Chewiki Archive - YouChew - User contributions [en]

Chad Warden

2011-08-16T22:47:41Z

Shanted: /* Fun Facts */

{{character}}
{{media}}
{{CharBox
|name=Chadwardenn
|image=Chadwarden.jpg
|shows=Youtube
|noaddshows=yes
|sex=Male
|age=
|occupation=Playstation 3 Fanboy/Gay Nigga
|cast=Charley M. Warden
|nationality=
}}

Sir Charley M. Warden is quite possibly the greatest man/troll who ever walked the face of the Earth. He participated in some missionary work a while back, spreading the belief that the [[Playstation 3|PS TRIPPLE]] is better than the [[Wii]] and [[Xbox 360]]. Whether or not this is true, he completely [[fuck]]ed up his reasoning by making weird noises and talking about wiping his ass with a dildo.

On March 13, 2007 Chad Wardenn posted a vlog video '''Why [[Playstation 3|PS3]] is better than the [[Wii]] and [[Xbox 360|360]]''' in which he used his laid back urban street talk to discuss the difference between the consoles. It was an unremarkable video and yet it hit the crest of the wave youtube users were seeking more information about said machines.

As of March 30, 2008, practically an entire year after doing his video for the Playstation 3, he did one more video that involved him going to a place that serves sushi and [[no|hanging out with his friends.]] [[No]]thing worth of value was involved in that video, other that an illusion of him [[yes|sucking dick.]] [[No]]wadays, however, we have [[no]] clue what he's doing at all and he's presumed to be [[die|dead]] [[no|at this point to the Internet.]]
{{vid|Eo5rSIdfVOU}}
{{vid|XFna-ur1HT0}}
[[Image:Demo.PNG|thumb|right|[[Demoman]] after watching the [[retard|retardation]] of Chad Warden talking about how the [[Playstation 3]] is better then the [[Xbox 360]] & the [[Nintendo Wii]].]]

==Death?==
Ever since that video, there has been a rumor that Chad got killed by [[Angry German Kid|some pissed off German kid]] who thought his videos suck ass. Caught on the German Kid's CCTV was him taking a keyboard and whacking Chad to death. Strangely, Chad's body has never been found, if he was killed that is.
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bN5ZeKVCZ0]

Another video shows the same kid shooting Chad Warden's [[Your face|face]]. Chad Warden [[die|dies]] afterwards.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZzHSo2z52o]]

==Posessions==

*A Dildo (Deal Dough)
*Ps-Triple
*An Escalade
*Sushi
*Wario Ware Shove up yo' ass game
*Niggas
*[[Anti-Uctions|Action 52]]

==Likes==

*Tru Niggas
*Ps Triple
*His Caddy
*Final Fantasy 7
*Sushi
*His Slick Black Hair
*Dealing Dough
*[[Shit|High School Musical]]
*[[Kaz Hirai]]
*Spending 599 U.S. Dollars (US$ 599) on a PS3
*His 3mm long [[dick]]
*BALLIN'
*[[The Jonas Brothers]]
*The Chintendo Vii
*Giant enemy crabs
*Parties with shrooms.
*Rappers Fighting
*50 Cent
*Lil' Jon
[[Image:Baaaaaaaaaaaalinsp4.jpg|thumb|right|Well, that about sums it up.]]
==Dislikes==
*The [[Legend of Zelda]] Series
*[[Link|That Little Bitch]]
*And His Little Bitch-Ass [[Sword]]
*And His Little Shield
*And He Goes HEH-HEH-HEH
*The [[Wario]]-Ware Series
*The [[Nintendo]] [[Wii]]
*The XBOX Circle (He never did too well in Geometry)
*[[Halo|GAYLO 3]]
*Tears of War
*[[Mario]] Party (Cause he don't smoke [[illegal|shrooms]] and shit.)
*That One Little Fat Bitch
*[[Lex Luthor]]
*[[Anti-Uctions|Action 52]]
*[[Oogtar]]

==Fun Facts==
*He's gay.
*He likes to have [[Sex]] with the PS Triple.
*He has had sex with [[Naruto]].
*He's gay!
*He has had sex with [[Soulja Boy|Retard]].
*He has an I.Q. of -1.
*He molests [[Godofgta3]].
*He has NO friends.
*His parents hate him.
*He's also a [[Soulja Boy]] [[penis|Dick]] Ryda.
*Did I forget to mention that he's gay?
*Chad Warden was once nominated as Biggest Douche in the Universe, and he won, narrowly beating John Edwards.
*[[King Dedede]] looks down on him with shame.
*Catchphrase is, "Man's best friend, huh?" Coined after he got fed up with every single dog he meets biting the stub of a [[Penis]] he has.
*Has a crush on [[Gaspra]], who is obviously way too good for him.
*Has been compared to [[Gay Luigi]] combined with the force of [[anti-Uctions]].
*He likes [[gay]] [[niggas]].
*His biggest fantasy is to have sex with Kaz Hirai, even though Kaz is no nigga.
*He aint talkin' about dat [[Wii]].
*When he says Action 52, he says it as "AC-shit fitty 2".
*He most likely downloaded Final Fantasy VII and probably Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 off the [[Playstation 3]]'s Playstation Network.
*Knows the secret ingridients to [[bad medicine]]

==Often Used By==

*[[Conrad Slater]]
*[[Seconteen]]
*[[PeskeyPlumber]] (Gameboy version)
*[[RetardedAnimeParodyX]]
*[[Mmb101]]
*[http://youtube.com/user/Drkneegrow lololthisguy]
*[[tinywnorth]]
*[[Deepercutt]]
*[[LACOSAM]]
*All those who believe that the [[Nintendo]] [[Wii]] and/or the [[Xbox 360]] are really better than the [[Playstation 3]].
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chad Warden}}
[[Category:Africans]]
[[Category:Gay Characters]]
[[Category:Real People]]
[[Category:Pedophiles]]
[[Category:Internet Memes]]
[[Category:YouTubers]]
[[Category:Dicks]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2011-08-16T22:17:38Z

Shanted: /* People Who Like Him */

{{char}}
{{CharBox
|name=Sonic the Hedgehog
|image=Sonic 04.jpg
|shows=Sonic the Hedgehog
|sex=Male
|age=15
|occupation=Fastest thing alive
|cast=[[Steve Urkel|Jaleel White]]/Ryan Drummond/[[Shadow the Hedgehog|Jason Anthony Griffith]]/Roger Craig Smith/Junichi Kanemaru/[[Dragon Ball|Takeshi]] [[Guilty Gear|Kusao]]
}}
Sonic is the mascot for [[SEGA]]. Despite him having an incredibly unpleasable and indecisive fanbase, [[SuperYoshi]] has stated on various occasions that Sonic is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than those pussies [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] and [[Silver the Hedgehog|Silver]], instead preferring chili dogs.

==Biography==
[[Image:THATS_NO_GOOD.png‎|thumb|right|THAT'S NO GOOD!]]
:''It was about this high, it was blue, and it looked like a freak.'' ~Anonymous policeman. 
Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Sonico, Mr. Needlemouse, Cinos, (Dat) Hedgehog and other names) was born and raised in West [[Philadelphia]] until a couple of badniks, who were up to no good, started making trouble in Green Hill. He got in one little fight and Amy got scared and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Scrap Brain." He whistled for a cab and when it came near, he gave it the middle finger. If anything, he could have said that this cab was Tails, so he went "THAT'S NO GOOD."
[[Image:NOWYOURAMAN.JPG|thumb|left|Sonic becomes [[Linkara|A MAN]] in his Super form.]] He pulled up to Metropolis Zone at approximately 7 or 8 to claim his throne as the prince of the video game industry. Also throughout his entire career, Sonic has been in the porn industry...Yep...Look it up anywhere, I ain't lyin...

==Crimes==
Is believed to have assassinated [[John Lennon]]. What a fag.

He killed [[Mario]] by ejaculating on him in super form. Sonic's semen was highly acidic and it destroyed Mario's skin.

==Quotes==
{{poopquote|Sonic|EXACTLY!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|LET'S SHIT!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|That's no good.}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|You're too slow!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|URRNGH! I'm MasturBAAAAAAATIIIIIIING!!!}}
[[Image:Robbed.gif|thumb|right|Sonic just realizing something.]]
[[Image:Everyonehatesonic.gif‎|right|frame|This happens to Sonic a lot nowadays.]]
{{poopquote|Sonic|Tails is just like a little kid with his new toy.}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|SHUT UP TAILS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Too easy! Piece of cay-ache!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|SHIT! Let's go!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|He's just a piece o' cheesy hardware!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Let's rock!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Whatcha see is whatcha get! I'm just a guy who loves adventure! I'm ''Sonic the Hedgehog!!''}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|They might even open the gates of [[hell]]!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Damn, they got away!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Maybe I could've, but I didn't, didn't I?}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|SPEED BREAK!!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|TIME BREAK!!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|I'm Sonic the Kidnapper!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|You might know everything I'm going to do, but that's not going to help you since I know everything your going to do! STRANGE, ISN'T IT!?}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Hey! THAT'S MY LINE!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Don't worry, I'll be out before you know it's funny.}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Whoops! Time to make a U-turn!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|I told you, I'm not a rat! I'm a HEDGEHOG!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Hey, Kids! [[Dr. Rabbit|Strangers]] may offer you all sorts of things to get [[you]] to [[cum|come]] with them, [[Nostalgia Critic|like movies, magical tickets, and a lot of other horseshit,]] but chances are that [[Dr. Rabbit|they're]] just trying to touch your bathing suit area, and that's [[no]] [[good]]!!! So if a [[Dr. Rabbit|stranger]], especially Robert Prodsky tries to touch [[you]]r [[penis|chili dog]], just get outta there!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|They can't live me up!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|See Korean, I told you we'd make it in the 'he did not meet the agent.'}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|My brain, you know it going to [[die]].}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Let's make like [[Dr. Eggman|Eggman's]] hairline and recede!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|That tornado's carrying a car!}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|Watch out! You're gonna crash!! ah.}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|I'll just stick with "aliens", if that's okay with everybody.}}
{{poopquote|Sonic|You have a problem learning how to read!}}

==Likes==
*Chili Dogs
*[[Princess Sally]]
*[[Amy Rose]]
*[[Breezie]]
*[[Braveheart|Freedom]]
*[[Tails]][[Image:SonicMarioParty.jpg‎|thumb|right|Sonic before Sonic Shuffle. ]]
*Himself
*Relaxing
*[[Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]]
*Being a DJ.
*[[Masturbation|Masturbating]]
*Tormenting Dr. Robotnik
*[[Namco]] (especially their ''Soulcalibur'' and ''Klonoa'' games)
*Tumble-dryers
*Hogging hedges

{{vid|3dK2XLCzXdY}}

==Hates==
*Water (unless it's in a glass)
**Swimming
*[[Robotnik]]
*[[Silver the Hedgehog]]
*[[SNK]] (Even though they collaborated at least once.)
*Chip
*[[Sonic Underground]] (He insists that [[DiC]] made it without his permission.)
*Shaymin
*People who think he's [[gay]].
*His unpleasable fanbase.
*Eggman's copyright laws.

==People Who Like Him==
[[Image:HEY_SONIC_by_advancedq.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic with one of his fanboys.]]

[[Image:Normal Prevails 079.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic the Hedgehog during his 18th birthday.]]
*[[DaftPunkYoshi]]
*[[MegaGlassguy]]
*[[Amy Rose]]
*[[Princess Sally]]
*[[Sara]]
*[[Mario]] (sometimes)
*[[Ninja Coach Z]]
*[[Fiddlesticks411]]
*Shahra
*Sackboy (Loves [[Furry|dressing up like Sonic and his friends.]])
*Everyone who bought the game and enjoyed it.
*Cool people
*Heck, pretty much everybody in general.
*People who say they hate him.
*Sonic fags mostly nowadays

==People Who Hate Him==
Sonic believes he is cool and popular, but there are actually quite a bit of people who have expressed disdain for him. Among those who have said they "hate that hedgehog":

[[Image:Classicsonic.jpg|right|160px|Sonic]]

* [[Dr. Robotnik]]
* [[Dr. Eggman]]
* Erazor Djinn
* Deedee from ''[[Dexter's Laboratory]]''
* [[Shredder]]
* Grouchy Smurf
* Ozu
* Mr. Grumpy (duh!)
* Mr. Clean
* [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] (In a rival hate way)
* [[Mario]] (the rest of the time)
* Classic Sonic fans (Again, unpleasable.)
* [[Solid Snake]] (though he can't explain why)

==Trivia==
[[Image:16 fanart sonicgottagofast.gif|thumb|left|An artist's common rendition of Sonic.]]
{{vid|2jSKyWSvNgg}}
*He loves tumble dryers.
*Has a giant ego. [http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d17/CaptainKRool/4-Showoff.jpg No really.]
*He is a pyromaniac.
*Believes that there's fire where there's smoke.
*He's trapped in there.
*He had a reputation of helping kids learn things about life in a short segment called Sonic Sez, although after an absurd confession to Tails, he lost it and decided to instead teach people about how sex and drugs are cool. Sonic Sez is now the most viewed show in the world, topping all of the existing charts, and being downloaded by billions every minute.
*He is a pervert.
*Has the power to go Super.
*He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a [[Steve Urkel|local black kid]] to him. He later got his own voice back though... and then Sega forced him to change it again. Oy.
*Has a brother called Awesome Possum.
*He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression.
[[Image:Sequels1a.jpg|frame|right|The list of sequels Sonic The Hedgehog has done.]]
*Lost a lot of weight between the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive and the Sega Dreamcast eras.
*He has a partnership with Tex Avery.
*Did he put a tube in his mouth? LMAO?
*He once called a male drug abusing rabbit a [[Lesbian|dyke]].
*During his time in court, Sonic admitted he only lip synches the [[Sonic Underground]] songs and that it's [[Edd]] who does all the singing for him.
*If he masturbates too much he turns into his Werehog form, as seen in Sonic Unleashed. This form is filled with primal fury and an excess of guilt.
*Is now currently working in porno movies to help him get over his problems. (If only he knew that it'd make them even worse.)
*Was [[one]] of [[three]] video game characters to appear as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade's balloon (the other was <s>Mario</s> [[Pikachu]]). Unfortunately, his balloon hit a pole and popped.
*Might be related to [[Don Patch]].
*May or may [[no]]t be [[Aladdin]].
*Also once used a [[sword]] for battle against the Black Knight.
*Recently had experience with [[Magic Drugs]]-carrying aliens. His fanbase seemed to enjoy it.
*Thankfully, he decided to [[Yes|go back to 2-D before it's too late for him.]]
*Shadow once stole his line. What's funny is that Sonic has never said the line in question throughout his entire life.
*He believes you can't catch him, at least not until the fall of [[1993|'93]].
*He cannot play [[baseball]].
*His 90's self and current self will meet in the future... think about ''that'', why don't ya.
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]
[[Category:Pedophiles]]
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]
[[Category:Comic Book Characters]]
[[Category:Anime Characters]]
[[Category:Nostalgia Critic]]
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Athletes]]
[[Category:Fighters]]
[[Category:Olympiads]]
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Super Smash Bros.]]
[[Category:Race Car Drivers]]
[[Category:Sega Characters]]

Twilight

2010-04-21T22:09:50Z

Shanted: /* Disliked By */

{{media}}
Twilight is a totally kawaii story about vampires and love and babies and flowers and puppies/a wave of evil swallowing women whole (barely any surviving in the process) dooming them to be vampire-crazed virgins for ever. [[Hitler|Hitler's]] and [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin's]] armies will work together soon to destroy this [[evil]] called Twilight. Below is a newspaper article that describes the series in detail:

"Vampires have come a long way actually being vampires. They used to be known as horrible, blood-sucking monsters that were shown in gruesome movies that gave kids nightmares for years, which, according to the original myths of vampires, are what vampires are. After being completely forgotten by everyone except goth-enthusiasts, their image has now been whored out to appeal to today's "kawaii" audience. They're average people, just like you and me! I mean, sure, they sleep in coffins (oh wait, no they don't), and they die in sunlight (oh wait, no they don't), and they suck blood (oh wait...do they?), but that doesn't mean we still can't fall in love with them. Having ditched any sense of originality, many of today's authors have decided to cater to the audience by using vampires and long-winded dialogue to appeal to the kawaii-seeking audience in an attempt for quick cash.

By far the most popular vampire story right now is that of Mary Sue and Gary Stu in the fanfiction vampire secks XD by 14 year old Stephanie Meyers. vampire secks XD is about Mary, a typical girl just like you and me who goes shopping and likes clothes and likes boys and wears make up and junk so you should like totally be able to relate, who unexpectedly falls down a plot hole when she sits next to a totally kawaii vampire named Gary in biology class and instantly and inexplicably falls in love with him; however, Gary is not the stereotypical vampire. Unlike most fantasy characters, Gary is unique, in that he has no character whatsoever, and is an absolute blank slate of emotions, completely incapable of self-thought, wanting nothing more than to cater to the every whim of a 13-year-old girl. Because of this, every woman across America wants him as their sex slave, because that's what true love is all about.

'vampire secks XD is so kawaii and awsum XD,' 13-year-old-girl Natalia Vergara said. "i like how setaphine describes ohw hot gayr is, cuz now i just kep reading cuz i wanna see if bela has sex with him ^_^ i wish he ewas my boyfrien,d cuz she totaly doesnt deserve him -_-. also, i think there was somethin gabout vamopires in ther, but i dont rememeber cuz gari's to kawaii :3'

Following in the mediocre critical reception of the first novel, but funded by the thousands of dollars of horny schoolgirls, Meyers wrote three more fanfictions for the series ending with maraige coms before secks -_- which went over the heads of everyone except the menstruating females.

Although Meyers wrote the series for 13-year-old-girls, many people, especially closet-case women who secretly wish that they could run away from their deadbeat husbands and go make love with the sweet and sensitive boys of their impossible dreams, share the same lust for the kawaii vampires :3 series.

'Being completely unexposed to the rest of the world as I have lived in a failed reality brought forth by my life's harsh disappointments, therefore unable to grasp any literary works other than those that I caught my 13-year-old daughter masturbating to, I found the kawaii vampires :3 series to be very creative. The characters may have been shelled, stereotypical, and without personality, but this new concept of 'vampires', hot boys who cater to your every whim in exchange for a few gallons of blood a day, felt very fresh and new to me. I also found it very romantic to think of having a man to love me even if I was as cloudy-headed as a New Year drunk due to the amount of blood loss. It made me think back to the days when I could let boys grab my breasts, and for them not to caress rusty screws jingling within,' Spanish River parent Marjory Dobbin said. 'I think that this book should be the most popular thing ever, because being with someone forever is more beautiful than anything I can ever imagine. Now if you'll excuse me, my cab is arriving, and if my husband happens to see even a glimpse of it, he'll beat me to a bloody pulp for trying to escape.'

[[Image:Critictwilight.jpg|frame|right|[[Nostalgia Critic|The Nostalgia Critic]] will now become the main star for the third Twilight movie.]]

Along with the series, the first vampire secks XD movie debuts November 21, 2008, three weeks earlier than originally planned. I, along with my gal-pals, will be going to the midnight premiere, bringing our Gary Stu Vibrators®."

YAY!!!!! THIS MOVIE OWN 5 MTV MUSEC VIDYO AWARDZ, INCLUDING BEST MOVIE OF TEH YEAR, WHICH MEANS WE BAET TEH SHIT OUT OF THAT STUPID ASS [[Batman|BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT]] MOVIE!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^_^ XDXDXD
===Liked By===
*Fantards
*Apparently, [[Burger King]]
{{vid|Fkrtk0NCxMo}}
[[Retards|Seriously, who the fuck likes Twilight?]]
===Disliked By===
*[[Gaston]] (see picture)
*[[Chester A. Bum]]
*People with enough of a mind to see that Vampires [[No|DON'T]] EXIST!!!
*People who've had [[sex]]
*[[Zant]]
*[[Angry Video Game Nerd|The Angry Video Game Nerd]] for the "Twilight Line" in Comic-Con 2009 that ruined his chance for seeing the first sneak peek of [[Uctions|James Cameron's]] ''"[[Avatar]]."''
*[[Luigi]] (All [[form]]s of him.)
*[[The Nostalgia Critic]]
*[[The Pope]]
*All of [[YouChewPoop]]
*[[Luke Skywalker]]
*[[ThatGuyWithTheGlasses]] (Never Again!)
*[[Nostalgia Critic]]
*People who aren't teenage girls or have an IQ over [[4|four]].
*[[Vega|Real]] [[Dracula|Vampires]].
*[[You]] (Oh, [[Jesus|GOD]], Please!)
*movie critics

===Trivia===
*Did you know after reading/watching Twilight you will dye your hair black/a dark color?
*Did you know the actor who played Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) actually hated Twilight? It's true. He said the book was badly written, unoriginal, and had hints of [[pedophilia]] in it. Of course, several fans chased him down and tried to kill him after what he said. [[God]] bless you Robert Pattinson...
*Despite having the same last name, Edward is not related to [[Optimus Prime|Peter Cullen]]. One key difference is that Edward is [[Understatement|not very cool]], and Peter Cullen is awesome.
*[[User:Crazy Luigi|This Chewiki user]] had a Language Arts teacher who was a Twilight fantard and another Language Arts teacher who actually ''edited''  some of the Twilight books.
<gallery>Image:Garlic.jpg|Eating lots of [[Garlic]] will keep Twilight fangirls and fake vampires away.
Image:Whylight.jpg|[[Luigi]] giving his thoughts about Twilight.
Image:22274 543733726511 42000799 31980451 5543505 n.jpg|A true vampire.
Image:Gastontwilight.jpg|Gaston after reading Twilight.</gallery>

==Links==
*[http://www.youchewpoop.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=33&t=78764 ...what? humour potential? where?]

Dr. Robotnik

2010-03-30T00:31:35Z

Shanted: /* Likes */

{{CharBox
|name=Dr. Ivo Robotnik
|image=Eeeeeevil.jpg
|shows=Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
|sex=Male
|age=42
|occupation=Evil scientist
|cast=[[Long John Baldry]], Gary Chalk, Jim Cummings, Mike Pollock.
}}{{Char}}

[[Image:Picture 1.png|thumb|Robotnik after having one too many chocolate brains.]]
[[Image:SatAMrobotnik.jpg|thumb|Not Robotnik.]]
'''Dr. Ivo Julian Robotnik''' is a highly popular [[Youtube Poop]] character.

He is not to be confused with [[Dr. Eggman]], his evil twin brother from the new-gen [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.

==Career==

Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became [[Super Robotnik]], openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands (with a little help from [[Freakazoid (character)|Freakazoid]]), became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married [[Bill O'Reilly]], possessed [[King Harkinian]]'s body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful [[Chaos Emeralds]], got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of [[Wario]]Ware Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over [[Toon Disney]], and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of Robotnik's emporium. But noone cared so they separated. Sometimes, he makes a living by selling lemonade... ''poisoned'', of course. He once starred in a TV show with Terry Hargon, in which they argued over a letter from Throbbin Screetch. He is also currently the world champion of [[Tekken]] 15: Dark Blood Revenge.

Despite the fact that his parents said that he wouldn't amount to anything, Robotnik has had a very successful career, as you can see.

[[Image:Robotnik30.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik with his giant hand picking up a giant phone.]]

==Presidential Run==

It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an [[Vorhias|elaborately designed]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPfniwoQ_rk campaign video]. No other characters have announced their intentions to run probably except Rudy Larriva, but many are expected to follow suit.

Robotnik won the presidential election by a wide margin in 2008. He plans to run again for the 2010 presidency, and so far it is rumored that [[Lex Luthor]], his long-term rival, will also run against him.

==Likes==
*Himself
*A bucket of chicken [[balls]].
*His [[Robotnik and his Gameboy|Game Boy]]
*[[Travis Touchdown]]'s Beam Katanas
*[[Sex|Fucking With]] [[Scratch]]. (Whether Scratch sucks him orally or Dr. Robotnik does him anally or something similar like that is something that they both don't really matter on.)
[[Image:Image4.jpg|thumb|[[Scratch]]: [[Yes|Dr. Robotnik's current love.]]]]
*The [[Muppet Babies]]
*Eating a wagon wheel
*Going out, out, out the door
*Strawberry Shortcuts
*[[You]]
*[[Porn]]
*The [[KKK]]
*Sprite
*His special [[Super Robotnik]] [[form]].
*Putting out the Bushroot.
*His [[Pingas]]
*[[Soda Popinski|Soda Popinski/Vodka Drunkenski]]
*[[Sex|Sodomy]]
[[Image:Gdfg.png|thumb|right|Him telling [[Scratch|his]] [[Grounder|cro]][[Coconuts|nies]] what he currently has.]]
*[[Morshu|Getting Richer]]
*Being a super genius.
*Having inventions that actually work.
*Blood
*[[Me]] (Especially if the "me" voted for him.)]
*[[Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery|Fat Bastard]], his best friend.
*[[Racism]]
*[[Eggs]]
*Tacos
*[[Lucinda]]
*[[Darkwing Yak]]
*[[Rock TV]]
*Channel DDD
*His bones
*Himself

==Dislikes==
{{vid|K1yneJSJx3E}}
[[Image:RobotnikNo.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik answering [[Scratch]] and [[Grounder]]'s question about them having [[gay]] [[sex]] together.]]
*[[Sonic|THAT HEDGEHOG]]
*[[Mama Luigi]]
*[[Mario]]
*When he loses to [[Froggo]] over a bucket of KFC.
*"That Chimpanzee"
*Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in [[Super Smash Bros. Brawl]].)
*[[Da Bears]]
*[[Insane Clown Posse|Clowns]]
*Snakes
*An alligator who chased him once.
*Spot The Chicken
*Dipstick
*71519
*[[Face]]
*Not being able to say the N-word.
*Action 52 & The Cheetahmen (But who doesn't?)
*[[Animal Soccer World]] & everything Phoenix Games has ever touched.
*[[Pickle Surprise]]
*Every single rebel on Mobius. He wants them all blasted out of existence.
*[[King Harkinian]]
*Some [[Cornflakes]]
[[Image:Icon robokx2.gif|thumb|right|[[PINGAS]]!!!]]
*The House of The Dead: Overkill
*His evil twin [[Dr. Eggman]].
*[[Jesus Christ]]
*[[Smirking Bitch]]
*[[The Jonas Brothers|Those queermos on the Disney Channel.]]
*[[4Kids]]
*Trixie Tang
*The Children's Television Workshop
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[High Voltage]] Software (They're ruining his plan to make the [[Wii|Nintendo Wii]] look like a piece of [[shit]] by making shovelware type of games. To think that this is all because Masahiro Sakurai didn't put him in [[Super Smash Bros. Brawl]]. Now that's sad don't you think?)
*[[Robotnikclaus]], his archrival.
*Shigeru Miyamoto

==Skills==
[[Image:Ghfdgh.png|thumb|right|The infamous picture used for the [[Youtube Poop]] meme called '''"This Video Contains Win!!!"''']]
Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's [[KFC]] nearby.

Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. This was caused after he accepted a part of the Gum-Gum Fruit, offered by [[Luffy]]. He has been known to have [[Laughing Panther|uncontrollable fits of laughter.]]

In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.

He also has the power to give [[promotion]]s. So far, very few have been able to get promotions from him.

Apparently he can blink but it's hard to notice.

His giant ass is so huge that he has to buy custom-built chairs and toilets. His dumps are so enormous that his plumbing pipes must be at least 12 feet wide to avoid clogs.

He can eat and carry 300 pounds of ham.

==Gossip==
[[Image:robotikniks.jpg|thumb|Robotnik while watching gay porn.]]
*It is rumored that [[Scratch]] has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. ''(See: [[ScraBotnik]])''
*Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
*It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with [[Zelda]], himself, and [[Ms. Filkins]] resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
*There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus, but this was disproved when Robotnikclaus revealed himself.
*It's rumored that Sarah is his daughter.
*Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date [[Makoto Kino]], however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
*It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
*In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrounder" and "Groutch". Alas, [[Scrounder]] has been confirmed to really exist recently.
*Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
*When [[Rudy Larriva]] and [[Mama Luigi]] announced [[Hunter Harrison]]'s candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul [[Robotnik Express]] for him.
[[Image:STHCS1.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik's call has just been disconnected... again!]]
*[[Bugs Bunny]] believes Robotnik is Polish.
*Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a [[SatAM|Saturday Morning]] until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
*Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa [[spaghetti]].
*It is rumored that Chowder is his son.
*Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny Asian yellow ranger.
*He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with [[Tails|Sonic's two-tailed little friend]], who he affectionately refers to as MILES.
*Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant.
*Robotnik wants you to touch his [[PENIS|PINGAS]].
*He once had the argument of the century with [[M. Bison]]. Later on in that argument, [[Fat Mario]] and [[Captain Falcon]] would join their respective sides in this argument.
*He's the one who built [[Glados]].
*Dr. Robotnik was considered to be the #7 douchebag of [[Angry Nintendo Nerd|Screwattack's]] Top Ten List of Douchebags. He was ahead of [[Wario]], [[Superman]] (lol, wut?!), and [[Michael Jackson]] (R.I.P. ;_;), yet he failed to defeat the [[Russians|Ruffians from the Viva Pinata series]], [[Burger King|the Burger King himself]], [[Bowser]], [[Metal Gear Solid|Psycho Mantis]], [[Gay Luigi|Jack Thompson]], and the Duck Hunt Dog itself.
*He drove that hedgehog to the fucking moon once.
*He also once had a crazy cousin named Warpnik. Unfortunetly, he's banished into the Warp of Penis so he isn't with us anymore.
*It was confirmed that Dr. Robotnik was a [[Nazi]]/Neo-Nazi, or at least a temporary one.
*It is rumored that before he goes to bed at night he wraps his [[penis|PINGAS]] in strips of bacon. That could also explain why his PINGAS makes other penises be ashamed of themselves.
*Oddly enough, he, along with [[Bowser]] and [[Ganon]], refused to help [[King K. Rool]] seize YouTube Poop in the name of the [[Angry German Kid]].
*He recently tricked the Mario Bros. into killing Sonic for him by planting a forged note from the hedgehog for them to find.
*He once suffered a form of tourette syndrome where Hugh Tasmanian Devil-style rambling and "Peanuts" adult speech got injected in his dialogue.
*Also once made a Strawberry Shortcut and tried to do the [[Pickle Surprise]] once.
*Is rumored to [[Masturbation|masturbate]] the very instant he sees the "DO NOT [[Masturbation|MASTURBATE]]" video. (Subsequentialy, you can see the video on the bottom right here.)
{{vid|QGaNvWI9ZfU}}
*His nose is actually a second [[PENIS]].
*With the help of [[Dracula]], he conquered New Jersey; beating [[Will Smith]] to the punch.
*He and Robotnikclaus recorded a hit single together titled "Piness Piness Pingas Pingas", which Stimpy J. Cat likes to play constantly much to Ren Hoek's displeasure.
*He has been found to have been sexually assulted again, this time by [[Big Cheese]] in 1989, leading to [[Big Cheese]]'s impeachment.
*The [[Nostalgia Critic]] actually once shot his own [[fuck]]ing head off. After he [[die]]d, all of Mobius exploded into a million pieces.
*Enjoys shoving bricks into his eye and eating wrenches.
*He has a small [[PENIS|erection]] when he sees [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic The Hedgehog]] and [[Tails]] [[kiss]] and/or have [[sex]] [[yes|with each other.]]
*He has a part-time job as a kindergarten teacher; however, he frequently gets caught in traffic on his way there.
*Rumored to have a crush on Danny Elfman.
*Rumored to have the most rumors than any one else in the world.
*TURN OFF THAT LIGHT!!! Can't [[you]] see he's [[masturbating|fapping?!]]

==Memorable Quotes==
[[Image: 16_fanart_sonicgottagofast.gif|thumb|Robotnik's ultimate rival, [[Sonic]].]]
{{poopquote|Robotnik|SILENCE!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I hate that hedgehog!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|(While having an orgasm) OOOOH, THAT'S GOOOOD!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|YOU PISS BRAINS!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|MAKE ME HAPPY!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You miserable mess of microchips!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|NOTE}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This is like bending [[spaghetti]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'm engulfed in a... [[dust]] cloud!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|DOY...[[SHOU!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss??}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'll smack yer ma!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[NO]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|And I order you to tell me of any carrots, peppers, and bugs of security, the second Christmas comes up!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Snoo[[Pingas|ping as]] usual, I see?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My full name is SUPER Robotnik!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!}}
[[Image:DrRobotnikloses.png|thumb|300px|Dr. Robotnik enraged by the fact that [[you]] beat him in his own game (Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine).]]
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|What kind of nincompoops are you!?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|See you next faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|If you don't, I'll melt you down... ''MY'' way!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik| YOU NINCOMBOTS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik| YOU NIGGABOTS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Get out of life!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I thought I was rid of you,you fish-fondling fruitcake!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|NICE PEOPLE.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[Beans]]...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Nice [[toaster]]. I must remind my badniks to steal some [[Bowser's Sourpuss Bread|BREAD]] for it.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Tea? TEA?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[France|Surrender]] to [[me]].}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My...[[Ass|caboose]]...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|WHO CARES?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Body Parts!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|No one makes fun of me! No one!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|TOMORROW I'LL...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|PRRR! PRRR!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|TOUCH MY PINGAS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My Robo-Transmogrifier will take care of you prehistoric fuzzballs!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Who's Rich???}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I HATE [[Da Bears]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|YOU DOUBLE NIGGER!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Warpnik to the Warp of Confusion!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Steroids!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Friction!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Oxymoron!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|DAAh, [[Fuck|forg]]et it!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Gladiators!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Did he say what I thought he said? [[Link|I win]]!?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I order [[you]] to break my [[penis]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|With Sonic trapped in the force field, Mobius is mine! ''Mine!'' ...Did I say that already?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'm surrounded by [[dick|dicks!!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Smells like... [[Dr. Rockso|cocaine!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This time, there'll be [[no]] slip-ups!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|O.K., so [[I]] had a small erection.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I haven't SEEN such beans since I banned my crazy cousin [[Luigi]] to the Warp of Toast!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Aha! I have just come up with a magnnnnificent scheme! Now you may lick my pingas.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I captured my [[dick]] and became [[dick|dic]]tator!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Auuugh!! Who took a shit in my chair?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Tomorrow I'll [[fuck|mess]] with [[Scratch]] and [[Grounder]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|He wants me because I am magnanimous and imperative. That's two great things. Not one great thing and an okay thing or one good thing and a so-so thing; it's ''two'' great things!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|After I do some [[booze]], I'm certain I'll do some [[Magic drugs|acid]]! AHAHAHAHA!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My extra-large super nasty swinging metallic PINGAS will obliterate you!}}{{poopquote|Robotnik|You two will make NICE pets!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This isn't my sport! How about a nice game of tiddlywinks?}}

==The Greatest [[Evil]]...==
After the existence of [[Scrounder]] was confirmed, a theory has appeared that Robotnik himself could fuse with the aforementioned monstrosity to form Dr. Scroundbotnik. If this being were ever to be created, it would wield a power mighty enough to rival even Kimera Luigi. Let us hope this never comes to pass...
[[Image:Q3zscn.jpg|frame|left|Dr. Robotnik hates the company of the same name that makes computers in Canada.]]
[[Image:Site logo.gif|left]]
[[Category:Evil Characters]]
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]
[[Category:Fat Characters]]
[[Category:Athletes]]
[[Category:Olympiads]]
[[Category:Comic Book Characters]]
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]
[[Category:Internet Memes]]
[[Category:Characters - Geniuses]]
[[Category:Doctors|Robotnik, Dr.]]
[[Category:Dicks]]
[[Category:Elderly Characters]]

Mama Luigi

2010-03-26T21:36:44Z

Shanted: /* Skills */

{{CharBox
|name=Mama Luigi
|image=hqmama.png
|shows=Super Mario World
|sex=Female
|age=
|occupation=Full Time Mum
|cast=Tony Rosato
|nationality=American
}}{{Char}}

''"Mama Luigi is pure concentrated [[Anti-Uctions]]"'' [[Xuchilbara]]

''"That's Mama Pure Concentrated Anti-Uctions to you, Superbork!"'' Mama Luigi

According to the Society of Poop, likes baby shaking, screaming, and falling for hours. He is a split personality of Mario's brother, [[Luigi]]. He was born from pure hatred, brewn by [[Law for kids]] in an effort to stop people for standing in no-parking zones. (S)he also hates [[Sex]], so she's actually fairly tolerable most of the time.

==History==
One day, Mama Luigi had to babysit [[Oogtar|a spoiled brat]] together with Mario, the child escaped and got killed wen he fell into a lava river, the frustration caused Luigi to materialize his rage into the beast known as [[God Luigi]].

Mama Luigi has many minions at his disposal, examples being Ganon, [[Bill O'Reilly]], and the SilverFatMagician. Mama Luigi also implemented a stronghold on the internet, spawning abominations such as Yaoi, Sonic Fancharacters, Mudkipz, and Pop-up ads (Some refer to this as the "Internet Hate Machine"). The program seems to randomly choose the website it will rest in, although most of the time it resides in the #chan boards, Gaia Online, Runescape, Myspace and YouTube (Which explains the strange behavior of the people that reside in these areas.)

Some of the time, Luigi is able to subconsciously control Mama Luigi, and use this precious time to tell [[Yoshi]] a historically revised version of the time he first met him. He is able to do this by using his control of [[Anti-Uctions]], and copyright infringement. For more information regarding the creation of Mama Luigi, see [[Big Poop Theory]] (or check out the [[Enclosed Instruction Book|enclosed instruction book]]).
{{vid|gmaknzSZSCE}}

==Personality==
Although being a split personality of Luigi, Mama Luigi is Luigi's final form. He likes to tell people about his title, correcting them, mothering [[Yoshkins]], and saving [[the Princess]]. He seems to have an obsession with a strange [[Magic Balloon]] and [[bagel]]s. Mama Luigi also enjoys telling twisted lies and falling onto Skull Rafts, which to him are [[No|Good Medicine]]. He is also a pedophile and necrophile.

One time, after being bored of Mario's repeated asks of bring a secret weapon, he got pissed off and turned into [[Mama Frusciante]] and told Mario to "get out of my show, motherfucker. " He is also a renowned jumper, able to hit ceiling light switches with his pelvis. It is interesting to notice that Mama Luigi had a master who transformed her/him into Super Dimentio.

She is also the queen of all [[AIDS]], and has stolen and destroyed many cures by many people, and is hindering the work of the [[Medic]] to avoid another cure.

Sometimes Mama Luigi will lie to people and tell them he's going to wring out his cap, when really he strips naked and goes streaking. This can cause bystanders to have heart troubles or even [[Die|die]].

Also, Mama Luigi has been k[[no]]wn to make [[Yoshi]] [[masturbate]] at least once in his entire lifetime.

==Health Issues==
Mama Luigi has a rare lung disorder which causes him to [[Wheeze|wheeze]] when he says his name in a corrective fashion and occasionally when he talks about [[Brooklyn]]. However, this does not appear to dramatically affect his overall health, as he is somewhat amused by said fashion.

{{vid|ouBCFmLm8t0}}

Mama Luigi is a known recovering [[Magic Drugs|pebble pea]] addict. He also used to smoke [[Magic Drugs|killer weeds]].

Mama Luigi has some psychological issues, namely paranoia and a deadly fear of giant caterpillars. He will often scream "HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!" even when no caterpillars are around. To vent his anxiety, he painted a portrait called The Scream, which most people incorrectly think was painted by Edvard Munch. In fact, if you look closely at the background during a full moon on a Tuesday, you can see Yoshkins and some [[Caterpillars|Wigglers]].

==Celebrity Status and Turmoil==
It has been officiated that Mama Luigi was indeed a Spice Girl honing the name, Mama Luigi Spice. Due to turmoil within their old record label's marketing staff, Mama Luigi did not receive a Spice Girls Doll contract as did the other girls. Unfortunately, Mama Luigi has confirmed that she is not going to be touring with the Spice Girls when they go on the "back together" tour.

==Skills==
Aside from having the power to correct his victims, he has also proven to be a good swimmer (And can additionally summon [[dolphins]] on a whim.) and have memorized the mapping of the [[Mushroom Kingdom]]. He also will ear rape anyone if he gets pissed off way too much (which will kill anyone within 50 Kilometres in the vicinity).

She also has some skills with electronics, which she used to start a company in [[China]] to make [[Bagel]] [[Rock TV|Rings]]. This ultimately failed, since the bagel rings gave people cancer from [[Anti-Uctions]] radiation, and were recalled by Lotica Studios, the parent company of [[Rock TV]].

He is also organization XIII founder number zero

==The Birth Season==
Mama Luigi's eggs were recently fertilized by Gay Luigi, Mama Luigi is currently the carrier of 30 fetuses and 180 STDs. Big Boss's next big mission is to destroy Mama Luigi's womb before he gives birth. Since Mama Luigi is the Queen of [[AIDS]], this will be difficult.
[[Image:Yoshigunfire.png|thumb|right|Yoshi trying to destroy Mama Luigi before he destroys us.]]
[[Image:Mama.jpg|thumb|right|Mama Luigi has something to say to [[you]].]]
{{VidCaption|pB8Ph0hnRPY|The most popular Mama Luigi poop, made by WalrusGuy}}
== Quotes ==
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|Like they say in [[Brooklyn]], early to bed, early to catch [[Earthworm Jim|the worm]]. Or is it the [[bagel]]?}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|Well, it all started when [[Mario]], [[Princess Toadstool|the princess]] and I came to [[Dinosaur World]] for vacation.}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|[[Koopa Football Players]] grabbed [[Princess Toadstool|the Princess]].}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|[[Mario]] was attacked by a [[Koopa wizard]] and a Magnum Bill! And I found myself face-to-face with a [[Fire Sumo]]!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|I fell for HOURS!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|Nothing below but boiling lava! Good thing I found a [[Magic Balloon|magic balloon]]!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|These skulls were GOOD medicine for me.}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|Yeah well I didn't think it was so funny!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|YEOW!!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|Nothing to be scared of in the water. Gasp, except THAT!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|WOAH!! [[DOLPHINS]]!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|We've gotta find [[Mario]] and [[Princess Toadstool]]. Stay here while I wring out my cap.}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|[[Mario]], wherever you are, HEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}}
[[Image:400px-Mama_Luigis.jpg|thumb|400px|right|Mama Luigi's [[spaghetti]] box.]]
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|This kid makes [[Mario]] looks like he's on a diet!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|That'll teach ya to mess with my new lil' buddy [[Yoshi]]!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|YIKES! WHERES THE LIGHT-SWITCH!?}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|It's the liftoff that got me!}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|That's MAMA Luigi to you [[Mario]]! [[Wheeze|*Wheeze*]]}}
{{poopquote|Mama Luigi|Uh, good night [[Yoshi]]! Ahhbahhbabahbaba.}}

== Links ==
[http://www.mamaluigis.com/ Mama Luigi's Restaurant] - known for its [[Spaghetti]] and parodies of The Sopranos.

[http://jedi787plus.deviantart.com/art/Mama-Luigi-s-Spaghetti-118283000 Mama Luigi's Spaghetti] - Mama Luigi's response to Papa John's Pizza, founded after Mama Luigi's restaurant (above) didn't fare very well. Motto: Better 1-Ups, Better Spaghetti!
[[Category:Characters - Male]]
[[Category:Characters - Italian]]
[[Category:Luigi]]
[[Category:Pedophiles]]
[[Category:Internet Memes]]

M. Bison

2010-03-24T20:23:25Z

Shanted: /* Likes */

{{char}}
{{CharBox
|name=Master Bison
|image=Site1.jpg
|shows=Street Fighter
|sex=Male
|age=Somewhere between the ages of 30 & 50.
|occupation=Dictator, Street Fighter
|nationality=Canadian
|cast=[[Bear Hugger|Richard Newman]], [[Black Shadow|Norio Wakamoto]], [[Akuma|Tomomichi Nishimura]], Gerald C. Rivers, [[Grimlock|Tom Wyner]], [[Dead|Raul Julia]], Neal McDonough
}}
This article is about the evil [[dick|dictator]] from the [[Street Fighter]] series. If [[you]]'re looking for [[Vega|the assassin/bullfighter from said series]], then [[Vega|click here.]]

This article is about the evil [[dick|dictator]] who's named M. Bison everywhere that's [[no]]t [[Japan]]. If [[you]]'re looking for the person [[no|who he parodied his name from]], then [[Mike Tyson|click here.]] If [[you]]'re looking for the [[Punch-Out!!|boxer]] who works for him and has the same type of name as him (but only for [[Japan]]), then [[Balrog|click here.]]

M. Bison is known for eating handheld televisions and running down corridors over and over again. Ever in love with himself, he experiences an orgasm whenever a closeup of himself is shown followed by [[Scottish|bagpipe music]].

[[YES]]!

[[YES]]!!!

He also once claimed that he doesn't have a [[Ass|buttocks.]]

==Source==
*[[Street Fighter (game)|Street Fighter II: The World Warrior]]

[[Image:Deliciouscoke.JPG|thumb|right|250px|Bison and [[Balrog]], as seen in an advertisement for [[Coca-Cola]].]]

== Small Backstory ==
Little is known about Bison's youth and his early years, even as to when he was born (most game manuals list his birth year as unknown), but he appears to be in his late 30's to mid 40's, although he could be much older, or even younger. It is at least known that he created Shadaloo 20 years before the start of the series. His first appearance, chronologically speaking, was in Street Fighter Alpha, as the head of an elusive criminal and military organization known as [[Shadaloo]]. Along with his aspirations for world conquest, Bison had been working on perfecting a lethal and deadly energy that would exponentially increase his fighting ability, an inherently evil energy he refers to as "Psycho Power". During the events of Street Fighter Alpha, Shadaloo came to the attention of Interpol, which sent Chun-Li (an operative with a personal vendetta against the crime lord, who had killed her father) to thwart Bison's plans. [[Chun-Li]] and Bison eventually confronted each other and battled. Bison defeated Chun-Li and then escaped on his helicopter while mocking her and promising to kill her in the same manner he killed her father if she confronts him again. During the events of Alpha or Alpha 2, Bison also came into conflict with Rose, a mysterious woman who wielded Soul Power, the opposite of Bison's Psycho Power. This fact and the fact that her quest was to stop any and all of Bison's evil plans indicate the intricate connection between the two, and would later be revealed in Street Fighter Alpha 3.

[[Image:CreepyBison.gif‎|right|thumb|This is what M. Bison would look like [[no|if he was kidnapped and captured by]] [[SNK]].]]

Mmmhmm...

==Name Change==
When Street Fighter II was localized in America, Capcom was afraid of a lawsuit from Mike Tyson over a character with his likeness and a similar sounding name (Mike Bison). Additionally, when the designers presented the game to Capcom USA's marketing department, they believed that the name Vega was a weakling's name. They decided to rotate the names of three of the four boss characters ([[Sagat]] didn't get a name change because he was already in the first Street Fighter game.) in the following manner:

*The [[Africans|African]]-[[America]]n [[Punch-Out!!|boxer]] known as M. Bison in [[Japan]] was changed to Balrog elsewhere.

*The [[Spanish]] [[ass]]assin/[[Bald Bull|bull]]fighter known as [[Balrog]] in Japan was changed to Vega elsewhere.

*The evil [[dick|dictator]] and head of Shadaloo known as [[Vega]] in Japan was changed to M. Bison elsewhere.

THAT MEANS VEGA (IN JAPAN) IS [[delicious|DELICIOUS!!!]] :O (OH SHI-)
[[Image:Teethofdoom.PNG|thumb|left|Bison's super teeth of death.]]

==Bison's [[Ass|Arse]]==
[[Image:Bison's_Ass_015_0001.jpg‎ |thumb|right|The only existing photo of Bison's Arse]]
Back in the day, whenever Bison felt a bit malicious, he'd invoke a dreaded and forbidden power known only as "Bison's Arse". This led to the emergence of [[Captain Guile]], who, being a very brave man, proclaimed, "Bison's Ass is mine!" and launched a never-ending campaign against the posterior of pain, eventually ending when Guile rammed a Sonic Boom up Bison's Arse, ending the terror forever... or so it seemed.
[[Image:Bison_HUH!.jpg|thumb|Bison at the time of Bison's Arse's resurgence.]]

[[Image:FALCON.jpg|thumb|[[Captain Falcon]]'s impersonation of Bison's arse.]]

In June 2007, Bison's Arse resurfaced, this time as a completely seperate entity. His first heinous act being killing Hinata Hyuga with [[Orochi AIDS]], ending Guile's latest mission in failure. It is unknown what Bison's Arse may be planning next.
Bison`s Arse is currently living in the labyrinth dungeon of [[Hollow Bastion]]

M.Bison had this to say about Bison's Arse.

"I'm afraid I don't have one!"

[[Image:Bison's_grin.GIF|thumb|left|"He's afraid he doesn't have one!" A common artist's impression of the dreaded Bison's Arse.]]

[[Image:Demo.PNG|thumb|right|[[Demoman]] suffering a fate worse than death - being forced to stare into Bison's Arse for 12 millenia.]]

== Likes ==
*<s>Saying</s> Screaming [[Yes|Yes!]]
*Saying that some random things are delicious.
*[[Lesbians]]
*[[Gay]] [[sex|sex tapes.]]
*[[Pokemon]] [[Hentai|Pr0n]] ([[NO|Especially if it contains]] [[Mudkip]]s.)
*The House of The [[Die|Dead]]: Overkill
*[[Rape|Raping]] [[Birdo]]
*Everyone that's in Shadowloo. (At least, when they do stuff right.)
*Having foes worthy of his challenge.
*[[Ear Rape|Ear Raping]]
*[[Whinefeld]]
*[[Super Macho Man]]
*[[Magneto]]
*[[Geese Howard]]
*[[Sega]]
*Winning
*[[Captain Falcon]]
*[[Nostalgia Critic|The Nostalgia Critic]]
*Seeing [[Ken Masters|Ken]] [[rape]] [[Ryu]] for some strange reason.
*[[Coca-Cola]]
*[[Balrog]]
*[[Vega]] (Even though he ordered his [[ass]][[ass]]ination.)
*Seeing [[Bear Hugger]] get k[[no]]cked-out by [[Little Mac]] (Do [[I]] really have to explain it to [[you]]?).
*[[Shaq]] back when he was with the L.A. Lakers (He thought he was the reason why they got three straight championships in a row.).
**[[Shaq]] passing [[Jesus Christ|Moses]] Malone as the 4th best scorer of all-time.
*University of Illinois
*Punching people because they don't agree with him that there's [[no]] greater power than evil.
*Having evil powers.
[[Image:99771973et3.png|right|thumb|[[Fat Mario]], after being posessed by Bison.]]
*Terrible bag pipe music listen to it while he says yes or yesh

== Dislikes ==
*Saying [[No|No!]]
*Having his plans fail.
*Seeing Shadowloo be[[cum|come]] incompetent [[retard|idiots.]]
*Traitors
*[[Pickle Surprise]]
*[[No]]t bringing about a new world order.
*[[Dr. Robotnik]] and [[Fat Mario]] (For siding against him in the "YES! NO!" argument).
*Speaking at a normal volume.
*[[Guile]]
*[[Akuma]]
*Rugal Bernstein
*Gill
*His absence in ''Marvel Vs. [[Capcom]]: Clash of Super Heroes'' and ''Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom'', even though he's not a hero. (Then again, they had Venom in the former game, so [[Yes|yeah]].)
**His absence in ''Street Fighter III'', even though he should be dead by then.
*Those who work as [[Street Fighter (game)|Street Fighters.]]
*[[Disney]]
*Seeing [[Chris-Chan]]'s [[sex|sex tapes.]]
*[[Lucky Star]]
*[[Mike Tyson]] (Thinks [[Balrog]]'s much better at boxing than him.)

[[Image:Epic.png|Epic.png|thumb|Even the [[Nostalgia Critic]] has suc[[cum]]mbed to the power of Bison's Arse.]]
[[Image:Streetfighter_bison_illust.png|thumb|M. Bison in real life.]]

== Trivia ==
*[[Dan Hibiki|Dan]] is superior.
*[[Dan Hibiki|Dan]] is [[delicious]].
*He's friends with G-Man.
*Has a scary grin (in which most people hate).
*Spins cardboard boxes in his hands.
*He likes to watch wrestling matches on his odd-looking iPod. (Though I think it's supposed to be a video radio, I'm honestly not too sure.)
*He dethroned [[Link]] as the Best [[Wii]] Player of [[Koridai]].
*He wants Balrog (who's Mike Bison for those of you Japanese purists) to not be hasty about getting rid of those special videos that he has, which are rumoured to contain [[gay]] porn.
*He really wants [[Ash|Ash Ketchup]] [[Die|to be pummeled to dust]] (even though he did die once).
*He once had an apple that was named after him. The apple was called the M. Bison Apple. It looked like M. Bison whenever he orgasmed and it had quotes all over it.
*Takes steroids in between appearances. Notice how he's anorexic in all versions of the Street Fighter II games, the [[Capcom]] Vs. [[SNK]] series (Not the SNK Vs. Capcom games though), and in those piece of [[shit]] Street Fighter movies, yet he's super muscular everywhere else.
*Without his hat, he looks suspiciously like [[Dan Hibiki]] and [[Buzz Lightyear]].
*He once had the argument of the century with [[Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]]. Later on in that argument, [[Captain Falcon]] and [[Fat Mario]] would join their respective sides in this argument.
*Loves Balrog's special skills at Photoshop while using his [[fuck]]ing gloves to do his shit.
*He once was interviewed by [[Bill O'Reilly]]. He referenced himself as a DELICIOUS thing and he answered almost every question by saying [[yes|YES]] twice.
*He has the power of YES, which is the opposite of Fat Mario's NO power. No matter how hard you try to decline a statement made by M. Bison, he WILL have things his way. YES!!!
*He hates the fact that the new Street Fighter movie made him look like a piece of [[shit]] stereotypical rich guy villian.
*Was not only in the Street Fighter video games, but was also in the X-Men/Marvel Vs. Street Fighter/Capcom games, SNK Vs. Capcom games, and Namco X Capcom.
*Rivals with [[Geese Howard]] according to SNK vs. Capcom. Coincidentally, they sometimes have [[Gay Luigi|gay sex]] with each other whenever the oppurtunity arrives.
*Geese also stood in for him in ''Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li''.
*Loves going sledding when he gets a chance. (Pocket Fighter)
*According to ''some'' people, he wears himself a [[communists|communist]] type of outfit.
*Got majorly pissed off when he found out that he wasn't going to be in Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: Cross Generation of Heroes, even though the fact was that the Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom fighter said it was the cross generation of ''Heroes'', which he isn't one of. To make him happy, though, he somehow got the power to make Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: Cross Generation of Heroes stay in Japan only, despite the fact that it would've not made [[Wii|Nintendo Wii]] owners very happy and made them even when the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 owners got Street Fighter IV, but it also would've made the possibility of Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 become a reality. What a bastard. Unfortunetly, his plan failed when he found out that a newer and better version of the game was announced for North America and Europe called Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: Ultimate All Stars, and it's still missing him. Boo.
*In the game X-Men Vs. Street Fighter, [[Magneto]] and [[M. Bison]] would team up, but were intending on betraying each other at a later time. In Magneto's ending, he eventually manages to get the upper hand and kill him. M. Bison's Shadaloo henchmen ([[Balrog]], [[Vega]], & [[Sagat]]) would join him afterwards, for they are fearful of Magneto's power. The opposite happens in M. Bison's ending, though he doesn't get any of Magneto's henchmen in return.
*In ''Street Fighter: The Later Years'', he's just an old man in a wheelchair, and Vega and Sagat have betrayed him. Also, [[Chun-Li]] strangled him with her own bra. What a lucky bastard.
*In the [[Nostalgia Critic]]'s review of [[Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog]], he crushed him by dropping from nowhere and yelling, '''"OF COURSE!!!"''' However, that was due to him admitting that he was sick of the M. Bison '''"OF COURSE!!!"''' joke and said that [[The Electric Cheese|he'd never use him ever again.]] He shall pay for that [[retard]]s foolishness!
*Once told [[the King]] that dust was for [[dinner]] and he even said that dust was delicious! However, the King didn't want any of that crap, so M. Bison tried to kill the King, but he used the Triforce of Courage at the last minute to protect himself and kill him.
*Might have porno inside his special VHS tape (the one Balrog tried to destroy).
*Eventually, Balrog gave M. Bison his tape, saying that it was "time for the tape."
*Loved the fact that Marvel Vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes would return on the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 because he never did unfortunently own a copy of that game.
*Does wish that he was in the Street Fighter III games, especially Street Fighter III: The 3rd Strike. (Too bad he was dead at the time.)
*Hates Santa Claus because he ate all of his milk and drank all of his cookies. (How he even did that or why it was only him who became a victim is still a mystery.)
*Isn't it kind of creepy that everybody who works for him (save Balrog, Vega, Birdie and Sagat) is a 15-year-old girl wearing a tight outfit?
*According to ''Street Fighter Alpha 2'', the guy has a pretty decent sense of humour.
*Used to work as a Mountie, which explains the red uniform.
*M. Bison's voice actor in the cartoons was Richard Newman, who also voiced Ginyu in ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'', Rhinox in ''[[Beast Wars]]'' and Vector Prime in ''[[Transformers]]: Cybertron'', and [[Bear Hugger]] in ''[[Punch Out!!]]'' for the [[Nintendo]] [[Wii]] (TIMBER!!!). And that's not going near the sheer amount of roles [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norio_Wakamoto Norio Wakamoto's] had...
*Speaking of [[Bear Hugger]], he wanted [[Little Mac]] to kill that son of a bitch for him for the reason that he stole and modified his voice.
*M. Bison also once had plastic surgery. However, after a few days with his new face, he decided not to have it anymore. (A rare picture of M. Bison with his face from his time with the plastic surgery is shown at the bottom of this article.)
*His ''"This Is Delicious!"'' and ''"Yes! YES!!!"'' are both so powerful that it can even survive the most loudest noise removaler ever made!!!!!! (Coincidentally, you can find this video right here.)
*He loves ''The House of The Dead: Overkill'' so much that he said that it was [[fuck]]ing delicious.
*He also sang for a song in that said game, in which people said that it was fucking insane genious.
{{vid|a93DECb9NHI}}
*It is rumoured that a record was found at the University of [[Rod Blagojevich|Illinois]] archives of a student named "Mike Bison", who played on their [[American Football]] team. When questioned of this, M. Bison answered "[[Yes]]! [[Yes]]!", but he was assumed to be [[Magic Drugs|high]] at the time of questioning.
*His first actor in a Street Fighter movie (Raul Julia) [[die]]d right after it was released. However, while it was his last movie role he would do, it wasn't the last role he ever did (He was also an actor on a TV show after his role of being M. Bison.).
*He likes [[Scottish|bagpipe music]], not unlike the [[Demoman]].
*[[Mike Tyson]] wants to have revenge on him for stealing his name in a clever way.
*He might have been a former leader of [[Team Rocket]] before [[Giovanni]] claimed his place.
*'''''SPOILER WARNING!!!!!''''' According to the ''Street Fighter Alpha'' series, [[Cammy]] was made from his DNA. So every time you [[masturbate]] to [[Cammy]]'s [[ass]], you're masturbating to Bison's Arse... oh [[God]], what have we done!?!?!?!
*M. Bison's orgasm close-up power is genetic, so Cammy inherited it, though she doesn't know how to use it. Rose has it as well.

===See Also===
*[[Balrog]]
*[[Mike Tyson]]
{{vid|nSz49ZOi0dM}}

==Quotes==
*THIS IS DELICIOUS!
*DON'T BE HASTY.
*[[Delicious|DELICIOUS]]!!!
*Yes!
*YES!!
*NO!
*NO!!
*OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*(donk) Yes?!
*Which should be any moment now!
*How nice. He did the work for us.
[[Image:MorriganBison.PNG|thumb|M. Bison has a sister. Who would have guessed?]]
*Heh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh.
*Heh-eh-eh-eh.
*Welcome my trio of terror.
*You worthless pile of excrement!
*YOU'RE MINE!
*YOUR ASS IS MINE!
*I don't give a shit.
*Uhuhuhu...afraid I don't have one.
*ENERGY BURST!!
*For I beheld Satan as he fell from heaven!...LIKE LIGHTNING!!!!
[[Image:Tn335 499c5ff571431.jpg|thumb|right|M. Bison being parodied.]]
*What's wrong, Guile? Still thinking about your friend I killed? Try harder!
*Well now, it would appear I've touched a sensitive spot!
*Yes, yes, I killed MY father too, and you don't hear ME whining about it!
*What is it with you women anyway?
*Well, yes.
*THIS IS LISCIOUS!
*LISCIOUS!!!
*BAAALROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Patience, patience my pets. You're time is [[cum|coming]].
*What have they done to my creations?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
*Time for the tape.
*I'm sorry... I don't remember any of it.
*For you, the day Bison graced your village.. was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
*On the contrary, I mourn.
*I was hoping to face [[Captain Guile|Guile]] personally on the battlefield. One gentleman warrior to another... in respectful combat. Then I would snap his spine.
*AH, {Sigh} The road not taken.
*Why? Why do they still call me a warlord? And mad?!
*All I want to do, is to create the perfect genetic soldier. Not for power, not for evil, but for [[Mario|good]].
*[[Blanka|Carlos Blanka]] will be the first of many that shall march out of my [[Dexter's Laboratory|laboratory]] and sweep away every adversary, Every Creed, EVERY NATION... until the very planet is in the loving grip of the packs of Bi[[Sonic the Hedgehog|sonic]]a.
*And then [[The King|peace]] will reign, and the world... and all humanity, shall bow to me... in humble gratitude.
*Scream in pain! NIGHTMARE BOOSTER!!
*This place shall become your grave!
[[Image:Yyyyyyes.gif|thumb|right|Behold M. Bison and his [[Yes|powerful]] [[maturbation|orgasms.]]]]
*Dust Is Delicious!!!
*[[You]] talk too much!
*PSYCHO CRUSHA!!
*PSYCHO CRUSHER!!
*1... 2... 2/1... 2 3/4...
*Find me [[Guile|his]] [[ass]], so we can ''[[rape]] him!!''
*Now, face the Mighty Bison (Flashes his teeth at [[you]].).
*Ha! You suck!
*Pointless!
*Get lost! You can't compare with my powers!
[[Image:Redraw SFIV M. Bison.JPG|thumb|right|This is what M. Bison will be like in the next Scribblenauts game.]]
*THERE IS NO POWER LIKE EVIL!
*NANDA TAAAAAA!!!!
*House of the Dead: Overkill: It's not just [[good]], it's fucking [[delicious]]!
*Critics said ''it's fucking [[good]]''.
*Other critics said ''it's'' '''motherfucking''' ''[[good]]''.
*A [[Chun-Li|street corner prostitute]] said ''I would suck that guy's [[penis|dick]]''.
*A toothless [[Whore Yoshi|crack whore]] said ''give me a [[KFC|chicken]] [[dinner]]''.
*House of the Dead: Overkill: [[Fuck]]ed up genius.
*[[Sex|OHHHHH! House of the Dead!]]
*This is fucking delicious!!!
*Don't be fucking hasty!
*Not until [[I]] see those fucking [[Street Fighter|Street Fighters]] fucking pummeled to fucking dust, which should be any fucking moment now!
*Fucking [[Yes]]!
*Fucking YES!!!
*[[Captain Falcon|Show Me Your Boobs!]]
*[[Yes|Salutations! Oh, praise the Heavens!!]]
[[Image:HOOOSER.png|frame|left|M. Bison after his plastic surgery.]]
{{video|YRw8Ma8sgSw}}
[[image:WAITWHAT.JPG|thumb|M. Bison after finding out that the link doesn't work.]]
[[image:WAITWHAT.JPG|thumb|Also him after seeing Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Chris-Chan's Sex Tape, and that he's not in Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom.]]
[[Category:Internet Memes]]
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]
[[Category:Anime Characters]]
[[Category:Nostalgia Critic]]
[[Category:Evil Characters]]
[[Category:Loud Characters]]
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]
[[Category:Militaristic People]]
[[Category:Powerful Characters]]
[[Category:Dicks]]

Dr. Robotnik

2010-03-24T20:20:42Z

Shanted: /* Likes */

{{CharBox
|name=Dr. Ivo Robotnik
|image=Eeeeeevil.jpg
|shows=Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
|sex=Male
|age=42
|occupation=Evil scientist
|cast=[[Long John Baldry]], Gary Chalk, Jim Cummings, Mike Pollock.
}}{{Char}}

[[Image:Picture 1.png|thumb|Robotnik after having one too many chocolate brains.]]
[[Image:SatAMrobotnik.jpg|thumb|Not Robotnik.]]
'''Dr. Ivo Julian Robotnik''' is a highly popular [[Youtube Poop]] character.

He is not to be confused with [[Dr. Eggman]], his evil twin brother from the new-gen [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.

==Career==

Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became [[Super Robotnik]], openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands (with a little help from [[Freakazoid (character)|Freakazoid]]), became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married [[Bill O'Reilly]], possessed [[King Harkinian]]'s body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful [[Chaos Emeralds]], got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of [[Wario]]Ware Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over [[Toon Disney]], and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of Robotnik's emporium. But noone cared so they separated. Sometimes, he makes a living by selling lemonade... ''poisoned'', of course. He once starred in a TV show with Terry Hargon, in which they argued over a letter from Throbbin Screetch. He is also currently the world champion of [[Tekken]] 15: Dark Blood Revenge.

Despite the fact that his parents said that he wouldn't amount to anything, Robotnik has had a very successful career, as you can see.

[[Image:Robotnik30.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik with his giant hand picking up a giant phone.]]

==Presidential Run==

It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an [[Vorhias|elaborately designed]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPfniwoQ_rk campaign video]. No other characters have announced their intentions to run probably except Rudy Larriva, but many are expected to follow suit.

Robotnik won the presidential election by a wide margin in 2008. He plans to run again for the 2010 presidency, and so far it is rumored that [[Lex Luthor]], his long-term rival, will also run against him.

==Likes==
*Himself
*A bucket of chicken [[balls]].
*His [[Robotnik and his Gameboy|Game Boy]]
*[[Travis Touchdown]]'s Beam Katanas
*[[Sex|Fucking With]] [[Scratch]]. (Whether Scratch sucks him orally or Dr. Robotnik does him anally or something similar like that is something that they both don't really matter on.)
[[Image:Image4.jpg|thumb|[[Scratch]]: [[Yes|Dr. Robotnik's current love.]]]]
*The [[Muppet Babies]]
*Eating a wagon wheel
*Going out, out, out the door
*Strawberry Shortcuts
*[[You]]
*[[Porn]]
*The [[KKK]]
*Sprite
*His special [[Super Robotnik]] [[form]].
*Putting out the Bushroot.
*His [[Pingas]]
*[[Soda Popinski|Soda Popinski/Vodka Drunkenski]]
*[[Sex|Sodomy]]
[[Image:Gdfg.png|thumb|right|Him telling [[Scratch|his]] [[Grounder|cro]][[Coconuts|nies]] what he currently has.]]
*[[Morshu|Getting Richer]]
*Being a super genius.
*Having inventions that actually work.
*Blood
*[[Me]] (Especially if the "me" voted for him.)]
*[[Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery|Fat Bastard]], his best friend.
*[[Racism]]
*[[Eggs]]
*Tacos
*[[Lucinda]]
*[[Darkwing Yak]]
*[[Rock TV]]
*Channel DDD
*His bones
*Gunpei Yokoi for inventing the Game Boy WHICH HE PLAYS ALOT
*heavy metal and hard rock which would explain his tantrums

==Dislikes==
{{vid|K1yneJSJx3E}}
[[Image:RobotnikNo.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik answering [[Scratch]] and [[Grounder]]'s question about them having [[gay]] [[sex]] together.]]
*[[Sonic|THAT HEDGEHOG]]
*[[Mama Luigi]]
*[[Mario]]
*When he loses to [[Froggo]] over a bucket of KFC.
*"That Chimpanzee"
*Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in [[Super Smash Bros. Brawl]].)
*[[Da Bears]]
*[[Insane Clown Posse|Clowns]]
*Snakes
*An alligator who chased him once.
*Spot The Chicken
*Dipstick
*71519
*[[Face]]
*Not being able to say the N-word.
*Action 52 & The Cheetahmen (But who doesn't?)
*[[Animal Soccer World]] & everything Phoenix Games has ever touched.
*[[Pickle Surprise]]
*Every single rebel on Mobius. He wants them all blasted out of existence.
*[[King Harkinian]]
*Some [[Cornflakes]]
[[Image:Icon robokx2.gif|thumb|right|[[PINGAS]]!!!]]
*The House of The Dead: Overkill
*His evil twin [[Dr. Eggman]].
*[[Jesus Christ]]
*[[Smirking Bitch]]
*[[The Jonas Brothers|Those queermos on the Disney Channel.]]
*[[4Kids]]
*Trixie Tang
*The Children's Television Workshop
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[High Voltage]] Software (They're ruining his plan to make the [[Wii|Nintendo Wii]] look like a piece of [[shit]] by making shovelware type of games. To think that this is all because Masahiro Sakurai didn't put him in [[Super Smash Bros. Brawl]]. Now that's sad don't you think?)
*[[Robotnikclaus]], his archrival.
*Shigeru Miyamoto

==Skills==
[[Image:Ghfdgh.png|thumb|right|The infamous picture used for the [[Youtube Poop]] meme called '''"This Video Contains Win!!!"''']]
Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's [[KFC]] nearby.

Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. This was caused after he accepted a part of the Gum-Gum Fruit, offered by [[Luffy]]. He has been known to have [[Laughing Panther|uncontrollable fits of laughter.]]

In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.

He also has the power to give [[promotion]]s. So far, very few have been able to get promotions from him.

Apparently he can blink but it's hard to notice.

His giant ass is so huge that he has to buy custom-built chairs and toilets. His dumps are so enormous that his plumbing pipes must be at least 12 feet wide to avoid clogs.

He can eat and carry 300 pounds of ham.

==Gossip==
[[Image:robotikniks.jpg|thumb|Robotnik while watching gay porn.]]
*It is rumored that [[Scratch]] has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. ''(See: [[ScraBotnik]])''
*Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
*It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with [[Zelda]], himself, and [[Ms. Filkins]] resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
*There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus, but this was disproved when Robotnikclaus revealed himself.
*It's rumored that Sarah is his daughter.
*Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date [[Makoto Kino]], however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
*It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
*In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrounder" and "Groutch". Alas, [[Scrounder]] has been confirmed to really exist recently.
*Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
*When [[Rudy Larriva]] and [[Mama Luigi]] announced [[Hunter Harrison]]'s candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul [[Robotnik Express]] for him.
[[Image:STHCS1.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik's call has just been disconnected... again!]]
*[[Bugs Bunny]] believes Robotnik is Polish.
*Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a [[SatAM|Saturday Morning]] until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
*Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa [[spaghetti]].
*It is rumored that Chowder is his son.
*Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny Asian yellow ranger.
*He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with [[Tails|Sonic's two-tailed little friend]], who he affectionately refers to as MILES.
*Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant.
*Robotnik wants you to touch his [[PENIS|PINGAS]].
*He once had the argument of the century with [[M. Bison]]. Later on in that argument, [[Fat Mario]] and [[Captain Falcon]] would join their respective sides in this argument.
*He's the one who built [[Glados]].
*Dr. Robotnik was considered to be the #7 douchebag of [[Angry Nintendo Nerd|Screwattack's]] Top Ten List of Douchebags. He was ahead of [[Wario]], [[Superman]] (lol, wut?!), and [[Michael Jackson]] (R.I.P. ;_;), yet he failed to defeat the [[Russians|Ruffians from the Viva Pinata series]], [[Burger King|the Burger King himself]], [[Bowser]], [[Metal Gear Solid|Psycho Mantis]], [[Gay Luigi|Jack Thompson]], and the Duck Hunt Dog itself.
*He drove that hedgehog to the fucking moon once.
*He also once had a crazy cousin named Warpnik. Unfortunetly, he's banished into the Warp of Penis so he isn't with us anymore.
*It was confirmed that Dr. Robotnik was a [[Nazi]]/Neo-Nazi, or at least a temporary one.
*It is rumored that before he goes to bed at night he wraps his [[penis|PINGAS]] in strips of bacon. That could also explain why his PINGAS makes other penises be ashamed of themselves.
*Oddly enough, he, along with [[Bowser]] and [[Ganon]], refused to help [[King K. Rool]] seize YouTube Poop in the name of the [[Angry German Kid]].
*He recently tricked the Mario Bros. into killing Sonic for him by planting a forged note from the hedgehog for them to find.
*He once suffered a form of tourette syndrome where Hugh Tasmanian Devil-style rambling and "Peanuts" adult speech got injected in his dialogue.
*Also once made a Strawberry Shortcut and tried to do the [[Pickle Surprise]] once.
*Is rumored to [[Masturbation|masturbate]] the very instant he sees the "DO NOT [[Masturbation|MASTURBATE]]" video. (Subsequentialy, you can see the video on the bottom right here.)
{{vid|QGaNvWI9ZfU}}
*His nose is actually a second [[PENIS]].
*With the help of [[Dracula]], he conquered New Jersey; beating [[Will Smith]] to the punch.
*He and Robotnikclaus recorded a hit single together titled "Piness Piness Pingas Pingas", which Stimpy J. Cat likes to play constantly much to Ren Hoek's displeasure.
*He has been found to have been sexually assulted again, this time by [[Big Cheese]] in 1989, leading to [[Big Cheese]]'s impeachment.
*The [[Nostalgia Critic]] actually once shot his own [[fuck]]ing head off. After he [[die]]d, all of Mobius exploded into a million pieces.
*Enjoys shoving bricks into his eye and eating wrenches.
*He has a small [[PENIS|erection]] when he sees [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic The Hedgehog]] and [[Tails]] [[kiss]] and/or have [[sex]] [[yes|with each other.]]
*He has a part-time job as a kindergarten teacher; however, he frequently gets caught in traffic on his way there.
*Rumored to have a crush on Danny Elfman.
*Rumored to have the most rumors than any one else in the world.
*TURN OFF THAT LIGHT!!! Can't [[you]] see he's [[masturbating|fapping?!]]

==Memorable Quotes==
[[Image: 16_fanart_sonicgottagofast.gif|thumb|Robotnik's ultimate rival, [[Sonic]].]]
{{poopquote|Robotnik|SILENCE!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I hate that hedgehog!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|(While having an orgasm) OOOOH, THAT'S GOOOOD!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|YOU PISS BRAINS!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|MAKE ME HAPPY!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You miserable mess of microchips!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|NOTE}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This is like bending [[spaghetti]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'm engulfed in a... [[dust]] cloud!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|DOY...[[SHOU!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss??}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'll smack yer ma!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[NO]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|And I order you to tell me of any carrots, peppers, and bugs of security, the second Christmas comes up!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Snoo[[Pingas|ping as]] usual, I see?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My full name is SUPER Robotnik!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!}}
[[Image:DrRobotnikloses.png|thumb|300px|Dr. Robotnik enraged by the fact that [[you]] beat him in his own game (Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine).]]
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|What kind of nincompoops are you!?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|See you next faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|If you don't, I'll melt you down... ''MY'' way!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik| YOU NINCOMBOTS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik| YOU NIGGABOTS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Get out of life!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I thought I was rid of you,you fish-fondling fruitcake!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|NICE PEOPLE.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[Beans]]...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Nice [[toaster]]. I must remind my badniks to steal some [[Bowser's Sourpuss Bread|BREAD]] for it.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Tea? TEA?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[France|Surrender]] to [[me]].}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My...[[Ass|caboose]]...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|WHO CARES?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Body Parts!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|No one makes fun of me! No one!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|TOMORROW I'LL...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|PRRR! PRRR!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|TOUCH MY PINGAS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My Robo-Transmogrifier will take care of you prehistoric fuzzballs!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Who's Rich???}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I HATE [[Da Bears]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|YOU DOUBLE NIGGER!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Warpnik to the Warp of Confusion!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Steroids!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Friction!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Oxymoron!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|DAAh, [[Fuck|forg]]et it!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Gladiators!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Did he say what I thought he said? [[Link|I win]]!?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I order [[you]] to break my [[penis]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|With Sonic trapped in the force field, Mobius is mine! ''Mine!'' ...Did I say that already?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'm surrounded by [[dick|dicks!!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Smells like... [[Dr. Rockso|cocaine!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This time, there'll be [[no]] slip-ups!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|O.K., so [[I]] had a small erection.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I haven't SEEN such beans since I banned my crazy cousin [[Luigi]] to the Warp of Toast!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Aha! I have just come up with a magnnnnificent scheme! Now you may lick my pingas.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I captured my [[dick]] and became [[dick|dic]]tator!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Auuugh!! Who took a shit in my chair?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Tomorrow I'll [[fuck|mess]] with [[Scratch]] and [[Grounder]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|He wants me because I am magnanimous and imperative. That's two great things. Not one great thing and an okay thing or one good thing and a so-so thing; it's ''two'' great things!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|After I do some [[booze]], I'm certain I'll do some [[Magic drugs|acid]]! AHAHAHAHA!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My extra-large super nasty swinging metallic PINGAS will obliterate you!}}{{poopquote|Robotnik|You two will make NICE pets!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This isn't my sport! How about a nice game of tiddlywinks?}}

==The Greatest [[Evil]]...==
After the existence of [[Scrounder]] was confirmed, a theory has appeared that Robotnik himself could fuse with the aforementioned monstrosity to form Dr. Scroundbotnik. If this being were ever to be created, it would wield a power mighty enough to rival even Kimera Luigi. Let us hope this never comes to pass...
[[Image:Q3zscn.jpg|frame|left|Dr. Robotnik hates the company of the same name that makes computers in Canada.]]
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[[Category:Evil Characters]]
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Gwonam

2010-02-18T23:12:34Z

Shanted: /* Trivia */

{{CharBox
|name=Gwonam Al-Saraha Murbad
|image=Firestone lake9.jpg
|shows=Link: The Faces of Evil
|noaddshows=yes
|sex=Male
|age=87
|occupation=Radical Muslim Cleric, Businessman
|cast=
|nationality=Saudi Arabian
|noaddnationality=yes
}}{{char}}
[[Image:Animation_fin8.jpg|thumb|Well done, Link!]]
Gwonam is a character commonly used in Youtube Poop, generally referred to as the "Freaky Carpet Guy", or "Squadala Guy", simply "Squadala", or "[[Pimpsahoy]]".

His real name is "Gwonam Al-Saraha Murbad" or "Rajinder".

==General Information==

===Early Life===
[[Image:Gwonam's-Pizzeria.jpg|frame|right|Gwonam showing his Pizzeria, which was made out of legos behind King Harkinian's '41 Plymouth.]]
Gwonam was born in 1923 in Saudi Arabia. He had three brothers, [[Jafar]], Goshaman, and Gotseman. His parents were actually from India. Often, the air was polluted by the many oil rigs. At age 22, Gwonam left the country to get away from the noxious gases. First, he moved to London. [[4]] years later, Gwonam left England, and moved to [[Sparta]]. He was still not happy. 3 years after moving to Sparta, Gwonam moved into China, this time he felt happy. He lived in China for 27 years. But then, the Communist government of China decided to fire Gwonam from his prophet job. Gwonam was depressed and didn't know what to do. He took a trip to the U.S. in 1969 to attend Woodstock. He stopped off to eat at [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]] and became instant friends with Morshu after putting his mastery of maps to use and explained that Woodstock would not be held on Morshu's restaurant. Gwonam was given a coupon for free carpet flying lessons as a reward. Gaining interest in magic, he decided to drop his hippie lifestyle and become a genie/wizard. He attended the University of Squadallah from 1970-1974, which is where the famous line "Squadallah, we're off!" comes frome, being the University's chant. Then, he met [[King Harkinian]] , the king of the land of [[Hyrule]]. The king took Gwonam to Hyrule and asked him to be his royal Genie Prophet Guy. Gwonam accepted, and became happy once again. He has been living in Hyrule ever since.

[[Image:Gwonam-1969.jpg|frame|right|Gwonam when he was a hippy.]]

It is not confirmed on how he became homo[[sex]]ual, but it is speculated that these traits began in his teenage years. Scarce records show that he snuck kisses with other teenage boys in the neighborhood. He would even kiss his own brothers. This means that these boys were [[Gay Luigi|gay]] long before gay was well-known.

===Modern Life===
Gwonam is an old guy on a magic carpet that brings about a sacred prophecy. Gwonam claims that the prophecy states, "Only [[Link]] can defeat [[Ganon]]", but the prophecy clearly says, "Squiggle squiggle squiggle fish squiggle squiggle". His catch phrase is the famed, "[[Squadala]]!" which he says every time he sets off on flight or when he gets an erection. It has been rumored that Gwonam has a deep obsession with taking Link and [[Zelda]] to iHOP. He also seem to like to stand in a same posings and movements when Link meets him in his magic carpet while he (Gwonam) tells Link about Ganon's minions. he also likes to tell Link to "look" or "see" Something..

Cultural Heritage: Saudi Arabia/India

==Controversy==
Gwonam appears to have an obsession with [[cum]], and seems to enjoy Link's company. It has been rumored that Gwonam is a pedophilic homosexual due to his particular liking towards Link.

==Possessions==
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|Gwonam, [[Link]], [[King Harkinian]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]

Gwonam seems to be quite the item master and is a large help when it comes to aiding Link on his quests.
*[[The Map]]
*A Magic Carpet
*A strange <strike>turban type hat</strike> shower cap.
*Weird facial hair
*A strange ability to see into the future to find out what Ganon's minions are doing
*A lamp which allows him to "see the Sand Crumies"
*[[Cum]]
*Possibly some [[birds]].
*Evil birds!
*[[YouTube]]
*Lots of random CDs, especially from his favorite band, "[[Birds|The Byrds]]".

==Quotes==
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Your Majesty, Ganon and his minions as seen in the Island of [[Koridai]].}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|It is written, only Link can defeat Ganon.}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|There is no time. Your sword is enough}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|SAQUALLADAH!! We're off!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|These are the faces of evil. You must conquer each.}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Here is The Map! Where do you wish to go?}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|LOOK AND SEE, [[GORONU]]...}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|AT LAST, you have the vision to find my house! Now, go with many blessings!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Go with many Zelbinems!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Well done, Link! Ganon is now imprisoned. CUM!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Look, already Koridai is returning to peace and harmony. The Birds are singing. Isn't it beautiful?}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|YOU, LINK, ARE THE HERO OF KORIDAI!!!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[You]] must die.}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[cum|CUM!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Here [[I]] [[Cum|CUM!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Your Majesty, [[Duke Onkled]] is under attack by the [[evil]] forces of [[Ganon]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Your Majesty, [[you]] must [[die]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Your Majesty, [[Link]] must [[die]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Impa]], [[you]] are a slut!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Ganon]] is a [[dick|prick.]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Well done, your majesty!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[King Harkinian|Your Majesty,]] [[Link]] is [[gay]] and [[your face]] is beautiful!!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Many Blessings!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Your Majesty, [[Ganon]] is returning to harm [[you]] all!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[No]] [[Link]], consider this... [[Ganon]] is ''evil''!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|''Evil'' warriors are the most dangerous of [[Koridai]].}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|At last, [[you]] see!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[You]] must defeat [[Ganon]] and [[I]] will say "[[You|YOU]], [[Link|LINK]], ARE THE HERO OF KORIDAI!!!"}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[You]] will [[die]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[You]], [[Link]], Are [[Retard]]ed!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Link, we're going to the beach.}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[The King|Your Majesty,]] [[Link]] is a [[fuck]]ing [[faggot]] who sucks my [[PENIS|cock!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[NO]], YOU!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Morshu]] is a [[fat]][[ass]] [[dick|cock]] k[[no]]cker!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[You]] can suck my [[no|furry]] [[balls]], [[you]] [[fat]] [[no|shemale]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[You]] want to see some D-cup [[boobs|tits]]? Look down!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Very well, [[you]] just opened a can of whoop[[ass]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Morshu]]...}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[I]]'m going to kick [[you]]r [[ass]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Squadala]]! [[You]], [[M. Bison]], can go [[fuck]] [[Glutko]].}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Go, with [[no]] blessings!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[You]] have the vision!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Oh [[no]] [[you]] [[no|didn't!!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|It isn't my fault!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Shut up, [[ass]]hole!!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[NO]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|STOP!!!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Very well, [[Link]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|What did [[I]] miss?}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Fuck]] off, lieutanant!!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[No]], [[you]]'re carpet sucks [[dick]]!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[I]] live in [[Koridai]].}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Zelda]], [[the King]] is [[die|DEAD!!!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Beautiful!!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|May the squadala be with you!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Squadafuckinglah!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|What the [[fuck]] do you want from me now?!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Fine, I will sing for you once again.}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|That is enough. I'm too tired.}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Enough is Enough your majesty.}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|You, Link are a lazy turd!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Your majesty, [[Fat Mario|Mario]] is here!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Only fchan is furry enough, you must fap to Fchan!}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Giygas|You cannot grasp the true form of my SQUADILLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Your Majesty, CD-i is officially [[die|dead!!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|This is well done, Your Majesty! [[SkyGuy16]] is the [[shit|shiznit!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|[[Yes|Shall I have this dance?]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|That was some [[good]] [[Peppy Hare|Barrel Rolling]], [[King Harkinian|Harkinian!]]}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|Ganon is in my house.}}
{{poopquote|Gwonam|The birds are stoned. Isn't it beautiful?}}

==Trivia==
*His favorite band is [[Birds|The Byrds]].
*He once worked for the Angry German Kid.
*Was originally casted for the role of "Genie" in ''Aladdin'', but was replaced at the last minute for failing a drug test.
*He has six toes on his left foot, but no one knows about that (until now}.
*His claim that "only Link can defeat Ganon" has been disproved by the fact that Ganon has been defeated by [[Zelda]] and [[Game Luigi]].
*In about a million and one years, Gwanom will be turned into a mechanical genie, and put on an island. There he will meet a giant baby and [[Flapjack]].
*Gwonam tried to sell his flying magic carpet to Link in 1978, but Von Vulture claimed it was fake and 30 years later Link still has not bought it.
*Once said that [[The King]] totally burned [[Zelda]] and [[Link]].
*He has a YouTube account called nijjhar1.
*Once owned a restaurant chain called [[Squadallah Burger]] hiring [[Link]] as an employee, but since it only sold burgers, it failed in the light of [[Duke Onkled]]'s Diner that also sold pizza, potato chips, spaghetti and pizza pie.
*Is the current owner of Gwonam's Pizzeria which at one point was [[Morshu's Dinner Palace]]. [[Mayor Kravindish]] works there as the Maitre D' and Curly is the waiter. The King however dislikes the place because of the lack of hamburgers.
*He once sang the [[I.M. Meen]] song. He sang it beautifully, but he could only do the first part. The reason why he didn't do the rest of the song was because he got posessed by something.
*[[Link]] masturbates to his [[Facebook]] pictures. Scary.
*Squadala could possibly be referring to "Squad Allah", an Islam youth group.
*The birds are singing. Yes, it IS beautiful.
*He once thought that [[CD-i]] was officially dead as a YouTube Poop source. However, that was before [[the King]] decided to show him that "[[SkyGuy16|Big Beat Mario]]" video. That video made Gwonam change his mind about CD-i being dead.
*Owns several flying carpets. One is from the '70s (he's been trying to sell it to Link for over 30 years), one has a hemi, and one is an unreliable second hand carpet.
*He does own one car, a 1925 Nash.
.His religion is often muslim but he is actually a jew
<gallery>Image:Hermit flat6.jpg|Gwonam's house, [[no|isn't it beautiful]]?</gallery>

[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]
[[Category:Characters - Indian]]
[[Category:Pedophiles]]
[[Category:CD-i]]
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]
[[Category:Business People]]
[[Category:Characters - English]]
[[Category:Characters - Greek]]
[[Category:Characters - Chinese]]
[[Category:Dicks]]
[[Category:Elderly Characters]]

Dr. Robotnik

2010-02-18T23:10:20Z

Shanted: /* Dislikes */

{{CharBox
|name=Dr. Ivo Robotnik
|image=Eeeeeevil.jpg
|shows=Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
|sex=Male
|age=42
|sexuality=Bisexual
|occupation=Evil Scientist
|cast=[[Long John Baldry]]
}}{{Char}}

[[Image:Picture 1.png|thumb|Robotnik after having one too many chocolate brains.]]
[[Image:SatAMrobotnik.jpg|thumb|Not Robotnik.]]
'''Dr. Ivo Julian Robotnik''' is a highly popular [[Youtube Poop]] character.

He is not to be confused with [[Dr. Eggman]], his evil twin brother from the new-gen [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.

==Career==

Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became [[Super Robotnik]], openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands (with a little help from [[Freakazoid (character)|Freakazoid]]), became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married [[Bill O'Reilly]], possessed [[King Harkinian]]'s body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful [[Chaos Emeralds]], got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of [[Wario]]Ware Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over [[Toon Disney]], and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of Robotnik's emporium. But noone cared so they separated. Sometimes, he makes a living by selling lemonade... ''poisoned'', of course. He once starred in a TV show with Terry Hargon, in which they argued over a letter from Throbbin Screetch. He is also currently the world champion of [[Tekken]] 15: Dark Blood Revenge.

Despite the fact that his parents said that he wouldn't amount to anything, Robotnik has had a very successful career, as you can see.

[[Image:Robotnik30.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik with his giant hand picking up a giant phone.]]

==Presidential Run==

It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an [[Vorhias|elaborately designed]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPfniwoQ_rk campaign video]. No other characters have announced their intentions to run probably except Rudy Larriva, but many are expected to follow suit.

Robotnik won the presidential election by a wide margin in 2008. He plans to run again for the 2010 presidency, and so far it is rumored that [[Lex Luthor]], his long-term rival, will also run against him.

==Likes==
*Himself
*A bucket of chicken [[balls]].
*His [[Robotnik and his Gameboy|Game Boy]]
*[[Travis Touchdown]]'s Beam Katanas
*[[Sex|Fucking With]] [[Scratch]]. (Whether Scratch sucks him orally or Dr. Robotnik does him anally or something similar like that is something that they both don't really matter on.)
[[Image:Image4.jpg|thumb|[[Scratch]]: [[Yes|Dr. Robotnik's current love.]]]]
*The [[Muppet Babies]]
*Eating a wagon wheel
*Going out, out, out the door
*Strawberry Shortcuts
*[[You]]
*[[Porn]]
*The [[KKK]]
*Sprite
*His special [[Super Robotnik]] [[form]].
*Putting out the Bushroot.
*His [[Pingas]]
*[[Soda Popinski|Soda Popinski/Vodka Drunkenski]]
*[[Sex|Sodomy]]
[[Image:Gdfg.png|thumb|right|Him telling [[Scratch|his]] [[Grounder|cro]][[Coconuts|nies]] what he currently has.]]
*[[Morshu|Getting Richer]]
*Being a super genius.
*Having inventions that actually work.
*Blood
*[[Me]] (Especially if the "me" voted for him.)]
*[[Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery|Fat Bastard]], his best friend.
*[[Racism]]
*[[Eggs]]
*Tacos
*[[Lucinda]]
*[[Darkwing Yak]]
*[[Rock TV]]
*Channel DDD
*His bones

==Dislikes==
{{vid|K1yneJSJx3E}}
[[Image:RobotnikNo.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik answering [[Scratch]] and [[Grounder]]'s question about them having [[gay]] [[sex]] together.]]
*[[Sonic|THAT HEDGEHOG]]
*[[Mama Luigi]]
*[[Mario]]
*When he loses to [[Froggo]] over a bucket of KFC.
*"That Chimpanzee"
*Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in [[Super Smash Bros. Brawl]].)
*[[Da Bears]]
*[[Insane Clown Posse|Clowns]]
*Snakes
*An alligator who chased him once.
*Spot The Chicken
*Dipstick
*71519
*[[Face]]
*Not being able to say the N-word.
*Action 52 & The Cheetahmen (But who doesn't?)
*[[Animal Soccer World]] & everything Phoenix Games has ever touched.
*[[Pickle Surprise]]
*Every single rebel on Mobius. He wants them all blasted out of existence.
*[[King Harkinian]]
*Some [[Cornflakes]]
[[Image:Icon robokx2.gif|thumb|right|[[PINGAS]]!!!]]
*The House of The Dead: Overkill
*His evil twin [[Dr. Eggman]].
*[[Jesus Christ]]
*[[Smirking Bitch]]
*[[The Jonas Brothers|Those queermos on the Disney Channel.]]
*[[4Kids]]
*Trixie Tang
*The Children's Television Workshop
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[High Voltage]] Software (They're ruining his plan to make the [[Wii|Nintendo Wii]] look like a piece of [[shit]] by making shovelware type of games. To think that this is all because Masahiro Sakurai didn't put him in [[Super Smash Bros. Brawl]]. Now that's sad don't you think?)
*[[Robotnikclaus]], his archrival.
Shigeru Miyamoto

==Skills==
[[Image:Ghfdgh.png|thumb|right|The infamous picture used for the [[Youtube Poop]] meme called '''"This Video Contains Win!!!"''']]
Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's [[KFC]] nearby.

Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. This was caused after he accepted a part of the Gum-Gum Fruit, offered by [[Luffy]]. He has been known to have [[Laughing Panther|uncontrollable fits of laughter.]]

In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.

He also has the power to give [[promotion]]s. So far, very few have been able to get promotions from him.

Apparently he can blink but it's hard to notice.

His giant ass is so huge that he has to buy custom-built chairs and toilets. His dumps are so enormous that his plumbing pipes must be at least 12 feet wide to avoid clogs.

He can eat and carry 300 pounds of ham.

==Gossip==
[[Image:robotikniks.jpg|thumb|Robotnik while watching gay porn.]]
*It is rumored that [[Scratch]] has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. ''(See: [[ScraBotnik]])''
*Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
*It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with [[Zelda]], himself, and [[Ms. Filkins]] resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
*There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus, but this was disproved when Robotnikclaus revealed himself.
*It's rumored that Sarah is his daughter.
*Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date [[Makoto Kino]], however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
*It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
*In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrounder" and "Groutch". Alas, [[Scrounder]] has been confirmed to really exist recently.
*Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
*When [[Rudy Larriva]] and [[Mama Luigi]] announced [[Hunter Harrison]]'s candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul [[Robotnik Express]] for him.
[[Image:STHCS1.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Robotnik's call has just been disconnected... again!]]
*[[Bugs Bunny]] believes Robotnik is Polish.
*Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a [[SatAM|Saturday Morning]] until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
*Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa [[spaghetti]].
*It is rumored that Chowder is his son.
*Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny Asian yellow ranger.
*He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with [[Tails|Sonic's two-tailed little friend]], who he affectionately refers to as MILES.
*Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant.
*Robotnik wants you to touch his [[PENIS|PINGAS]].
*He once had the argument of the century with [[M. Bison]]. Later on in that argument, [[Fat Mario]] and [[Captain Falcon]] would join their respective sides in this argument.
*He's the one who built [[Glados]].
*Dr. Robotnik was considered to be the #7 douchebag of [[Angry Nintendo Nerd|Screwattack's]] Top Ten List of Douchebags. He was ahead of [[Wario]], [[Superman]] (lol, wut?!), and [[Michael Jackson]] (R.I.P. ;_;), yet he failed to defeat the [[Russians|Ruffians from the Viva Pinata series]], [[Burger King|the Burger King himself]], [[Bowser]], [[Metal Gear Solid|Psycho Mantis]], [[Gay Luigi|Jack Thompson]], and the Duck Hunt Dog itself.
*He drove that hedgehog to the fucking moon once.
*He also once had a crazy cousin named Warpnik. Unfortunetly, he's banished into the Warp of Penis so he isn't with us anymore.
*It was confirmed that Dr. Robotnik was a [[Nazi]]/Neo-Nazi, or at least a temporary one.
*It is rumored that before he goes to bed at night he wraps his [[penis|PINGAS]] in strips of bacon. That could also explain why his PINGAS makes other penises be ashamed of themselves.
*Oddly enough, he, along with [[Bowser]] and [[Ganon]], refused to help [[King K. Rool]] seize YouTube Poop in the name of the [[Angry German Kid]].
*He recently tricked the Mario Bros. into killing Sonic for him by planting a forged note from the hedgehog for them to find.
*He once suffered a form of tourette syndrome where Hugh Tasmanian Devil-style rambling and "Peanuts" adult speech got injected in his dialogue.
*Also once made a Strawberry Shortcut and tried to do the [[Pickle Surprise]] once.
*Is rumored to [[Masturbation|masturbate]] the very instant he sees the "DO NOT [[Masturbation|MASTURBATE]]" video. (Subsequentialy, you can see the video on the bottom right here.)
{{vid|QGaNvWI9ZfU}}
*His nose is actually a second [[PENIS]].
*With the help of [[Dracula]], he conquered New Jersey; beating [[Will Smith]] to the punch.
*He and Robotnikclaus recorded a hit single together titled "Piness Piness Pingas Pingas", which Stimpy J. Cat likes to play constantly much to Ren Hoek's displeasure.
*He has been found to have been sexually assulted again, this time by [[Big Cheese]] in 1989, leading to [[Big Cheese]]'s impeachment.
*The [[Nostalgia Critic]] actually once shot his own [[fuck]]ing head off. After he [[die]]d, all of Mobius exploded into a million pieces.
*Enjoys shoving bricks into his eye and eating wrenches.
*He has a small [[PENIS|erection]] when he sees [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic The Hedgehog]] and [[Tails]] [[kiss]] and/or have [[sex]] [[yes|with each other.]]
*He has a part-time job as a kindergarten teacher; however, he frequently gets caught in traffic on his way there.
*Rumored to have a crush on Danny Elfman.
*Rumored to have the most rumors than any one else in the world.
*TURN OFF THAT LIGHT!!! Can't [[you]] see he's [[masturbating|fapping?!]]

==Memorable Quotes==
[[Image: 16_fanart_sonicgottagofast.gif|thumb|Robotnik's ultimate rival, [[Sonic]].]]
{{poopquote|Robotnik|SILENCE!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I hate that hedgehog!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|(While having an orgasm) OOOOH, THAT'S GOOOOD!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|YOU PISS BRAINS!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|MAKE ME HAPPY!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You miserable mess of microchips!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|NOTE}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This is like bending [[spaghetti]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'm engulfed in a... [[dust]] cloud!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|DOY...[[SHOU!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss??}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'll smack yer ma!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[NO]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|And I order you to tell me of any carrots, peppers, and bugs of security, the second Christmas comes up!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Snoo[[Pingas|ping as]] usual, I see?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My full name is SUPER Robotnik!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!}}
[[Image:DrRobotnikloses.png|thumb|300px|Dr. Robotnik enraged by the fact that [[you]] beat him in his own game (Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine).]]
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|What kind of nincompoops are you!?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|See you next faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|If you don't, I'll melt you down... ''MY'' way!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik| YOU NINCOMBOTS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik| YOU NIGGABOTS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Get out of life!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I thought I was rid of you,you fish-fondling fruitcake!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|NICE PEOPLE.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[Beans]]...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Nice [[toaster]]. I must remind my badniks to steal some [[Bowser's Sourpuss Bread|BREAD]] for it.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Tea? TEA?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[France|Surrender]] to [[me]].}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My...[[Ass|caboose]]...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|WHO CARES?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Body Parts!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|No one makes fun of me! No one!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|TOMORROW I'LL...}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|PRRR! PRRR!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|TOUCH MY PINGAS!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|My Robo-Transmogrifier will take care of you prehistoric fuzzballs!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Who's Rich???}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I HATE [[Da Bears]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|YOU DOUBLE NIGGER!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Warpnik to the Warp of Confusion!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Steroids!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Friction!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Oxymoron!!!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|DAAh, [[Fuck|forg]]et it!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Gladiators!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Did he say what I thought he said? [[Link|I win]]!?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I order [[you]] to break my [[penis]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|With Sonic trapped in the force field, Mobius is mine! ''Mine!'' ...Did I say that already?}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I'm surrounded by [[dick|dicks!!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Smells like... [[Dr. Rockso|cocaine!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|This time, there'll be [[no]] slip-ups!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|O.K., so [[I]] had a small erection.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I haven't SEEN such beans since I banned my crazy cousin [[Luigi]] to the Warp of Toast!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Aha! I have just come up with a magnnnnificent scheme! Now you may lick my pingas.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[Dr. Doofenshmirtz|But, my goody-two-shoes brother, the favorite of my mother, is the one I want to smother in a ton of pigeon goo!]]}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I captured my [[dick]] and became [[dick|dic]]tator!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Auuugh!! Who took a shit in my chair?!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Tomorrow I'll [[fuck|mess]] with [[Scratch]] and [[Grounder]]!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|He wants me because I am magnanimous and imperative. That's two great things. Not one great thing and an okay thing or one good thing and a so-so thing; it's ''two'' great things!}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|After I do some [[booze]], I'm certain I'll do some [[Magic drugs|acid]]! AHAHAHAHA!!!}}

==The Greatest [[Evil]]...==
After the existence of [[Scrounder]] was confirmed, a theory has appeared that Robotnik himself could fuse with the aforementioned monstrosity to form Dr. Scroundbotnik. If this being were ever to be created, it would wield a power mighty enough to rival even Kimera Luigi. Let us hope this never comes to pass...
[[Image:Q3zscn.jpg|frame|left|Dr. Robotnik hates the company of the same name that makes computers in Canada.]]
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