
*Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube.<br />
*It is rumored that he trained [[Xuchilbara]] in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.<br />
*[[Vorhias]] managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.<br />
*It is heavily suspected The King is a hard [[BOOZE|drinker]]. He usually drinks when talking about his "[[Link|boy]]", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time. <br />
*The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in [[Hyrule]]. The other person is [[Link]].<br />
*The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving.<br />
*Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]], eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly [[Rick Roll|Rick Rolled]] The King every time he tried to eat.<br />
*Before he became the King of [[Hyrule]], he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called ''"[[Adolf Hitler|Mein Junge]]."'' He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.<br />
*He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his [[ship]]. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.<br />
*The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a [[Triforce]] symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian. <br />
*During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door.<br />
* His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting [[Impa]] who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while [[Link|someone]] uses the [[Book of Koridai]]. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals. <br />
*It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]] get captured during the night by [[Ganon]], and he's always leaving on useless trips to [[Gamelon]] where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still!<br />
*Over the years, Harkinian has collected many strange and dangerous weapons and vehicles. He owns the "Dinner Blaster", a devastating Weapon of Mass [[Destruction|DIE]], which was made [illegal]] in the United YTP Islands conference. What the Dinner Blaster does is disputed, some say it shoots [[cheeseburger]]s which make you extremely fat, providing they don't lnock your head off. Others say that it can do that and convert into a chaingun. The reason why the effect of the Dinner Blaster is disputed is because Harkinian keeps altering it and making upgraded versions. [[Dr Robotnik]], [[Fat Mario]], [[Gay Luigi]] and [[Link]] have all suffered the effects of the Dinner Blaster. The King also owns many Flying Saucers and armed [[Zeppe|Zeppe]][[lins|German]].<br />
*The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by [[The Food Loving King|that other king]], until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years. <br />
{{vid|mUZcqomD_YY}}<br />
{{vid|Io9hqmP9UTo}}<br />
[[Image:King Christmas card.JPG|thumb|300px|Season's greetings from the king.]]<br />
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|The King, [[Link]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]<br />
{{vid|m73qRnCsdFM}}<br />
[[Image:5292 1165786834126 1511575173 457031 2729346 n.jpg|thumb|right|The King in real life]]<br />
{{vid|9jQ1k92JnUw}}<br />
[[Image:STRIVEFOR01245-1.png|frame|The King's eye problem, similar to that of [[Mayor Kravindish]].]]<br />
[[Image:The-King-driving-his-Desoto.jpg|thumb|right|The King in his 1946 DeSoto.]]<br />
===Drug Abuse===<br />
Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and [[Sonic]] were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of [[Sonic Sez]] as a special guest to say the word weed. We're not sure whether he's cured or not, but he's definately stopped...for now.<br />
<br />
==Likes==<br />
*[[Dinner]]<br />
*Food<br />
*[[Link]]<br />
*Arguing with [[Zelda]]<br />
*Torturing [[Duke Onkled]]<br />
*Dancing with [[Ganon]]<br />
*Saying "[[My Boy]]"<br />
*His pet platypus<br />
*Telling people to [[scrub]] stuff.<br />
*[[Laughing]]<br />
*Taking constant trips to Gamelon.<br />
*Evanescence<br />
*[[KFC]]<br />
*His Ship<br />
*The number [[4]]<br />
*Playing his Wii.<br />
*[[No|His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!]]<br />
*Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work<br />
*Duke Onkled's Diner<br />
*[[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]<br />
*Guitar Hero<br />
*His cars<br />
*[[Scatman]]<br />
*Mad Men (The TV series)<br />
*[[Whinefeld]] (He thinks it's funny. Strange, considering that [[Robin]] thought that it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen.)<br />
*Cars (The Movie)<br />
*Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)<br />
*Fishing<br />
*Giving unreasonable demands<br />
<br />
==Dislikes==<br />
*Not having dinner<br />
*[[Ganon]]<br />
*[[Zelda]], however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking [[sex]] from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.<br />
*[[Snacks]]<br />
*[[Potato chips]]<br />
*[[Froggo]]<br />
*Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)<br />
*The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon<br />
*[[Big Cheese]] (See Zeus)<br />
*Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)<br />
*His other pet Fluffy.<br />
*[[Communist|Tra]][[German|bants]] (he says that they are pieces of [[shit]].)<br />
*[[Willy Wonka]] (he is causing children to not eat their [[dinner]]).<br />
*Squadala Burger<br />
*Gwonam's Pizzeria<br />
*Hamlet<br />
*Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]])<br />
*Rock Band ([[Link]] plays it all the time)<br />
*Rosebud Frozen Peas<br />
*Blotto Bros. Wine<br />
*[[I. Fleecem]] (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1957).<br />
*[[Gwonam]] once showed him 2 girls 1 cup. During it, he puked, and [[Gwonam]] laughed at the king's misery. He sentenced [[Gwonam]] to scrub the floor where he threw up. [[Gwonam]] said it was worth it.<br />
*Slamming his penis in a door.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|MAH BOI!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Four!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I wonder what's for dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You're finally becoming a man, [[My Boy|boy]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|After you [[scrub]] all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMM...how can [[Wii|we]] help?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Zelda, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Did somebody say "dinner"?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|ENOUGH!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|My [[ship]] sails in the morning.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You saved me!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], I'm under attack by the evil forces of [[Ganon]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit, what's for my [[fuck]]ing dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[I]] saved myself!!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], [[I]]'m always talking about [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Link]], [[I]] ate fish for [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.}}<br />
[[Image:Laugh4.gif|frame|right|The King and [[Zelda|his daughter]] after seeing his own article.]]<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk about time to me, boy!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to get dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:King Harkinian}}<br />
[[Category:CD-i]]<br />
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Fat Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Royal Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Internet Memes]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Militaristic People]]<br />
[[Category:Hyrule]]<br />
[[Category:Powerful Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Kings]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=Wizardheimer&diff=94179Wizardheimer2010-10-17T21:12:26Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{char}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=Wizardheimer<br />
|image=Ghosts-r-us 047 1 0001.jpg<br />
|shows=Super Mario World<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=115<br />
|occupation=Eeevil koopa wizard<br />
|nationality=German<br />
|cast=<br />
}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:WizardheimerSonicFanAIDS.png|right|thumb|Wizardheimer being tortured by shitty Sonic recolors.]] <br />
'''Wizardheimer''' (B. 1895) is an overweight, old and eeeevil Koopa Wizard who holds people prisoners in the dungeon of his haunted house, located in a haunted woods, for no apparent reason.<br />
His favourite pastime is slaughtering everyone in sight, which he does with gusto, often cackling in a deluded manner the whole time. Often called an [[eggs|eggface]], he once tried to take over the Youtube poop world with a [[seizure]] spell.<br />
He despises [[Stone Luigi|people who get his name wrong]]. Only Wizardheimer and [[Jafar]] know where the Cave of [[Uctions]] rests.<br />
<br />
==List of Known Spells==<br />
*Bob-ombius: Generates Bob-ombs.<br />
*Plungum: Forces people to plunge themselves into warp pipes.<br />
*BAAH: Fires geometric shapes at unsuspecting passerbys.<br />
*Volvicia: Revives the [[die|dead]] (With ginseng and guarana.).<br />
*Labyrinthin: Creates labyrinths within books; taught to his [[I.M. Meen (character)|protege]].<br />
*Whateveryousaycaverat: Warps [[Oogtar|annoying cave kids]] into the dungeon.<br />
*Capapillus: Brings anal beads to life as [[Caterpillars]].<br />
*Shoopuswhoopus: Huge laser beam. Shares this power with ♥♪!? (aka Geno).<br />
*Yaegghead: Turns the victim into an [[Eggs|egg]]. Shares this power with Yoshi.<br />
*Koopasez: Hypnotizes target into exercising.<br />
*Psychic: 90 power, 100 accuracy, 10 PP, chance of lowering Sp.Def.<br />
*Deleo-mens: Erases the mind. A spell that he invented, patented, and sold to the [[Men in Black]].<br />
*Mugio-aevum: De-ages victim by X years (x=number mentioned). Another patented invention of his.<br />
*Mogio-eevum: Opposite of Mugio-aevum.<br />
*Magio-oevum: Changes victim's gender. If the victim becomes a female, chance of impregnating victim.<br />
*Hamburger (can be said in any way and one's wand would still understand it): Summons Inspector Closeau<br />
*[[Cheeseburger]]: A variation of the above that summons [[Aran Ryan]].<br />
*Youguysareinbigtrouble: Automatically punishes victims for no apparent reason, based on user's Charisma.<br />
*Pokemonus: Turns the victim into a Pokemon. Can be used either alone or in the second part of a spell.<br />
*Abrakadiarrhea: Causes the victim to shit their pants with liquid diarrhea.<br />
*Avada Kedavra: Instant death. One of the three Unforgivable Curses.<br />
*Humbug: Kills Santa Claus. Great torture device.<br />
<br />
===Formerly used spells ===<br />
Wizardheimer appears to have retired these spells:<br />
*Marijuana: [[Magic Drugs]] effect. Dead/nonexistent/[[illegal]].<br />
*Zabacabadabra: Transforms user into a green tile; learned from [[Jafar]], but is never used due to being useless (outside of ''Tetris Attack'').<br />
<br />
==Likes==<br />
*Killing everything<br />
*Laughing all the way,HAHAHA!<br />
*Causing untold misery and strife<br />
*His magic wand; without it he's powerless<br />
*Destruction<br />
*Attacking [[Mario]]<br />
*Turning people into eggs<br />
*Putting people in his dungeon<br />
*[[Thrakkorzog]] (Was his roommate in college.)<br />
*Scaring Yoshi<br />
*Raping Yoshi<br />
*Scaraping Yoshi<br />
*Anal beads<br />
*Vibrating anal beads<br />
*[[Eggs|Omelettes]]<br />
*[[Michael Jackson]] (Everyone does)<br />
*[[Aran Ryan|Maniac]] [[Luigi|Mansion]] on the [[Nintendo]][[Good| Entertainment System]].<br />
[[Image:Ghosts-r-us 007.jpg|frame|right|Wizardheimer's deformed brother.]]<br />
<br />
==Dislikes==<br />
*Unsatisfying anal beads<br />
*People knocking on his door<br />
*Toasters<br />
*Being called an eggface<br />
*[[Stone Luigi]]<br />
*[[Oogtar]]<br />
*Being renamed [[No|Kamek]]<br />
*Everyone, including [[you]]<br />
*Anyone who doesn't get his name right<br />
*[[The Purple Pervert]]<br />
*Unauthorized use of his copyrighted and patented spells<br />
<br />
== See also: ==<br />
*[[Transvestite Wizards]]<br />
*[[King Koopa|Koopa]]<br />
*[[Meatman]]<br />
*[[Hektad]]<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
*He is responsible for creating [[Caterpillars]], which were originally a brand of anal beads.<br />
<br />
*It's constantly argued if he claims he's named "Wizenheimer" or "Wizardheimer". For this sake, people just call him both.<br />
<br />
*Is a popular figure in [[YTPMV]]s.<br />
<br />
*He knows how to speak Spanish with a delightful Spanish accent.<br />
<br />
*He is from South [[Philadelphia]], and learned all of his magic on the Philly streets.<br />
<br />
*He killed somebody once in Philly with his magic.<br />
<br />
*He recently became a human for some reason and actually helped Mario and his friends drive [[King Koopa]] out of Cumalot.<br />
<br />
*It is written, only he can defeat Mr. Koopas.<br />
<br />
*Wizardheimer was to appear in Mario Kart 64; however, he was rejected because he couldn't stop throwing the development staff into his dungeon, so he was replaced with Donkey Kong.<br />
<br />
*He's smarter than the average Koopa.<br />
<br />
*He's a member of the [[KKK]].<br />
<br />
*In 1976, he resurrected [[Dry Bones]] with the Volvicia spell. Dry Bones' body was found at the bottom of the Lackawana River in 1975 after [[Die|dying]] 20 years earlier of liver failure and [[BOOZE|alcohol poisoning]]. His flesh was turned into oil, however, which is why he only has a skeleton. He was ressurected because [[King Koopa]] needed troops.<br />
<br />
*In 1989, he [[Phoenix Wright|sued]] [[Mama Luigi]] for unauthorized use of a de-aging spell and a mind-erasing spell, both of which he had created and patented in 1958, on Yoshi, so that she could revise history. The judge ruled in favour of Wizardheimer, and ruled that Mama Luigi must cease with the magic, and pay him $[[1295.31]] in damages.<br />
<br />
==Weaknesses==<br />
*[[Viacom]]<br />
*Being jumped on<br />
*Dark, Bug, and Ghost attacks<br />
<br />
==Death==<br />
*Wizardheimer was reported to have [[DIE|died]] at 9:26PM on May 19, 2009 when he was trying to send a hex to his [[Goronu|arch rival]]. He got the pronunciation of the spell wrong, which caused his wand to explode, killing him, and injuring [[Iggy Koopa|Iggy]] and [[Lemmy]]. Iggy and Lemmy were in critical condition, but stabilized, and have since been released from the hospital. [[I.M. Meen (character)|I.M. Meen]], his pupil, saved him with a bottle of Volvic Revive, and Wizardheimer once again ravages the world.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
*"Now! Plunge yourselves into that warp pipe!"<br />
*"How do ya feel about BOB-OMBS?"<br />
*"BOB-OMBS?"<br />
*"Welcome to the dungeon of my haunted house, plumb-scum!"<br />
*"Thats Wizardheimer! WIIIIIIIIIZARD-heimer!"<br />
*"Because, Im an eeeeevil Koopa Wizard!"<br />
*"I just LOVE to have people over to...HANG AROUND!"<br />
*"What do you want, you prehistoric punk?!"<br />
*"You ridiculous runt of a reptile!"<br />
*"Take THIS, lizard lips!"<br />
*"My magic wand! Ohhhhh...without it I'm powerless!"<br />
*"Give me that wand back, yoooouuuu green-faced glutton! ...YOW!"<br />
*"Hey, watch where you're going, EGGHEAD!"<br />
*"YOU ARE!"<br />
*"Sooo, what do you have to say NOW, egghead?"<br />
*"Nyeuhehehehuhuhuhuh!"<br />
*"THAT'S WWWWWWWIZARDHEIMER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER!!!!"<br />
*"I crown you, royal egghead!"<br />
*"Oh, fuck you, Luigi!"<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wizardheimer}}<br />
[[Category:Evil Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Transvestites]]<br />
[[Category:Race Car Drivers]]<br />
[[Category:Pedophiles]]<br />
[[Category:Dicks]]<br />
[[Category:Elderly Characters]]<br />
[[Category:College Graduates]]</div>Snodgrasshttps://chewiki.youchew.net/w/index.php?title=King_Harkinian&diff=94178King Harkinian2010-10-17T19:18:19Z<p>Snodgrass: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{char}}<br />
{{featured}}<br />
{{CharBox<br />
|name=King Harkinian<br />
|image=4fourIV.jpg<br />
|shows=The Legend of Zelda<br />
|sex=Male<br />
|age=54<br />
|occupation=King of Hyrule<br />
|cast=<br />
|nationality=Danish<br />
}}<br />
'''King Harkinian''', better known as simply '''The King''', is the noble ruler of the land of [[Hyrule]] and one of the most famous characters in the [[YouTube Poop]] universe. He loves talking to and about [[Mah boi|his boi,]] [[Link]]. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, [[Duke Onkled]]. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of [[Ganon]], but when the king was rescued by [[Zelda]], he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.<br />
<br />
==Early Life==<br />
[[Image:The-Kings-Parents-1945.jpg|thumb|The King's parents.]]<br />
Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg.<br />
<br />
==Areas of Expertise==<br />
*The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, [[dinner]], or certain [[Cum|bodily fluids]].<br />
*The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill.<br />
*The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst [[Wario]] Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit.<br />
*He rocks at Guitar Hero. [[Zelda]] dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.<br />
*He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but [[Gay Luigi]] keeps interrupting him. [[M. Bison]] thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and [[Glutko]] thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.<br />
*Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube.<br />
*It is rumored that he trained [[Xuchilbara]] in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.<br />
*[[Vorhias]] managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.<br />
*It is heavily suspected The King is a hard [[BOOZE|drinker]]. He usually drinks when talking about his "[[Link|boy]]", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time. <br />
*The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in [[Hyrule]]. The other person is [[Link]].<br />
*The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving.<br />
*Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]], eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly [[Rick Roll|Rick Rolled]] The King every time he tried to eat.<br />
*Before he became the King of [[Hyrule]], he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called ''"[[Adolf Hitler|Mein Junge]]."'' He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.<br />
*He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his [[ship]]. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.<br />
*The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a [[Triforce]] symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian. <br />
*During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door.<br />
* His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting [[Impa]] who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while [[Link|someone]] uses the [[Book of Koridai]]. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals. <br />
*It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets [[Princess Zelda|Zelda]] get captured during the night by [[Ganon]], and he's always leaving on useless trips to [[Gamelon]] where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still!<br />
*The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by [[The Food Loving King|that other king]], until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years. <br />
{{vid|mUZcqomD_YY}}<br />
{{vid|Io9hqmP9UTo}}<br />
[[Image:King Christmas card.JPG|thumb|300px|Season's greetings from the king.]]<br />
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|The King, [[Link]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]<br />
{{vid|m73qRnCsdFM}}<br />
[[Image:5292 1165786834126 1511575173 457031 2729346 n.jpg|thumb|right|The King in real life]]<br />
{{vid|9jQ1k92JnUw}}<br />
[[Image:STRIVEFOR01245-1.png|frame|The King's eye problem, similar to that of [[Mayor Kravindish]].]]<br />
[[Image:The-King-driving-his-Desoto.jpg|thumb|right|The King in his 1946 DeSoto.]]<br />
===Drug Abuse===<br />
Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and [[Sonic]] were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of [[Sonic Sez]] as a special guest to say the word weed.<br />
<br />
==Likes==<br />
*[[Dinner]]<br />
*Food<br />
*[[Link]]<br />
*Arguing with [[Zelda]]<br />
*Torturing [[Duke Onkled]]<br />
*Dancing with [[Ganon]]<br />
*Saying "[[My Boy]]"<br />
*His pet platypus<br />
*Telling people to [[scrub]] stuff.<br />
*[[Laughing]]<br />
*Taking constant trips to Gamelon.<br />
*Evanescence<br />
*[[KFC]]<br />
*His Ship<br />
*The number [[4]]<br />
*Playing his Wii.<br />
*[[No|His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!]]<br />
*Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work<br />
*Duke Onkled's Diner<br />
*[[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]<br />
*Guitar Hero<br />
*His cars<br />
*[[Scatman]]<br />
*Mad Men (The TV series)<br />
*[[Whinefeld]] (He thinks it's funny. Strange, considering that [[Robin]] thought that it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen.)<br />
*Cars (The Movie)<br />
*Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)<br />
*Fishing<br />
*Giving unreasonable demands<br />
<br />
==Dislikes==<br />
*Not having dinner<br />
*[[Ganon]]<br />
*[[Zelda]], however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking [[sex]] from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.<br />
*[[Snacks]]<br />
*[[Potato chips]]<br />
*[[Froggo]]<br />
*Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)<br />
*The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon<br />
*[[Big Cheese]] (See Zeus)<br />
*Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)<br />
*His other pet Fluffy.<br />
*[[Communist|Tra]][[German|bants]] (he says that they are pieces of [[shit]].)<br />
*[[Willy Wonka]] (he is causing children to not eat their [[dinner]]).<br />
*Squadala Burger<br />
*Gwonam's Pizzeria<br />
*Hamlet<br />
*Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]])<br />
*Rock Band ([[Link]] plays it all the time)<br />
*Rosebud Frozen Peas<br />
*Blotto Bros. Wine<br />
*[[I. Fleecem]] (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1957).<br />
*[[Gwonam]] once showed him 2 girls 1 cup. During it, he puked, and [[Gwonam]] laughed at the king's misery. He sentenced [[Gwonam]] to scrub the floor where he threw up. [[Gwonam]] said it was worth it.<br />
*Slamming his penis in a door.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|MAH BOI!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Four!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I wonder what's for dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You're finally becoming a man, [[My Boy|boy]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|After you [[scrub]] all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMM...how can [[Wii|we]] help?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Zelda, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Did somebody say "dinner"?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|ENOUGH!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|My [[ship]] sails in the morning.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|You saved me!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], I'm under attack by the evil forces of [[Ganon]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk shit, what's for my [[fuck]]ing dinner?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[I]] saved myself!!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Zelda]], [[I]]'m always talking about [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|[[Link]], [[I]] ate fish for [[dinner]].}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.}}<br />
[[Image:Laugh4.gif|frame|right|The King and [[Zelda|his daughter]] after seeing his own article.]]<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk about time to me, boy!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|I'm going to get dinner!}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?}}<br />
{{poopquote|King Harkinian|Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:King Harkinian}}<br />
[[Category:CD-i]]<br />
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Fat Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Royal Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Internet Memes]]<br />
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]<br />
[[Category:Militaristic People]]<br />
[[Category:Hyrule]]<br />
[[Category:Powerful Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Kings]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]<br />
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]</div>Snodgrass