Chewiki Archive - YouChew - User contributions [en]

Mario Head

2011-01-15T20:09:45Z

ESADTHEBUMjunior:

{{Char}}
{{Vid|yMN-1iixSdY}}
{{Vid|oyWgY7hykMk}}
[[Image:Mariohead1.png|thumb|Mario Head drifting around in [[Blue Koopa]]'s lair.]]
{{VidCaption|LJlWe4dAq3A|The first Mario Head poop.}}
{{VidCaption|pZkZWlAIG0w|Mario Head's favourite video.}}
{{VidCaption|kAFzKNE306g|A rather popular Mario's Head poop.}}Mario Head is a [[retard]]ed demon. He teaches typing to people despite his low intelligence, and has a severe sweet tooth. Although he is known to have violent outbursts at time, he can't hurt anyone outside of biting them because he's just a floating disembodied head. He is also a liar, because he said he was falling and couldn't get up, but he could get up because he can fly.

==Trivia==
*He's always wanted to [[die]].
*He's got mad flying skills.
*His nose looks like a [[PENIS]].
*He has a beautiful singing voice and often offers bypassers to sing for them about moray eels.
*His best friend is [[Blue Koopa]] and he's often seen hanging around at his place.
*He has a not harmful variaton of epilepsy as he's seen having [[seizure]]s pretty often.
*Gains much power from [[chocolate]] [[cum|milk]] allergies. (see the poop to the [[right]], ''Mario's Head is Allergic to Chocolate Milk''.)
*[[You]] were afraid of Mario Head as a little kid. I can't blame you....
*He often eats entire boxes of candy, and then goes on a sugar-high spasm, flying and drifting all over Blue Koopa's lair and making a mess.
*Despite being a complete moron with a negative IQ, his students still seem to learn how to
type from him, and a speech he gave at Oxford, Yale, and Harvard went over surprisingly well.
*He ain't got noboooddy (get it? no body? hehehe, I made a funny!
*Why he decided to take a profession in teaching typing if he can't type without hands is a mystery. So here's a fair enough answer: If you can, do, if you can't, teach.
*[[Wario|Wario Head]] hates him.
*His favorite Pokemon is Gastly.
*He is also known to temporarily grow a body and play Go Fish with people like the [[Heavy Weapons Guy]], often getting frustrated when he loses.
*Made a comeback in High-Def, but was quickly canceled due to being too fucking creepy.
*He does a very [[good]] impression of both [[America]]n advertisements and [[American]] [[racism]]. Albeit how he knows how to do American racism is sort of beyond me.
*For some strange reason, he ended up being in Super Mario 64.
**He also returned along with a friend named Yoshi Head in the Nintendo DS remake of Super Mario 64.

==Quotes==
*"[[No|Can I sing a song for you?]]"
*"When the moon hits you eye, like a big-a [[pizza]] pie, that's [[love|amore]]!"
*"When an eel lunges out, and takes a bite of your snout, that's a moray!"
*"Watch out for falling rocks!"
*"It's-a your turn to [[DIE|type]]!"
*"That was my impression of [[America]]n [[racism]]! Thank you-a very much! Thank you, thank you!"
*"My [[PINGAS|nose]] feels-a funny against this screen!"
*"[[Atari|POLE POSITION]]!"
*"FOUR WHEELS OF FURY!"
*"POLE FURY!"
*"FOUR WHEELS OF PPOOSSIITTIIOONN!!"
*"I'm-a gonna fly for you!"
*"Mario's tunnel of-a doom."
*"Where is everbody? Hey! Don't leave me all alone! [[Cum|COME]] BACK!"
*"Get ready to move your [[penis|PINGORZ]]!
[[Image:113044-miyamoto.jpg|frame|left|Mario don't think you're fantastic, Mr. Miyamoto!]]
[[Category:Mario]]
[[Category:Retarded Characters]]
[[Category:Characters - Italian]]
[[Category:Characters - American]]
[[Category:Europeans]]
[[Category:Drug Addicts]]

Link

2011-01-12T04:43:24Z

ESADTHEBUMjunior:

{{char}}
{{CharBox
|name=Link
|image=linkspin.GIF
|shows=The Legend of Zelda
|sex=Male
|age=3?
|occupation=Hero, Goober, boi
|cast=Nobuyuki Hiyama (Nintendo games), Jonathan Potts (cartoon), Jeffrey Rath (CD-i)
}}
[[Image:End_005_1_0001.jpg|thumb|Link upon winning something, like [[Link: Faces of Evil|his quest]] or Monopoly.]]
[[Image:1175742037099.png|thumb|Link in his latest game.]]
[[image:linkthe_saiyan.gif|thumb|150px|right|[[Goku|Saiyan]] Link.]]
[[image:Fat_link.jpg|thumb|150px|right|[[Fat]] Link.]]
[[Image:Crater cove11.jpg|thumb|Your [[sword]] is enough.]]
[[Image:A2511e2ab6d0f667bc9cfc88d09c15c3.jpg|thumb|right|Link owned a [[Chinese]] Restaurant at one time.]]
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|Link, [[King Harkinian]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]]
[[Image:PowerZelda.gif|thumb|right|[[Link]] being his [[retard|usual old self.]]]]
Link is a civilian of [[Hyrule]], who in times of crisis works as the [[No|Hero]]. He usually hangs out at the castle, hearing bouts about what makes true warriors by the [[King of Hyrule|King]] himself. Link thinks many things are boring, and according to the [[It is written|Scripture of Utter Bullshit]], is the only person who can defeat [[Ganon]]. (Many times this prophecy has been proven false. [[King Harkinian|The King]], [[Mario]], and [[Zelda]] along with many others have defeated Ganon.)

Link is the current standing Hero of [[Hyrule]]. He was preceded by himself and will be succeeded by himself.

==Skills==
Link is skilled in the art of combat, and is a master swordsman and marksman. As mentioned below he has above average cooking skills and he is great at using/wielding magical weaponry. He has the ability to carry a limitless amount of stuff, as well as being able to use ordinary items such as Aunt Jemima syrup in combat. He is an adept of the legendary [[Duckwalk]] maneuver. Cool, huh?

On the other hand, he sucks at using crossbows, has questionable intelligence and poor social skills.

==Diet==
Link also likes to eat. He has been known to have some cooking skill, but he almost burned down all of Hyrule after foolishly putting spaghetti in a toaster. He is also addicted to Volvic mineral water, and cakes (normally from the baker in Sakado, although the claimed "cakes" are actually loaves of bread. That two-timing S.O.B.). He has also been known to sneak sips of wine from the king's goblet. If he gets hungry enough, he will eat an [[Octorok]].

==Sexual Orientation==
It has been assumed Link is a homosexual, seeing has he has tried to sneak kisses with [[Gwonam]] at multiple times. However, this has been disproven as he has had [[sex]] with [[Zelda]], [[Impa]], and [[Lady Alma]] many times. Another rumor is that he is bisexual, or even asexual and doesn't really care (Like an amoeba).

Still, he ''did'' enjoy that [[:Image:Negima marshmallow hell.jpg|hug]] from Cremia quite a bit...

==Possessions==
*His sword
*Lamp oil
*Rope
*[[Bombs]]
*A lightsaber
*Lotsa guns
*Young And Anal 15 video tape
*The king's chalice
*Boomerang
*Bow and arrow
*Various masks
*Iron Boots
*an [[Octorok]]

==Likes==
*[[Zelda]]
*[[Impa]]
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s games
**[[Sonic X]]
*[[SEGA|Sega]] Genesis
*[[Xbox 360]]
*[[Nintendo]] [[Wii]]
*The Philips CD-i
*Atari 2600
*Sega Dreamcast
*[[PS3]] (Doesn't have one though.)
*[[Gwonam]]
*Bombs
*Guns
*[[Boobs|Tits]]
*[[Boobs|Rubies]]
*Consuming [[Octorok|rock-spitting terrestrial cephalopods.]]
*[[Kiss|KISS.]]

==Dislikes==
*[[Doraemon]]
*The Delilah Show
*[[Chad Warden]]
*[[Ronald McDonald]] (Hell, who doesn't?)
*The [[Nintendo|Chintendo]] [[Wii|Vii]]
*Spoons
==Memorable Quotes==
{{poopquote|Link|...}}
{{poopquote|Link|I won!}}
{{poopquote|Link|Gee! It sure is boring around here!}}
{{poopquote|Link|What are all those heads?}}
{{poopquote|Link|I guess I better get going!}}
{{poopquote|Link|I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorok!}}
{{poopquote|Link|Great! I'll grab my stuff!}}
{{poopquote|Link|Hey! Exc''uuuuuu''se me, Princess!}}
{{poopquote|Link|I can't wait to bomb some dodongos!}}
{{poopquote|Link|That old [[King Harkinian|King]] is [[no]] match [[for]] [[Ganon]]!}}
{{poopquote|Link|I just wonder what [[Ganon]]'s up to.}}
{{poopquote|Link|Golly!}}
{{poopquote|Link|It's a Gohma!}}
{{poopquote|Link|(Hey,) EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME, Princess!}}
{{poopquote|Link|Fine, jeez!}}
{{poopquote|Link|[[Mysterious Black Dude|Remember me?]]}}
{{poopquote|Link|I wish I could see what he was thinking right now.}}
{{poopquote|Link|Don't worry Princess, the cavalry's on the way.}}
{{poopquote|Link|Looks like we're in trouble, princess! (Said in a [[African]]-like voice.)}}
{{poopquote|Link|(After seeing the [[90's Kid]] using his [[Sega]] Genesis like a boombox.) I guess I better get rid of this [[Sega]]!}}
{{poopquote|Link|That old King is EVIL!}}
{{poopquote|Link|That old [[King]] is no match for [[Ganon]]!}}
[[Image:Link.jpg|right|thumb|Link's older brother, Link.]]
[[Image:Link_FEMALE.jpg|thumb|[[Homer Simpson|Stupid sexy female Link.]]]]

==Trivia==
*Link is part Saiyan, or part [[Nazi|Aryan]]. Same thing.
*Has been reincarnated multiple times, and is rumored to be the next Dalai Lama.
*Link plays Young Cosette in the musical "Les CD-i".
*Used to be the Best Wii Player of Koridai, but was eventually beaten by [[M. Bison]].
*His worst enemy is not Ganon, but actually the Scatman, who tries to crucify him.
*Even though he is a [[Nintendo]] character, he wants a [[Playstation 3]] because he claims he "can't use the [[[Wii]]'s] controller."
*He got a job at Gwonam's restaurant, [[Squadala Burger]], in an attempt to earn money to buy a PlayStation 3. It didn't work out because no one came to the restaurant wanting burgers.
*Had a short-lived career as the guitarist of the [[Fish|Zora]] band ''The Indigo-Go's'' until the other band members discovered he actually stole the identity of the true guitarist, then deceased.
*According to [[Screwattack]], Link's [[sword]] ''[[Gwonam|is enough]]'' for him after all, because his sword was added to their Armory.
*Also, like [[Darth Vader]], Yoda, and The Apprentice appearing in Soulcalibur IV, Link also appeared in Soulcalibur II (Along with Spawn and [[Heihachi Mishima]] of the [[Tekken]] series, but they never met each other, as they all appeared in different versions of the game, Link in the GameCube version.). Another interesting note is that Link and Yoshimitsu <s>have</s> had the same voice actor.
*His younger self likes to drink a whole bottle of milk while fighting in Super Smash Bros. Melee.
*Once got a hug from Cremia. He enjoyed it greatly.
*Can't use a crossbow for shit, so he uses the Wii Zapper.
*When his head detaches from his body, he transforms into the fabled "Link's Floating Head of Benevolence".
*One time, he went to face Ganon with just ''[[bombs]]''! Guess [[Gwonam]] was [[wrong]] about his [[sword]] after all.
*When the King once demanded Link to take his damn clothes off, he accepted his proposal. You can him naked [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rz3rcmH57A8 right here.]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Link}}
[[Category:CD-i]]
[[Category:Video Game Characters]]
[[Category:Porno Watchers/Lovers]]
[[Category:Characters - Appears in The Legend of Zelda]]
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Super Smash Bros.]]
[[Category:Hyrule]]
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Link: The Faces of Evil]]
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]
[[Category:Nintendo Characters]]

Hektad

2011-01-12T04:35:08Z

ESADTHEBUMjunior:

{{char}}
{{CharBox
|name=Χεκταδ Κάρολος Σολωμός (Haktad Karolos Solomos)
|image=Dodomai palace28.jpg
|shows=Zelda: Wand of Gamelon
|noaddshows=yes
|sex=Male
|age=Somewhere between 83 and 562
|occupation=Magician, Candle Maker
|cast=
|nationality=Greek
}}

[[Image:Hecktad.jpg|thumb|Hektad being bubbled to death.]]
One of Ganon's minions. Hektad (not to be confused with "Hector" or other similar sounding names) has [[Feghoot|blue hair]], a long blue beard, a blue robe, a purple tounge, and untrimmed fingernails. He is dangerous and can also be boiled and melted with the Wand of Gamelon, revealing his beating plump red heart.

His first death happened in the aforementioned manner: Zelda melted him with the Wand of Gamelon. When asked how she feels about brutally murdering Hektad without [[Duke Onkled|mercy]], Zelda responded by saying she thinks his death is "[[Good]]".

Cultural Heritage: Greece

*He has [[DIE|died]] more than any other [[Youtube Poop Characters|character]], resulting in often being seen in [[the pit]].
*It should be noted that his [[die|death]] scene was done with [[Sony Vegas|special effects]]

{{Vid|V8JqYxd6CxM}}
==Likes==
[[Image:Ready.jpg|thumb|right|Ready?]]
*Obeying [[Ganon]]
*Keeping runts in chains
*Runts candy (often swallowing the heart-shaped ones)
*Trying to make his death scenes as dramatic as possible
*Quoting [[Darth Vader]]
*Telling people they've killed him, [[Wrong|even though he's obviously still alive]] if he can talk.
*Disapearing and reapearing in random places.
*Beating [[King Harkinian]] at chess
{{VidCaption|UiMra5mZxAI|[[Whelt]] spelled Hectad's name [[WRONG|wrong]] because he's dangerous.}}
==Dislikes==
*The Wand of Gamelon
*[[Zelda]]
*[[Fari]]
*Boiling
*Melting
*[[DIE|Dying]]
*[[The Pit]]
*[[Goronu]]
*Being [[Sex|fisted]] by [[Martin Ssempa]].

==Quotes==
[[Image:Next.jpg|thumb|right|Hektad is quite upset.]]
{{poopquote|Hektad|Yes, [[Ganon|Master]].}}
{{poopquote|Hektad|Yoooou've kiiiilled meeee!}}
{{poopquote|Hektad|Ready? Am I here? Or here? Or here? Hahaha, Next!}}
{{poopquote|Hektad|Ready? Am I straight? Or [[gay]]? Or bi? Hahaha, Neeeeeexxxxxxt!!!}}
{{poopquote|Hektad|Am I [[Sex|sexy]]?}}
{{poopquote|Hektad|You [[Princess Zelda|bitch]]!}}
==Powers==
*Teleportation
*Throwing condensed explosions.
*Invincibility to all but the Wand of Gamelon.
*Master chess player.
*Growing blue hair.
*Having a heart shaped like a Valentine's Day icon rather than the blood-pumping muscle most people have.
{{DEFAULTSORT:Hektad}}
[[Category:CD-i]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Zelda: Wand of Gamelon]]

Mario Head

2011-01-12T04:32:27Z

ESADTHEBUMjunior:

{{Char}}
{{Vid|yMN-1iixSdY}}
{{Vid|oyWgY7hykMk}}
[[Image:Mariohead1.png|thumb|Mario Head drifting around in [[Blue Koopa]]'s lair.]]
{{VidCaption|LJlWe4dAq3A|The first Mario Head poop.}}
{{VidCaption|pZkZWlAIG0w|Mario Head's favourite video.}}
{{VidCaption|kAFzKNE306g|A rather popular Mario's Head poop.}}Mario Head is a [[retard]]ed demon. He teaches typing to people despite his low intelligence, and has a severe sweet tooth. Although he is known to have violent outbursts at time, he can't hurt anyone outside of biting them because he's just a floating disembodied head. He is also a lier, because he said he was falling and couldn't get up, but he could get up because he can fly.

==Trivia==
*He's always wanted to [[die]].
*He's got mad flying skills.
*His nose looks like a [[PENIS]].
*He has a beautiful singing voice and often offers bypassers to sing for them about moray eels.
*His best friend is [[Blue Koopa]] and he's often seen hanging around at his place.
*He has a not harmful variaton of epilepsy as he's seen having [[seizure]]s pretty often.
*Gains much power from [[chocolate]] [[cum|milk]] allergies. (see the poop to the [[right]], ''Mario's Head is Allergic to Chocolate Milk''.)
*[[You]] were afraid of Mario Head as a little kid. I can't blame you....
*He often eats entire boxes of candy, and then goes on a sugar-high spasm, flying and drifting all over Blue Koopa's lair and making a mess.
*Despite being a complete moron with a negative IQ, his students still seem to learn how to type from him, and a speech he gave at Oxford, Yale, and Harvard went over surprisingly well.
*Why he decided to take a profession in teaching typing if he can't type without hands is a mystery. So here's a fair enough answer: If you can, do, if you can't, teach.
*[[Wario|Wario Head]] hates him.
*His favorite Pokemon is Gastly.
*He is also known to temporarily grow a body and play Go Fish with people like the [[Heavy Weapons Guy]], often getting frustrated when he loses.
*Made a comeback in High-Def, but was quickly canceled due to being too fucking creepy.
*He does a very [[good]] impression of both [[America]]n advertisements and [[American]] [[racism]]. Albeit how he knows how to do American racism is sort of beyond me.
*For some strange reason, he ended up being in Super Mario 64.
**He also returned along with a friend named Yoshi Head in the Nintendo DS remake of Super Mario 64.

==Quotes==
*"[[No|Can I sing a song for you?]]"
*"When the moon hits you eye, like a big-a [[pizza]] pie, that's [[love|amore]]!"
*"When an eel lunges out, and takes a bite of your snout, that's a moray!"
*"Watch out for falling rocks!"
*"It's-a your turn to [[DIE|type]]!"
*"That was my impression of [[America]]n [[racism]]! Thank you-a very much! Thank you, thank you!"
*"My [[PINGAS|nose]] feels-a funny against this screen!"
*"[[Atari|POLE POSITION]]!"
*"FOUR WHEELS OF FURY!"
*"POLE FURY!"
*"FOUR WHEELS OF PPOOSSIITTIIOONN!!"
*"I'm-a gonna fly for you!"
*"Mario's tunnel of-a doom."
*"Where is everbody? Hey! Don't leave me all alone! [[Cum|COME]] BACK!"
*"Get ready to move your [[penis|PINGORZ]]!
[[Image:113044-miyamoto.jpg|frame|left|Mario don't think you're fantastic, Mr. Miyamoto!]]
[[Category:Mario]]
[[Category:Retarded Characters]]
[[Category:Characters - Italian]]
[[Category:Characters - American]]
[[Category:Europeans]]
[[Category:Drug Addicts]]